Juuni Taisen: Zodiac War

Episode 5
"The Zodiac War is a war for war's sake. Apart from the prize, I guess. And we're taking bets. Also, it's a proxy war that also represents other wars as a metawar. So, not really war for its own sake."

Even the Engrish sucks and fails to spark joy within me. I'm disliking this that much.

HANDHELD VIDEO GAMES ARE NOTHING LIKE BLOWING PEOPLE UP FOR REALS? SAY IT AIN'T SO!

Unnatural cut? A cut is by its very... nature, unnatural. I give up.
 
Episode 6
Ox being dressed as a matador is annoying be a lot. Obviously they gave up with thematic outfits for him, and went with someone who kills oxen instead of anything reminiscent of the animal itself.

I liked Tiger more before she started talking. Now she's lost all charm.

Monkey died. I like her more after her passing.

Sheep died. I am saddened by his loss, as it means less explosions.

Rat does not understand metal. What else is new?

Survival without life is worthless. Rat finally said something slightly worthwhile.

Jet fuel may or may not be able to melt steel rods, but fire can de-oxygenate a horse. Shame, since he had the coolest superpower of all: to be able to tell if something is burning or something is being burned.

Episode 7
The twins sure are interesting characters. They have the combined charisma of wet paper towels, and are as engaging as reading comparative reviews of toothpastes.

Calling Snake hot? My opinion of Tiger has plunged to even further depths.

Aaaand it went up to heights hitherto unknown by drinking flamer fuel. Attagirl!

I like how they're super warriors and can't escape a basic choke hold (100% no limit use of power. In a broken muscle. Yeah, that'll be a lot. And that joint movement looked great). Maybe... claw them off since you can slice right through bone? Or just set shit on fire and don't hope your bra won't catch on fire. That also works
 
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Episode 8
That is one lax courtroom regarding trials in absentia. Not that I expect it to be a proper courtroom, but rather arbitration.

I had to take a break and make a bean salad. Proper courtroom drama, this is not. As expected of a truly "mature", "gritty", "realistic", "dark", "thoughtful", "well-researched" anime. (I'm fine with gritty works made as a vehicle for an author's ideologies. In theory. In theory! In practice, it's most often turds like this, with an author assuming authority by contriving silly situations and thinking that it can be extrapolated to life in general.)

Something something orphans or whatever. I had to go and boil some eggs. It mirrors the Snake and Dragon brothers in that... well, they are both a pair of siblings. Makes you think, right?

The courtroom antics made me wish for more thoughtful and legally correct fare, like Matlock. Or the Chewbacca Defence in South Park. Anyway, "we're a bunch of callous murderers, of course we must be held to different standards" is the voice of every PMC apologist ever, may they die a painful death. Hard to think a lawyer getting stumped by such a kindergarten-level retort, too. Maybe they should have sent in a kindergarten teacher instead?

KILL IT WITH FIRE! I mean, kill it again.

That leather jacket sure is hot, Tiger. You're on fire tonight!

Lastly, I have something to applaud this anime for: not telling us how Snake follows Rat, because everyone can see that he's listening for vibrations, like a snake. Good luck doing that without hands!

Zed60K said:
I know @HasseRovdjur is two years late to the party, but it feels like he was always there with us.
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I hope you all can relive and revisit your memories through me.
 
Episode 9
What's the point of flying if you're just gonna make yourself a stationary target by hovering? What a waste of a neat power.

Newsflash: war is bad and infinitely dehumanising and the pursuit of honourable combat is mostly faff because mankind is irredeemably evil. Just become an alcoholic! If only hat stuck-up dojo nerd could see that!

Took Rabbit long enough to die. Also, what happened to Monkey's corpse?
 
Episode 10
Fucking Ox, don't knock teenage alcoholism until you've tried it.

"Overly genius philosophy." Oh, NisiOisin, I'm not sure whether you flatter yourself or not, but I'm sure you're fellating yourself. As can be evidenced about the verbiage regarding how all-important intent is (Not an uncontroversial or settled opinion in law and ethics, but I don't think light novel authors actually read much. Or observe the world around them other than when trying to latch onto the newest trend.)

