WARNING:THIS REVIEW HAS CONTENT HARMFUL TO KIDS(so i guess that means it will be fun)
So, what's on today's menu? I could order a bed of nails and sleep on it till all my blood runs out, i could also try that thing i read the other day called autoerotic asphyxia...Did you know that most kids these days die trying to pull this off(pun intended)? Yeah apparently young males call it scarfing cause they use their scarfs to hang themselves in order to heighten the sexual release.
Now, i haven't tried this myself cause i find it too risky, i'm a simple lad to be honest. Jerk off, wipe my hands and off to work. I like simple entertainment, what can i say?
Anyways, i was too hungover cause i'm too old to be drinking like the world is about to end and since it has been a little while since i watced any kind of anime i decided to pump myself full of painkillers and watch some shit....As to why i chose this particular shit i cannot tell but here we are and these are my thoughts on Anonymous Noise: The soundtrack of my worst nightmares.
To kick things off AN wastes no time pushing the pedal to the metal by introducing us to a song so brutal and technical, the likes of which can only be heard from bands such as Cannibal Corpse, Lamb of God, Slipknot etc.
Wanna take a guess which one i'm talking about? It isn't that hard people come on, even kids know this shit..Nope? Well let me put you out of your misery and tell you.....IT'S FUCKING TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR!
I know, i know you expected something from Cradle of Filth maybe but no, this anime makes Dani Filth and his friends look like a christian metal band from Illinois...What? You don't believe me? Well good news cause your instinct was right on the money! No this anime is trying to be Your Lie in April by not being Your Lie in April. I know it sounds interesting but trust me, it isn't that at all. Cause what AN did to differentiate itself from YLIA was shittier animation and didn't have a major character dying just for emotion porn's sake..
But more on that later on, for now let's see what's the story, shall we?
So, Nino(the female MC) is a girl who had a friend named Momo and every night they would sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star together under the starry sky. One day though Momo had to be put down cause he had rabies...No he didn't actually cause that would be interesting in a weird, twisted way and AN doesn't do either! With Momo gone Nino did the healthy thing and did what every other kid does....Put on a mask and play for a deathcore band!
Damn i can do this all day and will never get old..Nope she really did put on a mask like those they wear in hospitals to avoid expressing her emotions and scream.....Yup, not fucking with you this time, even i with my wild imagination couldn't come up with such a Freudian approach...At this point in the anime begins what i'd like to call "the storm of weirdly convenient just so happens situations"... So one day, she meets another boy named Yuzu who likes to write compositions in the sand at the beach. Nino reads the music and begins singing the notes which makes Yuzu hard. Yuzu said some crap about finding his voice and then left...Poor Nino was all alone again and fast forward a few years Nino enters high school where she finds out that Yuzu goes to the same school as her and is a part of the Cultural Music Club which she later becomes a member discovering their dark secrets and somewhere along the way she also finds out that Momo is attending the same school as well.
At this point i'm sure you all are scratching your heads and one question echoes in your brains. WHERE THE HELL WHERE HER PARENTS?
And here begin many of the issues i had with this anime. I mean this girl has some major issues and the most obvious one was wearing a mask for no apparent reason for most of her life and nobody wonders what the hell is going on with her? Then it's her crush with a boy which if you really sit and think about is....I don't know....Maybe let's call it disturbing? Not normal in any way? Sure we all had that guy/girl we really liked as kids but i don't think we gave it a second thought after, say, 2 days. It's called moving on with your damn life.
Next in line is Yuzu who i can only describe as a cuck(please don't make me explain google it). He has a crush with Nino since childhood and never forgot about her..He even went and made a band with her in mind in the hopes that she'll join him and sing together ritualistic songs to summon the dark lord himself and make little satan loving children..But as is always the case, deals with the devil don't go as planned and he ends up being an emotional cructh for Nino to use to overcome her feelings for someone she hasn't seen since the medieval times. Even when he manages to "confess" his feelings he quickly falls back to his cuck form and prompts her with all of his might to jump onto Momo and drain him from his bodily fluids.
As for Momo.....Dear lord deliver me from characters with no characterization. Sure Momo has some backstory which was explored for all 3 seconds but apart from that i think he was there just to be there so we can be reminded that he exists...Apart from the fact that Nino calls his name every 3 god damn seconds...And no i'm not being stupid i swear, she litterally says "Momo" every 2 lines or so.
So far this seems like twilight but even more stupider...So where does the music fit in?
Like i said Yuzu has a band which Nino joined later on to become their vocalist. This band is their secret thus they all wear masks and disguise as characters from Alice in Wonderland..So like Slipknot but more mainstream..
I really liked this part of the anime cause the band was alt rock and all was well until the one who voiced Nino started singing. Make no mistake she has a nice-ish voice but it's not for this kind of music. Rock needs guts and rasp and soul which she didn't have..For a pop band she would be perfect cause that needs no skill at all but rock is another realm of vocal ranges altogether. The end result is appaling, she sure tries her best to sound the part but ends up putting out screams that animals make when they die. I don't know who thought she was the best pck but i hope you rot in hell for all eternity for this sacrilege.
To add insult to injury all performances by the band are in CG, which seems to be a trend in anime these days cause it saves money and time...So naturally the on screen product looks like watching the fat, sweating face of Ron Jeremy in a porn film when he climaxes.. Not a beautiful sight is it? Well fuck you, you're gonna get CG in many other scenes as well..Feeling the burn in your eyes already?
And don't think that the rest of the animation is even remotely better cause it isn't. I found many instances where the animation was wayyyyyyyyyyyyy inconsistent and weirdly scenes where even the food depiction was better than the one for characters.
I don't think there is more to say about this anime..Unhealthy obssessions, love triangles, the characters and their motivations are paper thin and at times borderline retarted and of course twinkle twinkle...And i'm not joking about this part of the anime, there's an entire episode with nothing but that. The conclusion of the series is just a huge leap back to where it all started, with Momo ditching Nino again because his evil mom threatened to hurt her, Nino quitting the band without any explanation for it, Yuzu quitting the band without any explanation for it, while helping Nino get dicked down by Momo…
So if you want to watch rehashed scenes over and over again, a story that goes nowhere and characters that play no part in their own story please do go ahead..