Risa92's avatar


  • Vienna
  • Joined Nov 7, 2018
  • 31 / O


I like to talk to people online, but I rarely reply regularly (or sometimes I do, sometimes I don't) and don't have really lot of actual friends I made online nowadays. Sorry, I just don't have the time and energy for actual online friendships anymore.
It's nothing personal against you, if I don't reply for some time / regularly.



Love fiction (all kind of fiction; mostly anime, but I also like reading sometimes, watching live action series and movies and sometimes other stuff like videogames or creepypastas etc.), writing, DnD and other pen and paper games
In general I love dark fantasy and horror media, including creepypastas, urban legends and SCPs.


I'm also a weird, queer existence ... and my obsessed ass decided when I've been a kid I will have a lifelong obsession with fictional media, specifically anime and manga. And Pokemon, and uhm biology and dinosaurs, I guess. So, here I am, because my weird mind once said I'm obsessed with drawings. Actual footage of me as a kid.
I studied biology and changed subjects now to computer science and medical computer science.


(Information, if your are here for Secret Santa! And in general just lot of random thoughts.)
But if you are overwhelmed by my list, just force me to watch something on my plan to watch or on my stalled-list.
Please don't give me a series above 45~50+ episodes for a Secret Santa event or recommend to me in general, except it's already on my list. 
I don't have any specific trigger or things I can't watch for personal reasons per se; but I just can't stand sexualized lolis / shoutas and perverted characters like Rudeus, who molest children and it's portrayed as funny.
Also please don't give me something too old, especially if it's more than an OVA or short series.


Well, I'm old and watching anime / reading manga over 20 years and I'm reading manga when I'm on my way to work / university in the train and sometimes back home ... and I'm sitting in trains circa two hours almost everyday.
There are a lot of ovas, shorts and music videos in there as well. 


Fantasy of all kind, especially dark fantasy, (+ interesting worldbuilding, settings, premises etc...), horror (mostly supernatural & cosmic horror), dystopia & utopia, sci-fi in general (+ steampunk, cyberpunk, space & mecha), war drama, military, historical, adventure, seinen & some shounen, thriller (+ crime, mystery, noir, detective, spy & heist), psychological, some drama, some romance & erotic fiction, shoujo & josei, some slice of life (+ iyashikei & childcare), some kids series, some episodic series, a few ecchis & sexual-themed media, some short(er) sports series (especially dancing, figure skating, ...)


Most ecchi and harem (because most are in their writing just ... whatever), shounen with dumb fanservice (like Fire Force), a lot of "typical" battle shounen (never seen a lot of Naruto, Bleach, One Piece etc. & don't like Dragonball), most slasher horror, most sports (ball sports, boxing and generally too long sports anime), typical isekais, some / most romcoms and romances, some shoujo (doormat heroine shoujos especially), some cute girls anime


- I love and hate anime at the same time (sometimes) haha.
I think quite a bunch (quite a lot actually...) of anime are awfully written, especially the flood of cheap isekais, harems, romances etc... that are written like chatgpt wrote them or the author hasn't talked to a real human being in the last year(s). And I dislike their, either doormat / no personality, or edgy teen protagonists. 
Of course there are a lot of anime I love as well. I wouldn't be here and keep watching anime religously otherwise.

- Often I like a bit more realistic art styles, but if a moe show is good, it's good.
I want the cyberpunk and dark shit from the 90s back, including regulary getting adult protagonists like Ghost in the Shell, Cowboy Bebop, Psycho-Pass etc...
I'm often hooked when new series have adult protagonists (and lot of them are actually good, imo).

- Visuals are very important to me as well and I rarely watch very old anime or anime which visuals and / or art style I don't like. I don't mind in OVAs (or like the 90s art styles there), but I don't like to watch most of the 70s-80s series, with the exception of Gundam and a few others maybe.

- I usually don't watch really long anime and if I do, then because they really hooked me.
Some longer anime I watch(ed) are episodic and I can watch a few episodes here and there inbetween.

- Also I don't hate ecchi... I just think most of it is really bad and most of the characters or situations in it aren't even remotely erotic, sexy, whatever; simple as that.

- I also have very mixed feelings towards shounen as well. Some are really great and are some of my favorites (and Attack on Titan is my absolute favorite, sorry for being a normie, I guess), others are... meh.

- I don't like most drama anime that much, but I still occasionally watch them, because they are not bad. Just not my prefered genre. I think lot of drama anime are overdramatic. Most drama anime just don't hook me that much, although I liked series like March Comes in like a Lion for example a lot.

- Also I don't like most romance anime. Not because I'm aroace/demi (no, I like some ships and romances a lot actually), but because I think most romance anime are not that good and most teenage love is boring. But I do like reading some romance manga and manwha; wholesome ones, fucked ones, innocent or smutty ones. They have to be interesting and I have to be in the mood for it. I only add my favorites tho.

