Hahahahah, duh, yes of course I'm talking about a Silent voice! xD what other flawless anime movie is there? I perfectly agree, I'd marry her myself if she existed OMG i sound so stereotypically otaku (like those dudes that don't change their clothes, collect figurines and hug waifu pillows at night and despise 3D girls xDDDD) You wanna know what's funny? I didn't delete it. Remember when you asked if I'd shown it to anyone else, and I said no, you're the only one who can see it, and you said great, let's kkep it that way? It's protected by link: the only way to reach it is if you've been passed the link :) so yeah, it's still up (I confess I checked the viewcount every couple months or so, wondering if you still dropped in from time to time). But now we're on that subject, yeah, I was super disappointed you'd disappeared again. I respected your distance though, until quite a long time later. I'd been forewarned you tested people thus, staying away to see if they stayed true to their attatchment. (later on I might let you peek in on something I wrote on the matter, if you're good xD) I'll pass you the link privately, if you still want it. I'd sing the watered-down version for you now (of the song I haven't named yet) but it's almost 5am and pouring and I'm in pj's and a mess lmao~ without mentioning my mum, who I don't wish to wake, lest I die in the intent (she's very adamant on respecting her sleep) Yes, I trust you. Haven't you noticed by now? I don't get anywhere near the things I discuss with you on a daily basis with my friends over here. My best friends seldom see that side to me, I'm mainly goofy and wild around them, I kinda put up a show and provide entertainment for them, role which I'm confortable with and happy to partake for their sake. Should definitely get sleep now xD I've got a lot on my plate tomorrow...early in the morning... *sigh* Really needed to get that off my chest though, it's been weighing for some time (and you might not have heard the entirety of it yet, sorry bout that ^^") ... okay I'll sing it really softly but promise me you'll let me study the lyrics and second voice later for a remake xD I'm very demanding of my performance :P and then sleep dammit *uploads video*
That was fucking amazing. I died and cried furiously (like, my face hurt, literally). Fgljfdljldkj that was the best anime movie I've ever seen- shit, best movie period I've seen all year. How did I not watch this before? That was so powerful, I know what you meant now. Jesus. That was so beautiful, I could cry all over again. Everything about it was perfect, flawless, mind-blowingly fantastic. I'm hooked xD Definitely gonna rewatch, don't wanna spoil it too soon though (I did that with Your Lie In April, and regret it painfully). What a way to ruin me forever. As for the other thing, first of all I agree to disagree on the fakeness thing. I mean, there's fake people everywhere but I totally expressed myself carelessly. I wanted to reflect how passionate, troubled and complex porteños (bonaerenses) are, and how, despite that, they have such a sense of family and solidarity towards each other that's uncommon, well, much anywhere else; it's a double-edged sword, the charisma thing. It's the main reason I was alienated in the beginning, and alienized as well. It knits porteños together in a way that leaves others out, those whom don't quite understand the social mechanisms and mannerisms. Take humor for example: a component of this city's humor derives from comparisons and satyre between insiders and outsiders of any given group of people, be it differences in political, sports, ideological, social class affiliation, etcetera. Wow, so weird but I've never put this feeling into words before, that's why I might not be making much sense. But I've come to have a deep understandment of this net for the reasons I've told you (bullying, etc). To be absolutely clear: buenos aires is usually divided in two: Bosteros vs Gallinas (Boca, River Plate, extreme violence between both sides during football events), Peronistas vs "Oligarcas"/Macristas/Conservadores (Right vs Left politics, great violence and eternal dispute between each division, even between families), eternal dislike between high class and low class (middle class being hypocritical in its manifestos). I can see how I'm probably confusing you, but the presence of so many polarities is what makes the bond so much stronger when it exists. It creates a stronger "us" in the midst of, sometimes virtual, "them". Ugh, that paragraph probably bored you to death, sorry ^^" What you say about you and I being opposites is only half true.. I grew to be extremely distrustful of people's intentions when they approached me. I'd been mocked so many times, not understanding the joke I was being subjected to. This made me extremely caution, awkward and isolated. This, on top of my pre-existing distrust of men (certain things I don't talk to anyone about regarding my father) made existance very bleak for me for quite some time. I'd say the worst of it was during the 4 years I went to a particularly hostile school, from age 12 to the year I turned 16. This period taught me the feeling of hell on earth, of extreme loneliness, of the darkness humans are capable of subjecting other humans to. So basically, we were very