It's the holiday season a time for good cheer, joy, fatty food and all that crap. If you're anything like me then you enjoy everything about the holiday traditions except for those pesky loved ones that always want to spend time with you. Well, rejoice anime fans! Because Japan has delivered Sekai De Ichiban, an anime perfect for alienating those annoying loved ones and ensuring they won't want to be in the same room with you.
Sekai De Ichiban may have a grand name that would suggest an epic nature, but in reality its a yuri porno for those that don't actually want to deal with nudity, sex or women that aren't strange and lumpy. Just like a porn movie the plot is paper thin and just an excuse to get to the sex or in the case of Sekai De Ichiban scantily clad women insulting the sport of wrestling. Forget the excitement of thrilling wrestling matches, instead watch women sitting on top of each other moaning and groaning in pain for scenes that drag on for far too long. If that's not enough to entice you then maybe the thought of seeing the exact same crotch and ass shots repeated a few hundred times with start to get your blood boiling all while they scream in orgasmic agony. All of this set to the roaring cheers of hundreds of male wrestling fans rendered in eye bleedingly CGI.
If the plot isn't enough of an appeal then the characters should seal the deal. When they're not moaning or screaming in pain, they're having super serious conversations about respecting wrestling all the while demeaning the entire sport with the actual matches. None of the characters are particular memorable for anything more than how grating their moaning is. The lead character Sakura, a pop idol that turned to wrestling for stupid reasons gets the longest matches and moans louder and longer than any of the other characters.
The animation is appallingly cheap with no attempt to even cover how often they reuse the exact some shot over and over again. This is an ecchi anime that is too cheap to even animate the weird boob jiggles of the balloon chested cast, instead the no matter how hard the characters get knocked around their boobs stay hanging in same position as if they are above the laws of gravity. Even by the very low standards of ecchi anime, the animation is Sekai de Ichiban is shoddy and cheap to the extreme. The character models don't fair much better with the exception of one fat wrestler, most of the women look like a stick with a pair of balloons nailed to their chest. Yes, the anime was even too cheap to design more than one body type for the majority of its cast.
It's the sound that's the icing on this shit cake though. The music is completely forgettable and even the sounds of wrestling matches are dull and generic sounding, but the voice acting will haunt you in your sleep. The characters are constantly spouting the tired inspirational lines with as much enthusiasm as their voice actors can muster, but it's not until they are in the ring that the voice actors really get to shine. I'm sure that everyone in this cast called home proud to report that they got to spend twenty minutes recording various grunts, moans, screams and pleas for mercy, all with the director shouting at them "No! MAKE IT SOUND MORE SEXUAL!" It's hard to adequately describe how bad this aspect of the anime is; just trying to imagine a cat in heat while also badly in pain.
So this holiday season turn those speakers up to maximum, turn your monitor to face the door and never worry again about those pesky loved ones trying to invade your personal space. Sure, you'll probably hate yourself for watching it afterwards, but a little self-loathing is worth the price for some peace and quiet.