- I too have mixed feelings about lgbt anime, especially when they are specifically yuri / yaoi and don't have much plot, or most media that are outing / queer drama. Also most yuri doesn't hook me. I want stuff with adult women tbh, and series like Noir, not moe girls blushing for another haha.


1. Attack on Titan (Manga & Anime)
2. Mo Dao Zu Shi / The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Novel & Live Action)
3.  Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga & Anime)
4. Arcane (Only Series)
5. Castlevania (Only Series)
6. Witch Hat Atelier (Manga)
7. Avatar - The Last Airbender & Korra (Series)
8. Princess Mononoke (Anime Movie)
9. Banana Fish (Manga & Anime)
10. Fullmetal Alchemist (Manga & Anime (Brotherhood))

Also like a lot of others, look at my high rated anime and manga. :D
High rated means 4+.


From anime (& anime-inspired series) and manga
First 10~15 are kinda ordered.
And uhm, how do you call a non-binary waifu... haifu? Waifbandu? That's what Hange is. :D

Full Favorite Characters List - or: every character I ever liked a lot
(with explanation for my top fav characters)

1. Hange Zoe (Attack on Titan)
2. Wei Wuxian (Mo Dao Zu Shi)
3. Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan)
4. Ash Lynx (Banana Fish)
5. Vi (Arcane)
6. Shouko Eiri (Jujutsu Kaisen)
7. Maki Zenin (Jujutsu Kaisen)
8. Maomao (The Apothecary Diary)
9. Qifrey (Witch Hat Atelier)
10. Asami Sato (Avatar - The Legend of Korra)


From my favorite anime (& anime-inspired series) and manga.
I have more, but take my top ships. :D

1. Erwin x Levi (Attack on Titan)
2. Wei Wuxian x Lan Wangji (Mo Dao Zu Shi)
3. Vi x Caitlyn (Arcane)
4. Roy x Riza (Fullmetal Alchemist)
5. Ash x Eiji (Banana Fish)
6. Qifrey x Olruggio (Witch Hat Atelier)
7. Lawrence x Holo (Spice and Wolf)
8. San x Ashitaka (Princess Mononoke)
9. Nezumi x Shion (No. 6)
10. Korra x Asami (Avatar)

11. Ymir x Historia (Attack on Titan)
12. Maria x Kyeongju (Opium)
13. Hua Cheng x Xie Lian (Heaven Offical's Blessing)
14. Okabe x Kurisu (Steins;Gate)
15. Shin x Lena (86)
16. Hachirota x Ai (Planetes)
17. Trevor x Sypha (x Alucard) (Castlevania)
18. Dracula x Lisa (Castlevania)
19. Olrox x Mizrak (Castlevania)
20. Striga x Morana (Castlevania)


1. Hange, Levi & Erwin (Attack on Titan)
2. Roy, Riza & Hughes (Fullmetal Alchemist)
3. Gojo, Geto & Shoko (Jujutsu Kaisen)
4. Wei Wuxian & Wen Qing (Mo Dao Zu Shi)
5. Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng & Jiang Yanli (Mo Dao Zu Shi)
6. Trevor, Sypha & Alucard (Castlevania)
7. Vi & Ekko (Arcane)
8. Hange & Moblit (Attack on Titan
9. Spike, Faye & Ed (Cowboy Bebop)
10. Qifrey, Olruggio & Kids (Witch Hat Atelier)

11. Loid, Yor & Anya (Spy x Family)
12. Yato, Hiyori & Yukine (Noragami)
13. Ursula & Akko (Little Witch Academia)
14. Wei Wuxian & Lan Sizhui (Mo Dao Zu Shi)
15. Yuji, Megumi & Nobara (Jujutsu Kaisen)


The Untamed
The Last of Us
The Witcher
Baldur's Gate (just started)
Stranger Things
His Dark Materials
Criminal Minds
American Horror Story
Breaking Bad
Game of Thrones
Westworld (just started)
Our Flag Means Death (just started)


Pan's Labyrinth
Good Will Hunting
A Monster Calls
The Hunger Games
... and some others I like


- Ciri, Yennefer & Geralt (The Witcher)
- Joel & Ellie (The Last of Us)
- Katniss (The Hunger Games)
- Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)
- Daenerys (Game of Thrones)
- Karlach & Astarion (Baldur's Gate)

Life on anime

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Life on manga

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Vega Oct 31, 2023

So sorry about the double comment right after I posted that last one but I forgot about the last part of your post Dx (I wish these had an edit button xD)

"Same, I mean there is some stuff interesting me, but in the end only a few hook me. I habe online friends / people I know who watch 10,15+ !nime per season and then they don't like half of it anyway.