alike, you and I, at one point. Then I changed schools, dreading the worst (I'd already unsuccessfully attended 4 other schools throughout my academic life). And that's where I met the most beautiful group of friends I'd never had. Let's say that the former social hell had taught me the ropes as to expectations, proper conduct and what's considered "normal". So that helped in the next stage of my life (wasn't perfect of course, I still had trouble fitting in, but it was the first time my group of "friends" wasn't the author of my own torture, rather the hand that picked me up when I fell flat on my face, that pushed me into doing the things I was afraid of, that held me in my darkest moments (losing my "adoptive" father, my beloved great-grandmother, my incessant conflicts with my disturbed mother)... My ability to love, to trust, to keep fighting until I prevailed, these are things I chose. I chose to become stronger and not let me experiences torment me, turn me into something dark, distant, self-pitying, etc. Hey, it took time man, I'm not gonna lie. But I eventually found that life could be good again, like when I was a child. Never easy, but so worth it though. And bro, I'm no saint. Never assume that of a person, you don't know the demons they're carrying around under their skin. Btw I'm confident that you'll eventually find that you can make your own happiness, reaching out of yourself, opening your eyes and heart to the things you might consider meaningless, hypocrytical, superficial, vain. My secret is humor. I've got a really weird humor, with such a wide range (sometimes innapropriate lol, lots of times xD). I hated certain aspects of myself, my pride, my self-righteousness, my vanity (talent-wise, and intellect-wise, not physical), my inherent distrust, my awkwardness and social inadequacy. So I kinda embraced them, accepted 'em and progressively taught myself other sets of skills to weigh the other shit out. Didn't work for most of my life, but I learned to be happy somehow. I now consider myself to be perfectly talented at finding my own happiness c: "because my worst enemy is myself, I am the only one that gets me down" so true man, so true. You know what I'm gonna say now, right? xD That you're missing the second part of that phrase: you're your best ally, you're the only one that can pull yourself out of your own mess. (Sorry for how long this is getting, and how condescending/patronizing it might sound. I just really feel you've never had anyone to tell you these things. Btw I can't believe how that bus thing excalated so quickly and so out of control. As for the other thing, the clinginess and what she probably finds interesting about you is the complete frankness you have in your approach to all the things we've talked about, that you've probably talked to her about as well. You're direct, open, sincere and don't beat around the bush. You're really freaking smart, can talk about anything and have an opinion about it, don't shy away from your own problems, from reaching out to others and interpreting and analysing theirs and your own. You don't make light of the shit you go through, you respect and understand pain. You're basically awesome, and awesome to talk to, and humble about it too, though you say you're selfish, gloomy and arrogant, and whatever else. I'd say give yourself some credit now and again xD I've stuck around, haven't I? Don't dismiss virtual friendship like its some kind of alien thing, that you're not worthy of or incabable of. I think of you as my friend, I insist you count on me as one as well c: "And enjoy you for who you are coz your a very pure hearted down to earth lass! 😊🤗" Thanks for that o//v//o~*
Actually, I correct my former relaying of my social surroundings. That was quite unrealistic and unfair to my awful childhood, tween, and adolescent experiences: I suffered a great deal of bullying for various reasons (I seem to recall mentioning this to you before, though I couldn't pinpoint it 'cause you deleted my rambles lol) and just cause my young adult life has gone smoothly this year doesn't mean the rest didn't exist. I admit I sorta wrote that without much forethought. The reason my relationship with society and my intimates goes so smoothly is thanks to myself, not to my social context. I've progressively developed a strong sense of self-worth, confidence and multi-purpose mental defense mechanism in response to the lack of all three, due to being goofy, trusting, innocent, random/weird and naïve my whole youth. I chose to ignore and forget awful people, and my latest experiences lead me to be disloyal to my past suffering. Things are good now thanks to myself, not the other way around. Just wanted you to know that~ (I could talk hours about this)
Lol alrightie~ xD when you put it like that, okay so wednesday it is c: glad to be one of the few you'd stream for~
I took Lea out running with me for the first time (my mum had to be the one to tell me my baby was fat TvT I guess I spoil her with food too much) and she either couldn't or wouldn't keep up xD And we have a bike lane here, it's always quite crowded with bikers and she kept on going straight for it (she's not too bright I'm afraid, though of unparalelled cuteness in my eyes lol) so my run was quite as unsuccessful as your walk.
