Story Time

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by TurkeyGami, Aug 26, 2018.

  1. TurkeyGami

    TurkeyGami Well-Known Member

    There are many threads for many things, but when I looked I didn't see a general discussion thread for just telling us any kind of interesting event that happened in your life, and I noticed a few members like telling long stories about their lives. Make it paragraphs long if you want, or just some kind of weird short story. Something that happened today that doesn't quite fit in Made or Ruined your day, or take a trip down memory lane and remember something interesting that happened to you. Entertain us
    [​IMG]
     
  2. Nitroglycerin

    Nitroglycerin Forum Moderator

    This one time, at band camp...
     
  3. Thrawn

    Thrawn POPEE BELIEVER

    Posted by Thrawn on Aug 26, 2018
    #3
    One day I found a ten dollar bill on the ground on the way to school. I bought a game with it. The game was good.

    The end.
     
  4. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Posted by Guest on Aug 26, 2018
    #4
    All that I'm willing to share now is this. I've been through quite a lot pretty horrible things pretty much half my life but now that I'm older and learned a lot from my past I grew and became a much stronger young women from my hard times Inendured. I wish most things never happened to me but.. I see it as if I never went through it I wouldn't be who I am today. My advice is there is hope for you so please never give up and keep fighting, things do get better and yes it may take some time but.. everything works out in the end. Also trust karma too.
     
  5. Gens

    Gens Database Moderator

    Posted by Gens on Aug 26, 2018
    #5
    Instead of posting my own story, I'm going to cheat instead, and immortalize BrainBlow's story in this thread, that everyone needs to hear:

    This needs to be passed down, through generations of AP.
     
  6. PreciousEgg

    PreciousEgg Well-Known Member

    [WARNING: GROSS]

    Storytime: This happened a few years ago. I live in a very small town full of shit people and since me and my friend (We were 14 years old) wanted to get as far as possible from them we decided to go to a scout camp.

    So there we are, two weeks after our decision, finally at scout camp! Aah, a bit of relax from all the nasty people in my town. Except for the fact that they were literally all there. All of them. But me and my friend couldn't just leave the camp out of the blue for no reason, so we decided to stay a bit and see how things went. One of the worst decisions of our lives.

    On the third day of camp, they chose a group to prepare lunch. And of course, knowing my luck, the group was composed of me, my friend, and these two monkeys we'll call Ann and Sylvia (Same age as us BTW) just 'cause I want to be like one of those fancy reporters who blur out the names. Now, let me just say something about Ann and Sylvia before I start narrating our misfortunes: If you're thinking "This can't be true, they can't be this stupid!" while you read, just know those were my exact thoughts while I was witnessing this horror.

    The lunch we had to prepare were mashed potatoes (Yes, just mashed potatoes. That was our lunch.). We were alone in the kitchen: Me and my friend on one side, and Sylvia and Ann on the other, and for the first five minutes we were basically just glaring at eachother without saying a word. Then, my friend goes "Ok, we should start washing the potat-" but before she could even finish Sylvia just laughs and goes "Oh wait, you seriously think we're gonna let you two cook with your nasty ass hands? We're gonna be making this while you two stay out of this". Our hands were clean btw, and after like 10 minutes of fighting over who should cook we just decided to let them do it so they would just shut up. And here comes the paranormal part:

    They run the potatoes under the water and put them in the other part of the sink. Then, they fill the pot with hot water, and drop the potatoes in. At that point, since me and my friend had no business in the kitchen, we just sat somewhere to hang out. 15 minutes passed. Then 30. Then an hour, then two hours. It was 2:30 pm at this point and everyone was starving. So they shouted at us to hurry up with the cooking and we had to go and check on Ann and Sylvia. When we enter the kitchen, they're talking to eachother in front of the pan, and we can clearly hear Ann say "Do you think we should turn the burner on? They still look raw to me" to which Sylvia responded "I don't think so. I've seen my mom make mashed potatoes and I don't think she turns it on. she just drops them in hot water". We didn't even know how to react to those words, so we just moved them out of the way and turned on the damn burner. But then they immediately started shouting: "Get the fuck out of the way, we can handle this! We'll turn on the fucking burner ok? Just get out of here", to which we responded "ok" and just left, but we were obviously going to tell the adults. Now, it was quite a long walk to the adults tent, so by the time we came back with them, the potatoes had already been mashed. Since the adults saw that they had cooked the potatoes, they decided to scold us for "Wasting their damn time" and went back to their tent. What they didn't know is what had happened after the potatoes had been cooked:

