Girlfriend, Girlfriend
- Thread starter Hoozuki
- Start date
interregnum
Well-Known Member
...I feel seen.
It's not every show that brings out my "walking around the couch" story, but this one deserves its retelling:
I took an acting class, in college, and this one group of students in the class had something happen in an improv exercise that was so outlandish and unexpected that one of the guys who wasn't involved in the action just walked around the couch that was on the set and laughed hysterically at what the other people were doing. And, when he got back to where he started, he just laughed harder and walked around the couch again. Because, as he later told us, it was the only thing that made sense to do.
I spent most of this episode figuratively walking around the couch. Because it was ridiculous--and I mean that in both senses of the word: extremely silly AND entirely worthy of ridicule.
Because...what a f***ing mess.
Now, don't get me wrong--I didn't hate it. And I'm not giving up on it. But as an opening for what is a very, very, very precarious premise? I thought this was a disaster.
Again: not a total failure, because there's actually more than a couple of things that I thought worked and worked well (especially OBVIOUS BEST GIRL PURPLE-CHAN)--such as Red-chan, generally, and the decision to immediately explain away the sexytime issues--but the stumbles were many and glaring and, not surprisingly, all born of the same issue: trying to thread the needle on the premise.
Essentially: s*** or get off the pot, show. Either create the rules of your universe or more-or-less accept those of ours. Because you can't go a la carte. Not with this premise.
What I'm hoping is that this week was housekeeping, a necessary ("necessary") run-through of all the details and setup we'll need to accept as true for the absurdist jokes that follow to be allowed to happen. Because, if it's not, and if what follows is more of this handwave-y fence-sitting, then you guys are going to be enjoying this series without me.
Just...just like you do with other shows already. A lot.
Actually...like, a lot a lot, now that I...think about it...
All around me are familiar faces...
...
Also, if there's not a yuri plot bubbling under the surface with Purple-chan, I will be furious.
That cracked me up. Well done.
On that note, though: how long until someone tries to sucker me into watching some artsy bull**** psycho-drama by tagging me in with, "Some really big Rent-a-Girlfriend vibes" or the like?
I took an acting class, in college, and this one group of students in the class had something happen in an improv exercise that was so outlandish and unexpected that one of the guys who wasn't involved in the action just walked around the couch that was on the set and laughed hysterically at what the other people were doing. And, when he got back to where he started, he just laughed harder and walked around the couch again. Because, as he later told us, it was the only thing that made sense to do.
I spent most of this episode figuratively walking around the couch. Because it was ridiculous--and I mean that in both senses of the word: extremely silly AND entirely worthy of ridicule.
Because...what a f***ing mess.
Now, don't get me wrong--I didn't hate it. And I'm not giving up on it. But as an opening for what is a very, very, very precarious premise? I thought this was a disaster.
Again: not a total failure, because there's actually more than a couple of things that I thought worked and worked well (especially OBVIOUS BEST GIRL PURPLE-CHAN)--such as Red-chan, generally, and the decision to immediately explain away the sexytime issues--but the stumbles were many and glaring and, not surprisingly, all born of the same issue: trying to thread the needle on the premise.
The concept, here, is absurd. Or very edgy (like, for-real edgy, not edgelord kind of edgy). Both of which are great--but it can't be both. It has to pick which it wants to be.
Now, it isn't trying to be both--but it's also not picking a side. Or, rather, I think it's trying to pick a side without abandoning bits of the other side.
On the "throuple lulz" side of things--which is where the episode clearly wants to set itself up--we have our buffoonish Boy MC's utterly earnest guilelessness, Blue-chan's apparently (to this very early point) sincere and optimistic accommodation, and Red-chan's mom's unfazed acquiescence to Boy MC's request by text message that her daughter stay with him for a while. It's all so two-dimensional and convenient and absurd--which is perfectly fine for a series that's going to exist in a sphere of unreality. (Aho-Girl, to make the easy comparison, achieved this immediately because the premise wasn't outlandish, just the characters.)
After all, almost literally every part of what's happened so far should not be happening, a lot of it a suspension bridge of disbelief too far, in my opinion, but all of which can be explained (if, ultimately, not excused) by the desire to not simply start off in the co-habitation situation (which feels suspiciously like an editor came to the author and said, "You have to tell us how it happened or the audience will have too many questions!!!").
