Just wanted to say hi, and great attempt with your first properly structured reviews. There are a couple of issues that you need to address with the style and flow. One of the worst sins that plagues us all is repetition, and reading your own work over and over does not always highlight the problem:
The art in Darker than Black is exceptional, the Bones name branded
onto every frame. A dark palette is favored to fill in the vacant
allies, while vibrancy bubbles in Shinjuku’s flashing lights. The style
is outlined in dark strokes, as the action unfolds before your eyes.
The other problem is a limited use of vocabulary, although this is usually cause by unintentional repetition. www.thesaurus.com has saved me more than once, and I regularly use it to add colour to my work. I would recommend trying these tips on your current reviews and also keep writing with this in mind. Reviewing is a hard job and I'm still learning a lot 3 months after becoming an official site reviewer.
Don't give up, your reviews certainly have something about them!
Hey Lucifer, I chatted wtih some of the site reviewers and they're interested in seeing a site review format review (like I mentioned in chat last night) - as that'll be the easiest way for them to give specific feedback. ^_^ I'd say if you focus on the two points I brought up last night (minimalism and flow between sentences to inhibit the 'stop and go' style) that'll help a lot. :)
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happy birthday random user(:
*poke* *poke poke* *superPOKE* *Poke-mon!*
Where have you beeeeeen? Did we finally break your spirit?
Dude, you need a profile and a sig. ^_^
Also, ANN plans to stream Murder Princess, so I'm looking forward to your take on it.
Just wanted to say hi, and great attempt with your first properly structured reviews. There are a couple of issues that you need to address with the style and flow. One of the worst sins that plagues us all is repetition, and reading your own work over and over does not always highlight the problem:
The art in Darker than Black is exceptional, the Bones name branded onto every frame. A dark palette is favored to fill in the vacant allies, while vibrancy bubbles in Shinjuku’s flashing lights. The style is outlined in dark strokes, as the action unfolds before your eyes.
The other problem is a limited use of vocabulary, although this is usually cause by unintentional repetition. www.thesaurus.com has saved me more than once, and I regularly use it to add colour to my work. I would recommend trying these tips on your current reviews and also keep writing with this in mind. Reviewing is a hard job and I'm still learning a lot 3 months after becoming an official site reviewer.
Don't give up, your reviews certainly have something about them!
H.
Hey Lucifer, I chatted wtih some of the site reviewers and they're interested in seeing a site review format review (like I mentioned in chat last night) - as that'll be the easiest way for them to give specific feedback. ^_^ I'd say if you focus on the two points I brought up last night (minimalism and flow between sentences to inhibit the 'stop and go' style) that'll help a lot. :)