    After looking at the mashed potatoes up close, we could clearly see that something was wrong, because the potatoes were FUCKING GREY. So we asked them "How the fuck did you cook these?" to which they responded "They're good, there's just a little dust on them, but you can eat them". "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET DUST ON THE POTATOES?" we asked, and Sylvia responded "We had taken them off the fire and we were ready to peel them, but then we noticed the table was fucking dusty, so I decided to peel them in the sink while Ann cleaned the table. When the table was clean, Ann told me she wanted to mash the potatoes, but of course a little dust went on them 'cause her hands were dirty. Don't be a bitch and complain about every single thing ok? They're fucking good, just take out the damn dust!"

    In that moment, lots of questions went through our mind:
    -Did she clean the table with her bare ass hands?
    -Why did ANN, (the one with the dusty hands) have to mash the potatoes when your hands were clean?
    -Why didn't she just clean her damn hands?
    -Are you two actually retarded?

    At this point, we just left disgusted. It was 3:30 pm and that shit was about to be served to everyone, so before it could be served we tried telling everyone not to eat them but of course, since we were the unpopular kids, no-one believed us. So there they were, biting into those grey ass potatoes. We watched disgusted as they removed strands of hair and dust from their mouths, followed by everyone hiding behing a tree to vomit.

    While this horror was happening, we called our mothers to have them take us back home, and when they arrived we left without even saying goodbye. The next day, we discovered that everyone had called their parents shortly after we did.

    A week passed, and the scout camp had to literally be closed for the summer because no-one wanted to go there anymore.

    So yeah, this is the disgusting story about how two monkeys cooking mashed potatoes managed to make an entire scout camp close.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2018
  7. Grach

    Grach Well-Known Member

    Posted by Grach on Aug 26, 2018
    #7
    Oh goodie - story tiem; perfect. I have a loooot of stories, but I don't think posting all in one go would be best, so here's one:

    Let's begin with the tales of Legendary Shaun;

    So when I got to Japan, there was a guy at the dorm named Shaun, and he was from my university here in the US - I had never met him before, but he sure had heard about me. It all started off a bit odd, with me getting a very tight bear hug after getting into the dorm from a 26hr flight - but me being tired, it didn't exactly register and I more or less shrugged it off. He offered to take a bunch of us newbies around to the local sites, which was nice and once again - had no idea what I was getting into. After around a week I go up to this fancy mall near the dorm for some cheese and other harder-to-find groceries....and when Shaun found out I had cheese, he took said package, opened it, and proceeded to place it under his sweaty armpit...before offering it back to me. Very much "ye naw" right there, and uh...after telling him that I didn't want it, he proceeded to lick off the sweat and then eat said cheese. It was then that I knew I was getting into some dark times...
    ...fast forward a bit, and school is fully in swing, and he's uh...more and more lax. Anyhow, one day the Aussie who lives down the hall, me, and two others plus Shaun decide to go out to tour Nagoya's main shopping street. The rest of us gather around in the lobby, waiting for Shaun to show up; the time we were supposed to leave comes and goes, and we're still there waiting on him. After around 10min, he shows up, and explains to the Aussie and I that he couldn't find a new towel and had to use a pair of shorts. He didn't look (or smell) like he had taken a shower, so we asked for what...turns out he always used a towel to wipe his arse after taking a shite...and this solved the question as to why the trash stank every so many days. Uh...after that, he then admitted to using his homework as impromptu TP when he had no towel or shorts.
    A few weeks before leaving the dorm, he discovered the mayo flavored potato chips. Nothing inherently wrong about enjoying mayo chips, but he took it one helluva step farther. Around the 10th chip, he grew curious and decided to slather each chip in extra creamy mayo brought over from the US...and proceeded to sit there eating the mayo as if it were a fine salsa.
    On the final day of his departure, he finally decided to clean his room, much to everyone's joy - which quickly turned to dismay. See, turns out he thought he could save a step in cleaning by filling his tub with bleach and soaking his curtains in them...while also splashing bleach around the bathroom to make it "clean" and then letting it sit as he cleaned his room. Well, turns out bleach fumes can get someone pretty high if they huff them in a small space for extended periods of time...
    Anyhow, his parting gift for the Aussie was a used toilet brush with a note attached saying, "I hope this can keep yours as clean as it did mine!". There were still specks of shite still left on it. I'll never forget the Aussie shouting "I'll come to America and shove this up your ass, you fucking cunt ass Shaun!"
    Did I also mention he donated his shite towels to the dorm to use as decorations? They still hang there today, as brown ghosts for Halloween.
     
