nathandouglasdavis's avatar


  • Joined Feb 23, 2019
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I really like the way the main character's eyes took up half feir face, which is weird because I often don't enjoy that type of thing. I like the pink shading, and the general skill in portraying abstract concepts through art. More than the actual events, this manga is a reflection on the various internal thoughts and subconscious hang-ups the author goes through during feir journey toward a more mentally stable life (this story is autobiographical). I appreciate feir self-reflection and ability to pinpoint some of feir attitudes and thought processes that led to eating disorders, self-harm, lethargy, and so on. Fe was constantly critical of femself and felt that since fe wasn't living properly, fe didn't have a right to eat certain types of things. Fe wanted to please feir parents and never felt affirmed by them. Fe talks about searching for that sweet nectar of having someplace to belong in life. Fe talks about how fe often felt a yearning to be touched, hugged, and how this might be related to latent sexual impulses toward feir mother. Fe talks about how being a BL-reading fujoshi with an inadequate sex education had warped feir understanding of sexualtiy and human anatomy and how years of minimal human interaction made fem unable to let feir walls down to enjoy sex.

One of feir epiphanies concerns identity and the realization that fe has been suppressing feir "real" self. Personally, I don't think such a thing exists, but if processing conflicting priorities by using that concept helped fem find some mental stability then who am I to say it's a bad concept to hold. But at the same time, we've consistently seen fem having extended periods where fe feels affirmed and happy, only to have the pressure slowly build up until fe breaks down again. So even though the story ends with fem on a high note, acting like fe's discovered some secret to mental stability, I can't help but feel that fe'll eventually succumb to anxiety and self-consciousness and enter into a depressed state again. Obviously, fe's a real person, so it'd be nice if that didn't happen. Give us a happy ending, real life!

6/10 story
10/10 art
9/10 characters
8/10 overall

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Shampoliny Dec 30, 2020

Damn dude, i see you everywhere i go. Soon im gona see you in my dreams to