As for watching anime alongside other ppl, my only other anime-watching friend has moved to Spain last year, so that's not gonna happen 😁 And he and I didn't really watch together when he still lived here. Dunno about you, but in comparison to other types of hobbies I'm rather private about my otaku tendencies. My group of friends, my family, other acquaintances.. it's not usual for people to watch anime here (is it in your society?) But if I did watch it with someone else, what you're saying probably wouldn't be the case. I'm very particular about whom I befriend, and my group of gf's and I are super straight-forward and natural about everything. It's who we are together.💕 (i love them so much xD)
I've missed our rants, if you recall I kinda wrote an essay/ alegory in response to that mask theory of yours, though I've definitely evolved since then somehow. I'd have to reread my blog to say exactly how tho.
I get the feeling you haven't met very nice people in your life, 'cause if you and I hung out with my friends here, you'd probably feel differently about human society, as I do. There are tons of nasty people everywhere, but if there's something I love about Buenos Aires and other latin countries, its people are much more open about their feelings and thoughts, and relationships flow more naturally than in western and continental-european societies where people are more distant, colder. For example: bus, supermarket, street conversations are always likely to happen, people look into eachother's eyes in the street, we kiss eachothers cheek in salute, whether we know the other person or we're just meeting for the first time, even if they're your new doctor or maid. See where I'm going with this? xD your relaying of Aberdeen's society is rather crass, and tending toward malice in my interpretation. Have you ever traveled to other countries?
On another note, I'm super enticed by your streaming idea, no worries. Definitely would let you know if I wasn't c;
Shall be watching castlevania on netflix as soon as I've binged on silent voices~
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Hahahahah, duh, yes of course I'm talking about a Silent voice! xD what other flawless anime movie is there? I perfectly agree, I'd marry her myself if she existed OMG i sound so stereotypically otaku (like those dudes that don't change their clothes, collect figurines and hug waifu pillows at night and despise 3D girls xDDDD)
You wanna know what's funny? I didn't delete it. Remember when you asked if I'd shown it to anyone else, and I said no, you're the only one who can see it, and you said great, let's kkep it that way? It's protected by link: the only way to reach it is if you've been passed the link :) so yeah, it's still up (I confess I checked the viewcount every couple months or so, wondering if you still dropped in from time to time). But now we're on that subject, yeah, I was super disappointed you'd disappeared again. I respected your distance though, until quite a long time later. I'd been forewarned you tested people thus, staying away to see if they stayed true to their attatchment. (later on I might let you peek in on something I wrote on the matter, if you're good xD) I'll pass you the link privately, if you still want it.
I'd sing the watered-down version for you now (of the song I haven't named yet) but it's almost 5am and pouring and I'm in pj's and a mess lmao~ without mentioning my mum, who I don't wish to wake, lest I die in the intent (she's very adamant on respecting her sleep)
Yes, I trust you. Haven't you noticed by now? I don't get anywhere near the things I discuss with you on a daily basis with my friends over here. My best friends seldom see that side to me, I'm mainly goofy and wild around them, I kinda put up a show and provide entertainment for them, role which I'm confortable with and happy to partake for their sake.
Should definitely get sleep now xD I've got a lot on my plate tomorrow...early in the morning... *sigh*
Really needed to get that off my chest though, it's been weighing for some time (and you might not have heard the entirety of it yet, sorry bout that ^^")
... okay I'll sing it really softly but promise me you'll let me study the lyrics and second voice later for a remake xD I'm very demanding of my performance :P
and then sleep dammit *uploads video*
PS: Risking sounding a bit weird, I'd like to sing something for you sometime c: A song in particular~
Lemme know if that's just too weird xDDD
That was fucking amazing. I died and cried furiously (like, my face hurt, literally). Fgljfdljldkj that was the best anime movie I've ever seen- shit, best movie period I've seen all year. How did I not watch this before? That was so powerful, I know what you meant now. Jesus. That was so beautiful, I could cry all over again. Everything about it was perfect, flawless, mind-blowingly fantastic. I'm hooked xD Definitely gonna rewatch, don't wanna spoil it too soon though (I did that with Your Lie In April, and regret it painfully). What a way to ruin me forever.