Frieren is really a great series with a lot of how do I say this... it's not your typical anime melodrama, it feels much more mature and "sincere" and all.

I'm scared of every new AoT entry, I love it so much and the same it's traumatizing ;_; although I already read the manga, still I am lol. 

Jujutsu Kaisen is the same although I'm not far into the manga yet"

Yeah I never understood how people can watch 10-15 shows a season either since I've never ran into a season with that many good shows.  Frieren is definitely the best show I've watched in a while, still blows my mind that they really nailed the atmosphere and the art style.  I really love the whole concept of a journey after the "main conflict" of sorts is already dealt with, for soem reason I just find it to be really interesting stuff :-D

Crazy to think it's been 10 years since the first season of AoT and it's almost over now... I don't know how I feel about Final Season in general since it's so different from the others but I'm looking forward to seeing how it ends.  Also you just reminded me that someday I still need to watch the Jujutsu Kaisen movie and season 2.  I loved the first season but I kinda forgot it exists!

Vega Oct 31, 2023

"And it's so fucking boring, I think that's the real issue with these jobs, and it's so hard to do something you don't wholeheartly want to. My brain being a dopamine-junkie screamed "I want to be free, run for it" lol. The activities at the job per se would be managable, if I didn't come there and felt dead for like eight hours.

That's why I think society or in general the wrong environment is the disability, not how people's brain fundamentally work, except someone can't do sone basic daily stuff, but in general it's just how things around you work. Everytime I've been in my right environment, lot of people viewed all these traits as strengths in job / studied and social interactions.

The thing is now I don't have any issue at all working and studying 40-55 hours. That might be an employers and capitalists wet dream but now that's like that. xD "

I know right?  Everyone always loves saying "sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do" but I don't think very many people realize how hard this is sometimes.  Pretty crazy how you can do 40-55 hours but it probably helps that from the sound of things you're doing what you love to do! :-)

"Ah I'm sorry, I hope you get some money, at least enough to live. So even if you find a suiting job then what... you are not allowed to do it? 

It's not much better here, you get money if you are jobless, in general everyone who's living here does, but you constantly have to apply for jobs you don't even like as well."

Yeah ;-; With how crazy the cost of living is these days it's probably going to be a real pain.  As for the job question I've been under the impression that if you get a job you either get less government money or none at all, to be honest I don't fully get how that works (the way it all works in the US is extremely confusing)

At least in your country it sounds like it's guaranteed that you get money though having to apply for jobs constantly sounds really exhausting, even moreso if it's ones you don't like :-(

Also I love that you have Karlach in your favorite characters list!  She was easily my favorite character in the game too :-D

Vega Oct 31, 2023

"Yes, a lot of developers got fired from the studio that made The Last of Us, it's an awful industry to be in, I guess."

Plus the really extreme crunch hours some devs have along with emphasis on mostly pumping stuff out for profit rather than making a good game. :-(

"I mean, these jobs are awful in general how they treat people there and all, especially in full time. I bet neurotypical people just deal with it somehow, but they don't actually handle it well either, looking at how many people nowadays suffer from depression and all."

Yeah >_<  Pretty much all of my co-workers that I got along with at my retail job sounded like they were having a pretty rough time, even some that worked two jobs.  I had such enough time handling one job I can't even imagine how anyone can handle two especially if they're both similar to each other.

"Could you move away in a flat on your own or shared flat and get some minimum income from the state until you find a fitting job, or it's that not a thing where you live? :/
That sounds very isolating, I'm sorry."

Unfortunately no. ;-; Most places are way too expensive to rent on your own as far as I'm aware (I've never checked prices myself but considering what I hear from friends who live in apartments in some big cities... yikes).  As for minimum income from the state, it's a shitshow in the US as far as that goes.  It sort of exists but only if you're mentally or physically disabled in some form plus there's a lot of strings attached (you can only have so much in your bank account, you have to prove that not only are you disabled but that this also keeps you from working and even if you do have proof 9 times out of 10 it somehow isn't enough, etc).  I've been trying to get this sorted out for about a year or so but it takes a long time just for the application to go through only to end up likely getting rejected, then you have to appeal it and hope that actually goes through. 

Right now I'm waiting to hear back on if the appeal worked out or not and I have no clue how long it'll take (I've already been told it could take an extremely long time due to an extremely long backlog of applications that were filed when covid got bad) or if it'll even work out >_<  The biggest issue on my end is the whole "proof of disability" thing since the rejection letter I got basically acknowledged that I was disabled but that I could just be able to "adjust to other work".  Long story short it's hard for me to get a more up to date diagnosis which makes this feel like it only has like a 50/50 chance of working.

Yeah, it does get pretty isolating at times ;-;  At least I'm a little better mentally these days compared to how I was a few years ago.  I just hope I'll be able to figure something out before anything serious happens.

