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Dionkeykong

  • Greece
  • Joined Jan 6, 2016
  • 38 / M

Tsuritama

May 1, 2016

Hello you beautiful pieces of......As you can imagine this review isn't for people whose feelings get hurt more often than they breath so go do something else and don't bother me.

So i felt i needed to update the review since i was bound to finish this sooner or later...Took me a whole year to finish it,but hey the sun is shining and all is good..Or is it?

You see in my previous review of Tsuritama i was a bit unfair..I said blatantly that it was so bad it gave me cancer...But i was wrong,it was not cancer..It was cancer and aids.

And now i must get to the most painful part..The actual review.And to be honest i'd rather be in a dungeon in North Korea,which is a country known for its' hospitality..No hospitality isn't the word i'm looking for..I meant hell on earth,a place where the leader is a psychotic baby with a grenade.

But let's start shall we?And let's kick it off with......Well the opening song!!!!This is the best part of the anime really,a kind of melodeath and grindcore fused with electro-gothic elements...Nah i'm fucking with you,it's the same cheesy shit you get to hear in every anime show.But the song is the least of the problems,as we enter the very first scenes.

And it's the animation..Now most reviewers will say it's bloody good cause this and that and look all the nice colours and shit and it's smooth and sooth and all that crap..Yeah it uses bright colours but......Come on people,look past the bright and it makes me feel like a 14yr old girl who just lost her virginity cuntflappery.Animation isn't just bright and nice colours it's also about the background,the characters design etc..And believe me when i say that this is the most basic animation i've seen in a long time.Everything about this anime screams generic,the colours are just a distraction..And by the looks of things a good one..The characters for example,have the blandest design i've seen in years.I have seen anime from the 1990's that had more detailed facial features for cryin out loud.Now there are good moments of animation here and there but most times it's unbearable to watch and there are way many inconsistencies.

Then we have the story...Which to summarise,is about some kids who go for fishing after school cause pornmags were damn expensive and the internet was not yet invented.Some say it's about the deepening of friendship and some other shit i don't understand cause i'm incapable of emotions.....Aside from that i cannot possibly see why fishing is interesting in any way-shape-form.It's fucking fishing it's not a weekend at Las Vegas with cocaine and hookers.

Yes Dion but not everyone shares your love for debauchery and rock n roll and sex and drugs mate..Sure cause you're all monumental dullards.

So basically they took some kids with "issues" and then wanted to show the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP...And talking about friendship,what's that with Japan's fixation on friendship?Almost every single anime is about friendship and love that will conquer all when we all know that it's money and power that conquers all and crucially people are pieces of shit who will trounce all over you when you're down and will take advantage of you in the most horrible ways...But at least they'll say some good words on your funeral.

Back to the story and fast forward many eps in the show takes on another approach and tries to put the D in drama and comedy...And fails at both miserably..We come to learn about an evil organisation of aliens called.....DUCKS....FUCKING DUCKS..And guess how these evil aliens are dressed..As rubber ducks of course baka...Now i'm all about leather and rubber..And yes i'm talking bdsm here..

"You idiot,they wanted to do comedy as well"...I hear you and i feel you..You were dropped on your head as a child a LOT causing you irreversible brain damage and you mistake ridiculous with comedy..

As for the characters themselves..I've totally forgotten all about them..Can you blame me?This was one of the most boring casts i've encountered to date.I couldn't connect with them,couldn't relate with any of them in any way...Jamie Oliver is more interesting than them for god's sake.And Oliver is as interesting as the plants he cooks.

All in all cause i can't really be bothered much more with this one,it's plain and simple boring and any attempt to make it something even remotely close to interesting fell as flat as your brainwave.

And i don't think this is for kids only either cause any kid would fall fast asleep after 2 eps to be frank..So maybe it's for people who live in their small bubble and can ONLY handle heartwarming pretentious crap and cute and moe?! cause oh the world is such a bad place..

This review was made possible while listening to City of Thieves - "Buzzed Up City"

1/10 story
3/10 animation
3/10 sound
1/10 characters
1/10 overall

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Parakasha Jan 11, 2018

Reviews? My sister can make better reviews and she's 12.

Dionkeykong Jun 6, 2017

@HasegawaTadayoshi first off my dear dear boy or girl..I know u got hurt over my review of Berserk and Alderamin and obviously you are just nitpicking parts of this review trying to be smart..You aren't trust me.My reviews are all written in a very very very drunk state..So correct grammar is out of the equation.Just don't expect me to attend AA meetings.

About my maths problem,blame it on my country's educational system..And since i'm not rating just by the 4 options given to me by AP my overall has some other factors mixed in as well..Like say enjoyment.Is this simple explanation or do you need some time to think of a clever comeback?Like that "You just show examples based on your life on why it's bad"...Where did you see those examples?In a vision or something?

Why do i need to prove to you why i believe this is bad?Cause you say so?Seriously?Who the hell do you think you are?The Queen of England?Do i have to prove air exists too cause you can't see it or touch it?It's hell incarnate and that's that.If you don't feel it's adequate there are people who can help you with that.To answer your last question i'm going for whatever i very well damn please.

And because last time i checked you have no authority to tell me how reviews are supposed to be and neither are you in the RPD(Review Police Department)sod off.I'm gonna write whatever i want,however i want to.Now off you go kiddo.

Sarcataclysmal Jun 6, 2017

Your review is inadequate due to the fact that you do not prove why any of this is bad. You just show examples based on your life on why it's bad. Also, you have a math issue. I suggest calculating the average (overall) score on google calculator next time. Another thing, your grammar makes your review seem explicitly amateur and very useless looking. Aesthetic looks bring people in, this "grammar" turns off turtles. "unless u are suicidal or thing Germany is a tropical place." What the hell were you going for here? I'd honestly like to know.

Dionkeykong Jun 18, 2016

Oh yeah kick a man when he's down mate..

Lel0uchViBritannia Jun 13, 2016

This anime was not that bad, may be you are too old for this stuff :D