As for the other thing, first of all I agree to disagree on the fakeness thing. I mean, there's fake people everywhere but I totally expressed myself carelessly. I wanted to reflect how passionate, troubled and complex porteños (bonaerenses) are, and how, despite that, they have such a sense of family and solidarity towards each other that's uncommon, well, much anywhere else; it's a double-edged sword, the charisma thing. It's the main reason I was alienated in the beginning, and alienized as well. It knits porteños together in a way that leaves others out, those whom don't quite understand the social mechanisms and mannerisms. Take humor for example: a component of this city's humor derives from comparisons and satyre between insiders and outsiders of any given group of people, be it differences in political, sports, ideological, social class affiliation, etcetera. Wow, so weird but I've never put this feeling into words before, that's why I might not be making much sense. But I've come to have a deep understandment of this net for the reasons I've told you (bullying, etc). To be absolutely clear: buenos aires is usually divided in two: Bosteros vs Gallinas (Boca, River Plate, extreme violence between both sides during football events), Peronistas vs "Oligarcas"/Macristas/Conservadores (Right vs Left politics, great violence and eternal dispute between each division, even between families), eternal dislike between high class and low class (middle class being hypocritical in its manifestos).
I can see how I'm probably confusing you, but the presence of so many polarities is what makes the bond so much stronger when it exists. It creates a stronger "us" in the midst of, sometimes virtual, "them". Ugh, that paragraph probably bored you to death, sorry ^^"
What you say about you and I being opposites is only half true.. I grew to be extremely distrustful of people's intentions when they approached me. I'd been mocked so many times, not understanding the joke I was being subjected to. This made me extremely caution, awkward and isolated. This, on top of my pre-existing distrust of men (certain things I don't talk to anyone about regarding my father) made existance very bleak for me for quite some time. I'd say the worst of it was during the 4 years I went to a particularly hostile school, from age 12 to the year I turned 16. This period taught me the feeling of hell on earth, of extreme loneliness, of the darkness humans are capable of subjecting other humans to.
So basically, we were very alike, you and I, at one point. Then I changed schools, dreading the worst (I'd already unsuccessfully attended 4 other schools throughout my academic life). And that's where I met the most beautiful group of friends I'd never had. Let's say that the former social hell had taught me the ropes as to expectations, proper conduct and what's considered "normal". So that helped in the next stage of my life (wasn't perfect of course, I still had trouble fitting in, but it was the first time my group of "friends" wasn't the author of my own torture, rather the hand that picked me up when I fell flat on my face, that pushed me into doing the things I was afraid of, that held me in my darkest moments (losing my "adoptive" father, my beloved great-grandmother, my incessant conflicts with my disturbed mother)... My ability to love, to trust, to keep fighting until I prevailed, these are things I chose. I chose to become stronger and not let me experiences torment me, turn me into something dark, distant, self-pitying, etc. Hey, it took time man, I'm not gonna lie. But I eventually found that life could be good again, like when I was a child. Never easy, but so worth it though. And bro, I'm no saint. Never assume that of a person, you don't know the demons they're carrying around under their skin.
Btw I'm confident that you'll eventually find that you can make your own happiness, reaching out of yourself, opening your eyes and heart to the things you might consider meaningless, hypocrytical, superficial, vain. My secret is humor. I've got a really weird humor, with such a wide range (sometimes innapropriate lol, lots of times xD). I hated certain aspects of myself, my pride, my self-righteousness, my vanity (talent-wise, and intellect-wise, not physical), my inherent distrust, my awkwardness and social inadequacy. So I kinda embraced them, accepted 'em and progressively taught myself other sets of skills to weigh the other shit out. Didn't work for most of my life, but I learned to be happy somehow. I now consider myself to be perfectly talented at finding my own happiness c:
"because my worst enemy is myself, I am the only one that gets me down" so true man, so true. You know what I'm gonna say now, right? xD That you're missing the second part of that phrase: you're your best ally, you're the only one that can pull yourself out of your own mess. (Sorry for how long this is getting, and how condescending/patronizing it might sound. I just really feel you've never had anyone to tell you these things.