...but then there's the edgy (or maybe I just mean serious) side, which casts unneeded doubt onto all of that.
Specifically, we have Red-chan's feelings on the matter. She's hurt, she's scared of losing the guy she clearly more than likes, and she's (however played for laughs it is) kinda into Blue-chan. The scenario is very, very real for her, and in more than a simple "she's the straight-man" kind of way. She's been thrust into a situation she doesn't want and which she should VERY OBVIOUSLY reject outright...but she also isn't just going along with it for no reason or because the plot demands it or because "can you believe how waaaaacky this is" or because she's too irrationally stubborn to lose. She's there because feelings are mixed up. It's the same about the three of them being a literal (semi-)menage a trois as it is about her simultaneous deep hesitation over--yet obviously great interest in--sex: she feels opposing things at the same time.
Which can be hilarious if, like Morals Committee Girl in Aho-Girl, one set of impulses undercuts what is ultimately a facade made of those opposing ideas. But that's not what's happening, here.
While Boy MC and Blue-chan are all but cardboard figures leaping headlong into get things to the co-habitation portion of the story, Red-chan is actually experiencing the reality of the story as it tries to amble into the comedic premise proper. Someone obviously needs to ground the world a bit so the hijinks can seem hijinks-y, but she's not "the lone sane person caught in a storm of insanity," which is how this kind of thing would usually go--she's a real person caught up in a world that wants to be unmoored from reality. And...that's more dissonant than it is juxtaposed.
Now, it isn't trying to be both--but it's also not picking a side. Or, rather, I think it's trying to pick a side without abandoning bits of the other side.
On the "throuple lulz" side of things--which is where the episode clearly wants to set itself up--we have our buffoonish Boy MC's utterly earnest guilelessness, Blue-chan's apparently (to this very early point) sincere and optimistic accommodation, and Red-chan's mom's unfazed acquiescence to Boy MC's request by text message that her daughter stay with him for a while. It's all so two-dimensional and convenient and absurd--which is perfectly fine for a series that's going to exist in a sphere of unreality. (Aho-Girl, to make the easy comparison, achieved this immediately because the premise wasn't outlandish, just the characters.)
It's also why the show jumps so immediately to clearly establish celibacy as the default setting. It's waaaaay easier to be and to accept being silly, in this circumstance, without that baggage piling up in the background.
...but then there's the edgy (or maybe I just mean serious) side, which casts unneeded doubt onto all of that.
Specifically, we have Red-chan's feelings on the matter. She's hurt, she's scared of losing the guy she clearly more than likes, and she's (however played for laughs it is) kinda into Blue-chan. The scenario is very, very real for her, and in more than a simple "she's the straight-man" kind of way. She's been thrust into a situation she doesn't want and which she should VERY OBVIOUSLY reject outright...but she also isn't just going along with it for no reason or because the plot demands it or because "can you believe how waaaaacky this is" or because she's too irrationally stubborn to lose. She's there because feelings are mixed up. It's the same about the three of them being a literal (semi-)menage a trois as it is about her simultaneous deep hesitation over--yet obviously great interest in--sex: she feels opposing things at the same time.
I mean, why do you think she met Boy MC's loud declaration that she was super-cute, as she left the classroom at the start of the episode, with a forced and equally loud "Thank you"?
While Boy MC and Blue-chan are all but cardboard figures leaping headlong into get things to the co-habitation portion of the story, Red-chan is actually experiencing the reality of the story as it tries to amble into the comedic premise proper. Someone obviously needs to ground the world a bit so the hijinks can seem hijinks-y, but she's not "the lone sane person caught in a storm of insanity," which is how this kind of thing would usually go--she's a real person caught up in a world that wants to be unmoored from reality. And...that's more dissonant than it is juxtaposed.
Essentially: s*** or get off the pot, show. Either create the rules of your universe or more-or-less accept those of ours. Because you can't go a la carte. Not with this premise.
What I'm hoping is that this week was housekeeping, a necessary ("necessary") run-through of all the details and setup we'll need to accept as true for the absurdist jokes that follow to be allowed to happen. Because, if it's not, and if what follows is more of this handwave-y fence-sitting, then you guys are going to be enjoying this series without me.
Just...just like you do with other shows already. A lot.
Actually...like, a lot a lot, now that I...think about it...