"Atm Pluto, Frieren and The Apothecary Diaries are my favorites. I'm not so much atm and tbh I enjoy that I have quality over quantity-mindset in anime. I drop a lot that's just not catching me.

Right now I'm just watching Frieren and I'll definitely be watching Pluto at some point.  Also going to watch the last episode of Attack on Titan when it finally comes out.  I'm really happy with how Frieren turned out in particular since I also really like the manga :-)  I have a similar quality over quantity mindset with anime too to the point where I only tend to watch around one show per season these days, maybe two.  I also haven't really had the energy to binge as much anime as I used to so I've mostly watched ongoing stuff unless I'm in the right mood.  Works out pretty well for me!  These days I've been gravitating more towards manga due to how many anime adaptations either end up incomplete or take numerous years for another season.

Vega Oct 28, 2023

"Oh I'm just telling you, designing for and coding for video games doesn't have anything to do with ... uhm actual video games like people might imagine, most times. I'm not that deep into the field, because mine is something else entirely, but what I've heard about that. But maybe you will like it...?
Having any other ideas too?"

To be honest I don't really want to work in the game industry in general, I've heard way too many horror stories over the years :-(  As for other ideas I've had, I've been learning Japanese recently so it's possible I could maybe do something with that, but I'm nowhere near the level I think I'd need to be if I was going to be let's say a translator or something.  I got a long way to go so we'll see what happens :-D

"I guess, they least at try to understand and I understand what it's like.
I know this from my mom, although I highly guess she's too autistic. But she can't comprehend why I've been so burned out everytime after my retail or bureau job and, because "I had to go through these things too". Everytime I said "I can't working there", it was like "but you ARE working there, so you CAN." Of course I can, but it's so exhausting having to do something that's not for you at all.
People in general should only do what they are made for and want to, imo. It's just me wanting everyone to live as freely as possible. ^^""

Yeah I've dealt with similar mindsets from my parents too.  Mainly I keep trying to tell them I'm not going to be able to handle "normal" work hours and they seem to keep thinking I can just "build up tolerance for it" when I'm pretty sure the four months I spent working retail should be more than enough to prove how that's not going to work with most jobs that are out there.  And yeah, I'd much rather do something I can actually enjoy that I "click" with instead of trying to force myself to do something that's just not working.

"I can't drive either because of my bad coordination and bad sight, but having a car here is just a pain anyway. It's expensive, not only buying one, but maintaining one and buying gas. So no thanks anyway.
It's another situation tho, if you are living in the outback or anything...? How do you get anywhere, or are you dependent on your parents driving you?"

Yeah the insane costs are another reason why driving would just never work out.  It's a real pain cause like, there's nothing within walking distance and everything is about 20 minutes away by driving distance.  The only options I have are to either use Uber/Lyft (which costs like 20 bucks just for a one way trip, the cost just adds up way too fast for me to want to use it regularly and it likely costs even more now), the local county-run taxi service (which last time I tried, was pretty much constantly completely booked up and impossible to use), or I have to have my parents take me places.  I tend to go for the third option cause it's just more cost-effective that way and I don't really go out that much apart from going to this one arcade not far from my house about once a month.

"Really well. I'm just chilling the last days, a bit of friends and couple time, a bit me time and watching anime and writing this week. I've been working the last three and a half week through (and I even enjoyed it a lot overall haha), still I needed that vacation.

Yours? ^^"

That's good! :-)  What animes are you watching?  My day's been pretty okay, just largely been chilling out and playing Alan Wake 2.  It's pretty good so far! :-)

Vega Oct 27, 2023

"I think it's existential fear, but people keep defending the system they already know, because that's all they know, so they can't imagine that a system could be different. "

Holy shit, did you read my mind???  Cause that's exactly what I've been thinking and saying to people for years!  And yeah, in the US it gets pretty bad when it comes to trying to find resources or get the help you need.  It doesn't help that a scary number of people think really terrible shit when it comes to people who need help :-(

"Good to hear you are not doing another retail job, if you already disliked the former one. ^^ hope you will find something you like as well."

Hopefully I'll figure something out eventually, it's hard cause like, pretty much everything out there is way out of my interest zone and as far as my interests go I have zero interest in making video games or anything like that (I like playing games but that's pretty much as far as it goes and I wouldn't want to make that a job either, otherwise I'd probably burn out...)

As for getting along with my parents it tends to fluctuate a lot.  They never quite get how hard it is for me when it comes to certain things and it's borderline impossible for me to explain (it's always "oh I guess I half understood what you just said" anytime I try to explain anything), so I mostly just kinda keep to myself these days.  The hardest part really is trying to keep myself occupied because since I don't drive (my brain just does not click with driving) and there's not much out here combined with near complete lack of public transit, it's kinda hard to do things.

How's your day going? :-)