Btw I can't believe how that bus thing excalated so quickly and so out of control. As for the other thing, the clinginess and what she probably finds interesting about you is the complete frankness you have in your approach to all the things we've talked about, that you've probably talked to her about as well. You're direct, open, sincere and don't beat around the bush. You're really freaking smart, can talk about anything and have an opinion about it, don't shy away from your own problems, from reaching out to others and interpreting and analysing theirs and your own. You don't make light of the shit you go through, you respect and understand pain. You're basically awesome, and awesome to talk to, and humble about it too, though you say you're selfish, gloomy and arrogant, and whatever else. I'd say give yourself some credit now and again xD I've stuck around, haven't I? Don't dismiss virtual friendship like its some kind of alien thing, that you're not worthy of or incabable of. I think of you as my friend, I insist you count on me as one as well c:
"And enjoy you for who you are coz your a very pure hearted down to earth lass! 😊🤗" Thanks for that o//v//o~*
Actually, I correct my former relaying of my social surroundings. That was quite unrealistic and unfair to my awful childhood, tween, and adolescent experiences:
I suffered a great deal of bullying for various reasons (I seem to recall mentioning this to you before, though I couldn't pinpoint it 'cause you deleted my rambles lol) and just cause my young adult life has gone smoothly this year doesn't mean the rest didn't exist. I admit I sorta wrote that without much forethought. The reason my relationship with society and my intimates goes so smoothly is thanks to myself, not to my social context. I've progressively developed a strong sense of self-worth, confidence and multi-purpose mental defense mechanism in response to the lack of all three, due to being goofy, trusting, innocent, random/weird and naïve my whole youth. I chose to ignore and forget awful people, and my latest experiences lead me to be disloyal to my past suffering. Things are good now thanks to myself, not the other way around. Just wanted you to know that~ (I could talk hours about this)
Lol alrightie~ xD when you put it like that, okay so wednesday it is c: glad to be one of the few you'd stream for~
I took Lea out running with me for the first time (my mum had to be the one to tell me my baby was fat TvT I guess I spoil her with food too much) and she either couldn't or wouldn't keep up xD And we have a bike lane here, it's always quite crowded with bikers and she kept on going straight for it (she's not too bright I'm afraid, though of unparalelled cuteness in my eyes lol) so my run was quite as unsuccessful as your walk.
As for watching anime alongside other ppl, my only other anime-watching friend has moved to Spain last year, so that's not gonna happen 😁 And he and I didn't really watch together when he still lived here. Dunno about you, but in comparison to other types of hobbies I'm rather private about my otaku tendencies. My group of friends, my family, other acquaintances.. it's not usual for people to watch anime here (is it in your society?) But if I did watch it with someone else, what you're saying probably wouldn't be the case. I'm very particular about whom I befriend, and my group of gf's and I are super straight-forward and natural about everything. It's who we are together.💕 (i love them so much xD)
I've missed our rants, if you recall I kinda wrote an essay/ alegory in response to that mask theory of yours, though I've definitely evolved since then somehow. I'd have to reread my blog to say exactly how tho.
I get the feeling you haven't met very nice people in your life, 'cause if you and I hung out with my friends here, you'd probably feel differently about human society, as I do. There are tons of nasty people everywhere, but if there's something I love about Buenos Aires and other latin countries, its people are much more open about their feelings and thoughts, and relationships flow more naturally than in western and continental-european societies where people are more distant, colder. For example: bus, supermarket, street conversations are always likely to happen, people look into eachother's eyes in the street, we kiss eachothers cheek in salute, whether we know the other person or we're just meeting for the first time, even if they're your new doctor or maid. See where I'm going with this? xD your relaying of Aberdeen's society is rather crass, and tending toward malice in my interpretation. Have you ever traveled to other countries?
On another note, I'm super enticed by your streaming idea, no worries. Definitely would let you know if I wasn't c;
Shall be watching castlevania on netflix as soon as I've binged on silent voices~