All around me are familiar faces...
...
Also, if there's not a yuri plot bubbling under the surface with Purple-chan, I will be furious.
That cracked me up. Well done.
On that note, though: how long until someone tries to sucker me into watching some artsy bull**** psycho-drama by tagging me in with, "Some really big Rent-a-Girlfriend vibes" or the like?
...I can never tell if you're dropping hints or just teasing me.
AdmiralMuffin
Well-Known Member
Episode 1:
Doujin Work and Aho girl were all kinds of stupid fun and this is no exception. Never doubt the guy who made the A Cat is Fine Too doujin.
Doujin Work and Aho girl were all kinds of stupid fun and this is no exception. Never doubt the guy who made the A Cat is Fine Too doujin.
naterbug8278
Well-Known Member
YES YES YES! NOW THIS SHOW IS WHERE ITS AT. Picked this up as my usual garbage man duties to be absolutely shocked when I found golden coated trash. I was laughing my ass off for easily most of the episode and holy shit is this a strong start if I ever saw one.
My guy really came out and was like "why not both?" And full on went for it, no holding back. Mad respect to him. Something about it is kinda refreshing in a sense. We get all these "harem" or multiple love interest shows where absolutely nothing progresses, or the dude awkwardly tries to decide who to date, but here we straight up have the guy know exactly what he wanted, and flat out asked to date both. Granted it's not exactly a respectful situation to be in but it's still quite interesting a take on it, and I am 1000% down to see where this goes, especially if it keeps this level of humor up.
Also like, if there isn't a shred of Yuri vibes between these two girls at any point I will be mildly dissapointed. Maybe more than mildly.
My guy really came out and was like "why not both?" And full on went for it, no holding back. Mad respect to him. Something about it is kinda refreshing in a sense. We get all these "harem" or multiple love interest shows where absolutely nothing progresses, or the dude awkwardly tries to decide who to date, but here we straight up have the guy know exactly what he wanted, and flat out asked to date both. Granted it's not exactly a respectful situation to be in but it's still quite interesting a take on it, and I am 1000% down to see where this goes, especially if it keeps this level of humor up.
Also like, if there isn't a shred of Yuri vibes between these two girls at any point I will be mildly dissapointed. Maybe more than mildly.
Dude interregnum is here with his 10 page essays? Hell yeah, those are always a fun read.
I see we share different opinions in this case. Shame. I thought we were alike.
Honestly though Red-chans voice absolutely carried her for me, just something about it hit different.
Yeah like that childhood friend one. Why did I finish that show again?
AardvarkRex
Well-Known Member
randomredneck
Well-Known Member
He's fully open about what he wants/feels.
He already confessed before the show starts.
The show isn't treating him like a creepy perv, just an easily lovestruck doofus.
The redhead girl isn't a raving bitch like usual with shows like this.
And it appears to be positively portraying a poly relationship.
...This is like the most blue moon kind of anime I've ever seen.
He already confessed before the show starts.
The show isn't treating him like a creepy perv, just an easily lovestruck doofus.
The redhead girl isn't a raving bitch like usual with shows like this.
And it appears to be positively portraying a poly relationship.
...This is like the most blue moon kind of anime I've ever seen.
interregnum
Well-Known Member
Red-chan's already 40% of the way there, so it's all down to Blue-chan, at this point.
But this is actually something I would have preferred be part of the setup, this week: that both Boy MC and Blue-chan want the three of them to be a thing...but with Boy MC's reason being that he's stupid (did ya get that he fell for this girl--immediately--after swearing he'd love Red-chan forever? did ya get the joke???) and Blue-chan's being that she's just down for being part of an equilateral triangle.
It wouldn't solve the dozen other major issues I have with the premise, but...at this point, the only way this would make sense, to me, would be if this was specifically a show about Red-chan trying to get a grip on what she's feeling. And the most impactful way for that to happen is if she's being hit from both sides. Because, again, she shouldn't be okay with any of this.
That said...I'd be more open to where we are, right now, if they weren't suddenly living together. (Suspension bridge of disbelief and all that.)
Oh, I really like her--my favorite part of the show, thus far. And I obviously know nothing about Purple-chan. But the little we saw of her caught my attention. Because she's either going to be rrrrright up my alley...or she's going to be the boring "normal" one.
So, y'know, I'm trying to be a "waifu half full" kind of guy about it.