  8. Vega

    Vega Well-Known Member

    Posted by Vega on Aug 26, 2018
    #8
    So I just skimmed that and... what in the hell did I just read??? Just, ew. Who uses a towel to wipe their ass? I... wow.
     
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  9. MistLiigh

    MistLiigh Well-Known Member

    Adding this to the already mile-long list of reasons why I will never have a roommate I don't think might one day be my wife... And let me tell you if she wipes her ass with a towel outside of a goddamn emergency there's a very high chance that relationship is over.
     
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  10. Grach

    Grach Well-Known Member

    Posted by Grach on Aug 26, 2018
    #10
    The thing is, we all had our own rooms - it was just uh...like a giant family. Complete with all the dysfunctionality of some.
     
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  11. Vega

    Vega Well-Known Member

    Posted by Vega on Aug 26, 2018
    #11
    I'm guessing you have many, many stories...
     
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  12. Grach

    Grach Well-Known Member

    Posted by Grach on Aug 26, 2018
    #12
    Oh yes indeed. What's a person to do if they don't have stories?

    Anyhow, here are some shorter ones:
    Ehh...I want to say that around a month into my stay, it's a friend of mine's birthday and she invites me plus a few other girls along for it. At one point, the group splits up because the birthday girl and her friends wanted to go to the Pokemon store and a few art supply shops, leaving me with this other girl - we'll call her A. The others say they'll be around an hour, so A says "We're going to a maid cafe". I'm not too keen on the idea, and protest a bit, before she drags me along by my collar into the maid cafe. Uh...well...we get a seat, and I start getting progressively redder by the moment. The maids saw me getting dragged in and start to ask if A and I are a couple, to which both of us deny (both of us were already in a relationship), and that just makes me more and more red. Then we had to do the cutesy "kyu-n kyu-n" for our food, and I go a shade of red that would make a tomato look dull. Fukkin started to look like one of those 90's ecchi MCs when they see something remotely risque. Which of course invites the maids to start to ask if I'm ok, which just results in more and more embarrassment...and then they place bear ears on my head and ask for a photo...to which the drunk guys start cheering me on.

    Obligatory photo:
    [​IMG]

    Anyhow, we finally get the message to leave and meet up after around two hours (birthday girl couldn't decide on a Charizard and Evee). There's this variety store below the maid cafe called Don Qijote, and we all pop into there for a bit so the others could get water and the like. Well, birthday girl pulls me aside and asks me to help her with deciding on something - I accept, cuz why not. So we go to the second floor, and then she enters the "adult goods section" and all my wats start. I enter in, curious as to what she wanted me for, and then she asks "could you help me with selecting a dildo and then with a tenga for my bf? I don't know which is best". Cue "wat" overload. [I didn't know anything specific about recommending dildos or tengas at the time]. So, I just kinda...vaguely give some general info and that was that, thankfully. Though I did get the "you know your stuff" a few weeks later, so uh...
    If dying from embarrassment were a thing, I think I would have come close that day.