"Stay away from battlefields." That's some brain-damaged privilege you're spouting there, Ox.

Ugh, Tiger keeps failing to be entertaining. This whole "but for me, it was Tuesday" schtick only works if Raul Julia is involved. At least her death scene is both accidentally and intentionally full of bathos. Bah, she's not dead yet? Good thing Ox knows how to treat someone suffering from major trauma and blood loss. Running towards an unstaffed hospital and never putting any pressure on a wound seems like the way to go! Besides, she'll be dead from the poison anyway.

Wow, that is some great telling and not showing about autonecromancy. Sheesh, I'm not one for hard rules for magic, but I do like magic to be free of pants-on-head levels of stupidity. If someone had pulled that in a D&D campaign, I would have walked out and called them a poopooface.
 
HasseRovdjur said:
Episode 10
Fucking Ox, don't knock teenage alcoholism until you've tried it.

"Overly genius philosophy." Oh, NisiOisin, I'm not sure whether you flatter yourself or not, but I'm sure you're fellating yourself. As can be evidenced about the verbiage regarding how all-important intent is (Not an uncontroversial or settled opinion in law and ethics, but I don't think light novel authors actually read much. Or observe the world around them other than when trying to latch onto the newest trend.)

"Stay away from battlefields." That's some brain-damaged privilege you're spouting there, Ox.

Ugh, Tiger keeps failing to be entertaining. This whole "but for me, it was Tuesday" schtick only works if Raul Julia is involved. At least her death scene is both accidentally and intentionally full of bathos. Bah, she's not dead yet? Good thing Ox knows how to treat someone suffering from major trauma and blood loss. Running towards an unstaffed hospital and never putting any pressure on a wound seems like the way to go! Besides, she'll be dead from the poison anyway.

Wow, that is some great telling and not showing about autonecromancy. Sheesh, I'm not one for hard rules for magic, but I do like magic to be free of pants-on-head levels of stupidity. If someone had pulled that in a D&D campaign, I would have walked out and called them a poopooface.
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You're still free to call Nisioisin an unkoface.
 
Episode 11
Rabbit is a rational actor because the narrative twists itself inside out to let Ox blabber about his motives a lot. Ox sure likes to debate semantics with himself. Rat sure likes to yammer about being indebted to other fighters, but only partially, because apparently NisiOisin's verbiage has its limits. I sure like to piss on this show. Maybe I should think about the routes in which I am positive towards anime that I find severely lacking in quality? Nah, fuck that noise.

Rat is the worst at naming his stand.


ZetsubouKaiji said:
You're still free to call Nisioisin an unkoface.
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I'm currently calling him far worse names than that.

Episode 12
What is a wish? Can the nature of a wish be perverted? Can you overthink things? Can unlimited options lead to analysis paralysis, and what does that say about our world? Riveting questions, not posed in an interesting way, for that is the light novel way.

In the end, Rat's neurotic nature led him to make a wish to forget about responsibilities, choices, and opportunities, but more importantly, the Zodiac War. If only we could forget about it as well.

Secret Santa review coming... idk.
 
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randomredneck said:
We were all cringe when we first joined. Just take heart that you never said "Who the hell are you?" to the person who runs the site.
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I only wish I had such an iconic moment as that to look back on and laugh, none of my cringe moments I remember were very laughable.
 
Rascal said:
I only wish I had such an iconic moment as that to look back on and laugh, none of my cringe moments I remember were very laughable.
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But the fact that you cringe at your past self means that you've grown since then, and you should take pride in that
 
I like to think I'm a smart girl and can pick up patterns, and I think I would have figured out who was going to kick the bucket next, but the show made it easier for me by

showing the characters in death order in the ending (boar, dog, chicken, etc.) It kind of ruined the surprise of each episode but hey - the episode titles didn't keep secrets either.

The ending left me feeling a little miffed too. I'm all for the 'lesson' the show gave at its close but at the end of an action show? Kind of dumb to make that specific wish imo. And this is from someone who has to use Wheel Decide for what anime to watch next sometimes. I'm indecisive as heck.
 
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