I'd say it was residual from a malicious hypnotist act you saw in Vegas.
Like, if I were you, that's what I'd tell people.
I know it's been awhile since I watched it, but I don't remember Gantz looking this bad.
Or being a romcom.
g3data
Well-Known Member
Last edited:
g3data
Well-Known Member
1:
I don't see how this is a raw deal for Red here. She can keep her man and has an avenue to discover her fondness of clam slamming.
That said, this schmuck of a boyfriend gets completely dabbed on by the dude from the 100 Kanojo manga, which is basically the same as this series minus the very obvious difference of 98.
That said, this schmuck of a boyfriend gets completely dabbed on by the dude from the 100 Kanojo manga, which is basically the same as this series minus the very obvious difference of 98.
G
Guest
EP 1:
This just went yabai right from the first seconds on episode 1. And then I just lost count from the amount of facepalm and cringey moments.
This just went yabai right from the first seconds on episode 1. And then I just lost count from the amount of facepalm and cringey moments.
Lenachan3ko
Well-Known Member
I just watched the first episode, and I can already tell I'll like this! I'm pretty sure I've read the first few chapters of the manga somewhere so I'm glad this is getting an anime ^^
Theshadowswinger
Active Member
This is hilariously weird. Like... This dumbness is just off the charts for me. Seriously hard to handle. I guess that's okay cuz this was just the first episode. And I guess this episode did thin out the audience. But still I think they need to pitch it down a few notches. Cuz like this almost reminds me of the time when I was halfway through watching "Gamers" and that moment when that protag confesses instead of whatever it was he meant to do... That was seriously a bit too much of "misinterpreted humour." It almost felt like hearing cat pun for all day long only to wake up to more cat puns. There has to be a point where that patience breaks. Also, I guess from the stuff laid out so far, there is eventually going to be some of SoL too. Like... Non humour SoL, (pure, cute stuff which won't be immediately shadowed by the protag's in necessary stupidity). That is something I'm looking forward to cuz apart from that I doubt they have much chance to tone down the idiocy of the concept itself. Anyway, that was a fun watch for me really. Also, Harem. So.... There was no other way for me all along. Let's see how it goes.
BrainBlow
Well-Known Member
Sounds like you need to read 100 Girlfriends, which has inter-harem yuri ships.
The series is also very similar to this one, but even wilder to a spectscular degree.
ShadowEminence
New Member
Well just watched the first episode 1 and you can already notice bits of 'aho girl' vibe , and it replicated the first chapters of the manga and the animation is also nice. Well I am happy it got its anime
Nekus
Well-Known Member
I see that once again we will disagree on Best Girl. Which is fine, we can each have our own!
On a side note, I was borderline impressed by how Purple-chan even showed up in episode 1 despite being unimportant in it. Usually characters conveniently pop into existence when they are required and act as if they have always been there. Which makes me question, was she also there in chapter 1 of the manga or did they add her in the anime? Not that it matters in any way really.
See, I noticed everything you did about her character but I just simply loved it. She's not complex, but she's put in a situation where she has impossible choices in front of her, she's surrounded by "crazy" people and is seemingly the only one that knows what society would normally say about the situation. (as you pointed out, not even her mother seems fazed by the whole deal)
So.. I'm really looking forward to her losing her mind and to see her standards of what is normal completely corrupted. Which sounds terrible and it could easily be in another show, but here I have already been assured that both the mc and Blue girl has nice people that only have her best interests in mind, so I can just enjoy the ride and not worry about her safety.
If instead of her we got a standard tsundere or a boring agreeable childhood friends, this show would not have worked for me.
takes notes
Madoka
Silver Supporter
5/5 - would opt for a three-some myself if there is any takers... no? fair enough, can't blame a guy for trying..
Oh talking of trying, this MC is... dare i say, funny? Lets read on (or don't!).
So yeah the mc is great, he was actually funny, like okay i had some hopes reading some of the above that it is the same author as Aho-girl and the shows synopsis sounded so random that i just couldn't turn it down and it only merged well.
MC just off the bat is funny, he says what he thinks and honestly, dude has some balls on him (rare one says this about the MC). To even begin to ask your girlfriend if you can date another is one thing but he never steps one foot forward, nope, this guy leaps of cliffs in hopes to land in watery thickets as he proceeds to ask them both to live with him, then suggest a three-way... I wanna say i was shocked but i was too busy laughing, it was great!
