lonesojourner

(SPOILERS BELOW)

I normally don't do reviews, but Hate Mate got me so frustrated I needed somewhere to vent. So.

Let's talk about the good things first, shall we? The biggest praise Hate Mate earns online is for its realism -- and it has that down pat. The characters all feel like people you could know. The storyline feels like something that could happen. Hate Mate captures the confusion of your early 20s in all its messy glory; that awkward phase where you're expected to have things figured out except you haven't yet, your relationships caught somewhere between your changing ideals and the still childish ways you go about them.

When we talk about coming-of-age stories, we like to depict middle schoolers, high schoolers, university students. People nearing their mid-20s are already adults, or so we would like to believe. Reality is unkind, however. A ticket to adulthood doesn't automatically grant you the wisdom and maturity you need to maneuver it. Our leads, Hyunwoo and Subin, are stellar examples of this. Half of the conflict in Hate Mate comes from their inability to deal with their feelings without being immature or recklessly self-centered about it.

And that brings us to the biggest drawback of Hate Mate. Hyunwoo and Subin are two messed-up peas in a pod. People like to make out Subin to be the victim and Hyunwoo to be the asshole, but as far as I'm concerned, neither is better than the other. Both push their own desires on each other to the point of being toxic. In an ideal world, the two of them would learn to grow together and get past their difficulties -- but Hate Mate, much like reality, isn't that kind. During a particularly messy interim of miscommunication, the rift between them finally grows beyond recovery. Subin winds up with somebody else and Hyunwoo misses his chance. As he deserves, like many other readers have noted.

Which would be all fine, if it hadn't been for the extras. To be honest, even up to their final scene in the main story, I always felt that Hyunwoo and Subin had a stronger connection than Subin and Kang Jun, for reasons Jun himself canonically pointed out. They've built a deeper bond over a longer time; they have more things in common; for all their push-and-pull, it takes a lot to truly break them apart. Hell, they're still hanging out like old friends even after all they've been through at the end of the main story.

In comparison, Jun and Subin came together haphazardly, falling in love before they even really knew each other. I've seen people blame Hyunwoo for Jun's insecurities in the finale, but he himself is wondering if he's truly jealous or if it's just a sign of things getting stale. He and Subin can barely have a conversation without fighting -- and that was a problem before Hyunwoo pulled his last stunt.

But even that can be seen as a part of growth, I guess. You're never done growing even after coming of age, and a relationship doesn't always follow a clear trajectory. The two people who seem to fit the best don't always make it in the end. That's just how reality works. Personally, though, it just leaves me conflicted; I was never sold on Jun's and Subin's relationship as more than a replacement for what Hyunwoo and Subin could've had, and the extras really nail in that impression for me. At the end, Hyunwoo and Subin still come out as the ones with the stronger connection, who can forgive but not really forget the marks they've left on each other.

Yes, yes, realism is a breath of fresh air in a genre otherwise full of overidealistic HEAs, but idk. If I wanted to look at meant-to-bes-that-are-now-could've-beens and "I-settled-and-I-guess-it-was-for-the-better" relationships, I could just look around me. Too much realism can also be frustrating sometimes, especially when all these characters really feel like people I could have known irl. The exasperated redhead friend is the most relatable person in this story, honestly. 

TL;DR - Realism is all and good, but not when the main characters feel like those two friends you kind of root for but also want to strangle every time they call you to vent about their problems. (Especially when they don't even wind up together.)

Regardless of my frustrations with this manhwa, though, I have to acknowledge that parts of it were still beautifully written. Special props to this line:

"It feels like I'm playing out the clock, unable to get ahold of my emotions, but it's all just fine. Just like all relationships are. Because you're here with me, right now... and I've decided to love you until I can't."