    --------------

    Uh...a few weeks later was the overnight trip. After dinner I left the hotel to get some more food and a few beer to enjoy looking at the stars with (the town where we were stayed was on the westernmost point in Japan, with very few people and not even a trainline to). So after a bit of wandering I find a nice spot and run into a few people from the dorm I never really had the chance to talk to. Turns out getting drunk off your arse with a small group under the stars isn't a bad way to bond. After who knows how long, we go back to the hotel and decide to go to the hotsprings - 10/10 best experience, even if the girls all gathered and watched us guys from one of their balconies. Feltreallyweirdman. Saw the shrine from Higurashi the next day though, which was kewl.

    -------------

    Sometime before I left for Kyoto after returning from Taiwan, I was invited to go to a Japanese pub for a farewell party for one of the students who had to go home. So I, an Aussie guy, a Dutchman, and two Japanese RAs go to see the guy off. We get there, get the "all you can drink", and let the festivities commence. Well, I went waaaaaaaaay too hard too fast. After around 45min, I drank around 4L of beer. The most I remember after that is laying on the ground of the subway station, apologizing to the guy who had to go home, shoving an unknown amount of money at him, and then being in a taxi shoving more money at the RAs to pay for us all. Next thing I know I'm back in my room, they place me on the bed with a nice setup to prevent my choking on any vomit. Supposedly I fell off the bed a few times, and then they just kinda...gave up and flopped me there.
    TFW the female RAs saw your touhou plushies
     
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  13. Vega

    Vega Well-Known Member

    Posted by Vega on Aug 26, 2018
    #13
    Sounds like you wind up doing all sorts of crazy shit dude! I wish I had some stories to tell myself but my life is a fairly boring one, at least for the moment. Maybe something might change in the future though, never know! :-D
     
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  14. heavymetal3412

    heavymetal3412 Well-Known Member

    me and some friends were hanging out at a friend of ours once when we were in highschool in his garage. we all didnt know he had a autistic i think mentally challanged little brother. was that expiramenting stage of life where we all first were starting smoking,. long story short the dude, aka guy were at's house had went to use the bathroom. were looking around and find a sippy cup and make a smoking device out of it. not sure what took our friend so long but his little brother comes in yelling some nondistinguishable angry sounding things. we kinda shrugged it off and went back to smoking. 2 minutes later our friends mom comes in and so does his little brother again who points at us smoking as im coughing so hard im seeing stars he yells out MY CUP!! clear as day , well apparently it was the only cup he would drink out of(not going to lie it was a pretty cool design) and he was very very angry. his mom was so mad too. we pretty much made a run for it out the door and the cops got called and our friend got grounded and we never really hung out with him again for along time.

    now that were older and more grown up i occasionally see them around town and were friendly now that im not a punk kid though. the guy we were ats house actually ended up being one of the only cool friends i have who also plays computer games and watches anime. he also shares a passion for metal music. however i got out of that kind of stuff and live straight edge minus i drink from time to time, but he is still kind of is still on that same path.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 26, 2018
  15. TurkeyGami

    TurkeyGami Well-Known Member

    The day before we left on vacation, I came home after a full day at work to find that my mother had some interesting information for me. She had dropped off our cat, Topaz, at a pet hospital/kennel because we were leaving. She was going to get Her spayed as well, because she had always been a kind of angsty aggressive cat. You may remember if you were on the forums for a while I once posted pictures of her, she's an orange tabby.

    Well, when they were about to do the spay, the call was made that they should currently be doing a neuter.

    [​IMG]

    THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHIIIIIING

    So topaz is a dude.

    Can't wait to say "Nani?! Otokonoko da?!" to him when we get back.
     
  16. PreciousEgg

    PreciousEgg Well-Known Member

    You have a Trap Cat. A damn trap cat. There's a limit to how lucky someone can be.
     
  17. TurkeyGami

    TurkeyGami Well-Known Member

    [​IMG]

    @Zed60K and I both have something to be happy about now
     
  18. AdmiralMuffin

    AdmiralMuffin Well-Known Member

    O-Oh no... Oh no no no no...
     
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  19. TurkeyGami

    TurkeyGami Well-Known Member

    Don't get the wrong Idea, you know how much I hate felix! The whole cat thing ruins everything!
    [​IMG]
     
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  20. AdmiralMuffin

    AdmiralMuffin Well-Known Member

    Sure. Whatever you say, Turkey-para.
     
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