Ahem, that aside.
So the idea of the show is stupid, which is why it works so well. Comedy can certainly be pure stupid, if anything, its much harder to make stupid comedy without it feeling dumb over funny. Anyway, so the idea of the setup is dumb, no girl (or guy) is ever likely to accept these terms, especially as they aren't farm into their relationship but i wont judge, i actually enjoyed the scene as red questions just what is wrong with his head to even suggest this so much that i would forgive everything!
The girls. I like red, sorry. Purple was interesting actually, i figured she was the cute and more quieter type initially which is fine as they usually appeal rather well with me but red is just great, her reactions was spot on brilliant and heck, i just loved her replies, reactions and in generation, everything she said and did, so red leads the starting line. Not to say purple fell short, she was interestingly bold, agreeing to such a dumb plan with some weirdly warped but equally truthful logic of "he wont dump you for me so i will always be rejected", she isn't wrong but this mentality is wrong but then again... she agreed to this so it was much more interesting than "I will win you one day" we normally have. She was equally bold in the bath, she wants sexy time and she knows it!!!
Ahem, so yeah, fun first episode, i actually was cataleptic of if this would be good, i watched it due to it sounded pretty dumb (in a fun way) and i liked the art... and c'mon, dudes living our fantasy here! Regardless, it was pretty fun for a first episode, and reading above, it seems like this is likely the general theme of the show so it should be worth sticking around for.
MC just off the bat is funny, he says what he thinks and honestly, dude has some balls on him (rare one says this about the MC). To even begin to ask your girlfriend if you can date another is one thing but he never steps one foot forward, nope, this guy leaps of cliffs in hopes to land in watery thickets as he proceeds to ask them both to live with him, then suggest a three-way... I wanna say i was shocked but i was too busy laughing, it was great!
Ahem, that aside.
So the idea of the show is stupid, which is why it works so well. Comedy can certainly be pure stupid, if anything, its much harder to make stupid comedy without it feeling dumb over funny. Anyway, so the idea of the setup is dumb, no girl (or guy) is ever likely to accept these terms, especially as they aren't farm into their relationship but i wont judge, i actually enjoyed the scene as red questions just what is wrong with his head to even suggest this so much that i would forgive everything!
The girls. I like red, sorry. Purple was interesting actually, i figured she was the cute and more quieter type initially which is fine as they usually appeal rather well with me but red is just great, her reactions was spot on brilliant and heck, i just loved her replies, reactions and in generation, everything she said and did, so red leads the starting line. Not to say purple fell short, she was interestingly bold, agreeing to such a dumb plan with some weirdly warped but equally truthful logic of "he wont dump you for me so i will always be rejected", she isn't wrong but this mentality is wrong but then again... she agreed to this so it was much more interesting than "I will win you one day" we normally have. She was equally bold in the bath, she wants sexy time and she knows it!!!
Ahem, so yeah, fun first episode, i actually was cataleptic of if this would be good, i watched it due to it sounded pretty dumb (in a fun way) and i liked the art... and c'mon, dudes living our fantasy here! Regardless, it was pretty fun for a first episode, and reading above, it seems like this is likely the general theme of the show so it should be worth sticking around for.
I'm late so i wont go crazy on replies but a few i can't miss
#TeamRedGirl unite!!!
Not gonna lie, i literally was thinking of responding with these exact words, it seems you have no failed me oh wise-one.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the service you offer to this world, you might not realise it but you bless us with such holy posts as this one! I errr... I... I'm gonna read this now, okay?
A fun mess!
I will give you this one, I mean okay, i admit i didn't take this too seriously but yeah this would be very unlikely to ever happen, that or i clearly courted the wrong girls (or the right ones?).... it wasn't stalking!!! I swear!
I will stay on my serious mode, I do agree here too. I was shocked to see it move so fast into this story (the synopsis is pretty direct what is happening so it was a matter of "when" not "if"), i expected a episode of solidifying Red and MC's relationship so seeing Purple so soon was odd. That aside, we get a quick history to MC's past of endless confessions to Red who eventually accepts, she is obviously happy, despite his ahem, ways, she clearly wasn't upset by his behaviour in class and has no issues with people knowing they are joined at the hips in their relationship. So seeing what is essentially a happy girl having her crush/more fulfilled and enjoying her first romance crushed down to this question... boy this would sting. I honestly would of ditched him if i was her... though this isn't saying much as the guy who wishes he was this dude.
