Dionkeykong

"To the bath house and beyond" or maybe that's what they should have called this psycho circus called Ufo Ultramaiden Valkyrie..And if you're not impressed by the title alone let me give you some more useful details that will arouse your...Mind.

What? Did you think i was gonna say your pants? What anime do you think this is anyway? This is a serious love story about a little 8 yr old girl and a child molester, who found one another under the worst circumstances possible.

You see our little Valkyrie crashed her spaceship right on Kazuto's(the child molester)bath house, killing him in the process. And if this was one of those ridiculous ecchi anime Kazuto would somehow be brought back to life and that's fucking exactly what happens when-the adult then-Valkyrie decided to give him half her soul to revive him. Of course giving half your soul-as we all know-makes you revert back to your 8 yr old self, so she got stuck on earth not only as a child but as a prisoner of Kazuto's as well.

So, if one wondered what the moral of this story is then it would probably be "if you are a bad driver and you kill a pervert let it be, don't whatever you do stop cause the guilt will take over and you'll end up as a sex slave", or something like that. That's a life lesson you won't get in the school books so be grateful this anime exists.

At this point you might think that this sounds ok-ish, sure there's a child molester but the 8 yr old should be at least a bit cute, right? Right?................WRONG WRONG AND WRONG. Valkyrie as an 8 yr old is the most annoying character i've seen to date and not only that she takes incredible pleasure in animal torture as she's seen in many occassions riding a poor little alien dog and stretching his ears to the other end of the galaxy. BUT here's the catch..Valkyrie can go back to being an adult once she kisses Kazuto..Yeah...As if this wasn't braincell killing enough they thought it would be a nice touch to have an 8 yr old kissing a 17 yr old. And there's a nicer tough to this whole bang and blow bussiness which is the transforming-almost Sailor Moon-esque-scene where we get to witness Valkyrie in all her godly goodness, boingy breasts and an ass so beautiful it can kill you..But don't worry there are plenty of them babes in Valhalla.

So we have covered pedo's and nudity..What else is there? Well, to add some madness to the mix we also have a catgirl. Yup your brain isn't sending you wrong signals there's a catgirl straight outta Valhalla...And that isn't the end of her story as we are shown in her own episode that she is in possession of a ray gun that turns humans into slave cat girls that answer to her and her only..How bloody brilliant is that? And why science hasn't produced this marvelous weapon of mass erection?

From there the 3 of them along with Kazuto's sister, run the bath house which is the new spot for all the weird looking aliens to gather and have a nice bath which in turn means that the average otaku has one more reason to watch this show..Nude aliens of all sizes and shapes. For god's sake there's a banana alien with legs..But all was in vain cause everything is ruined by the 8 yr old Valkyrie raiding the place and being absolutely annoying to the point of destruction..And she...She won't shut up cause she's the main focus of this show..Well along with stark naked aliens and all..

This show then, is all about fanservice, catgirls, nude magical girl transformations, opening and closing songs from a kids party from hell, an annoying main female character, a generic and bland as fuck male main and generic as fuck rest of the cast..And almost non existent humour.. Animation was good if by any chance you didn't close your eyes and ears everytime Valkyrie was ready to open he damn mouth..

The show sure picks up some speed towards the last eps but it's not enough and the end of the series left me with a gaping wound in my left hand, a result of me stabbing my self with a fork.

All in all i think you should avoid this one like you would avoid leprosy.