Now i can look beyond this for 3 reasons:
1) It's a comedy, this isn't a excuse for the show of course but i get it's trying to make light hearted humour over a serious romance development. This again isn't a excuse but it means i take the show less seriously and take it for what it is (within reason).
2) Its a setup for the plot. The summary clearly tells us this guy has 4 girls on the go at once, Again i wont say this justifies skipping plot points but it is something i can turn a blind eye to if its just to get things moving.
3) I want the girls to go yuri...
I feel #3 is the most important there though.
Thankfully, i knew you would understand and be way ahead of me in wanting this! I swear after that bath, these 2 ladies are on their way! I mean red said (likely in jest) she would go out with her, she admits she is feeling weirdly about her after the bath, I'm just saying, this is a perfect 3 - way, he lives the dream of having a girl in each hand as the girls use their 2nd hand to hold onto one another, truly forming a triangle and amazing bisexual relationships... bliss!
I actually want her to remain the "straight man" of the group who tries to associate their setup as strange or weird despite she will always fail! Its not i want to see her setup to be righteous and still defeated but... it's kind of similar, i want her to be the one who is normal yet i want her to keep giving into corruption... and by this i mean she is totally hooking up with purple girl.
The violent type don't normally (if ever) sit well on my ranking yet her punch was oddly enjoyable for me... so i wont oppose to that, well that and after she realises she just took "sexy time" off the table indefinitely, she hangs her head, dejected! - this was fun for me, mostly because the normal lewd hand holding is just about enough romance for most shows so seeing her admit they haven't done anything yet and seem so pure about it to quickly seem so dejected after she realises she just removed her sexy times for good... damn Red-chan is off to a great start!
Gens
Database Moderator
interregnum
Well-Known Member
I mean...it's not an impossible situation, though. The big, obvious possibility is to say NO--wherein Boy MC has to choose to be with either Red or Blue, or where Red has to decide that she's out, if he won't make a choice.
That's not terribly interesting, of course, so Red-chan attempts to roll with the ludicrous "let's do an innocent harem anime thing!" for reasons that the show (sort of) tries to explain. And the (sort-of) explanation is genuinely grounded and serious and therefore at odds with not just the utter buffoonery of Boy MC but the tone he sets--and which Blue-chan amplifies--for the situation.
Again, all of this might adjust to something more palatable (gosh, that sounds harsher than I mean it to) as we get into the next episode, but...as it stands with only this one to go by, I just can't get behind what seems to want to be both a sendup and a deconstruction in the same space.
Heh, which is the problem, right? I can't get over how serious the Red-chan stuff is. It's too grounded for what the rest of the first episode is about. Which is why I'm taking it more seriously than (I assume) the show needed me to.
Ironically, that they tried to justify why an un-ridiculous person would accept such a ridiculous situation is what's making it hard for me to accept it.
I've been running a dozen ways this could have played out that I think would solve my issues with the first episode, and I'm starting to think the idea for the equilateral triangle should have been Red-chan's. Like, she should have tried to call their bluff by saying "if you're gonna date him, then you'll have to date me too," and then she'd have to live with the unexpected consequences from them thinking that idea was great. It keeps the tone absurd but also keeps Red-chan's emotional struggle grounded.
And then we'd get a double-whammy version of the "no sex in the champagne room" rule, because you could have Red-chan eventually coming around on her feelings enough to be excited at the prospect of being able to sexytime with both a dude and a chick, only to have Boy MC drop the "and of course we'll all remain celibate--after all, we're not adults yet!" and cut the legs out from under her yet again.
And then we'd get a double-whammy version of the "no sex in the champagne room" rule, because you could have Red-chan eventually coming around on her feelings enough to be excited at the prospect of being able to sexytime with both a dude and a chick, only to have Boy MC drop the "and of course we'll all remain celibate--after all, we're not adults yet!" and cut the legs out from under her yet again.
S-She knows about my secret crush on Natalie Dormer? How does--is it a coincidence? Or...is this the red string of fate? Or, okay, maybe a burgundy string of mock-destiny? Is there such a thing as tease-soul mates?