Maddiemouse

Two squirrels are fighting to the death in my bird feeder right now and I think I’m finally ready to get rid of cable TV.

I want to be that grandma someday that everyone is afraid to take out in public.

If I have to be awake, everyone has to be awake. – birds

"A lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right, and evil doesn't become good, just because it's accepted by a majority."-Someone

Why are the people on soap operas always CEOs? Does nobody work at Walmart?

All the Attack on titans' openings make me feel patriotic for a nation that doesn't exist.

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“The world isn’t perfect. But it’s there for us, doing the best it can….that’s what makes it so damn beautiful.” – Roy Mustang

The amount of time my smartphone spends plugged in charging, you might as well want to call it a Land-line.

“Don’t give up, there’s no shame in falling down! The true shame is to not stand up again!” – Shintaro Midorima

Just checked my bank account and it looks like everyone is getting text messages for Christmas.

I just spilled my protein shake all over myself and all I’m saying is a donut would never do this to me...

The secret to looking younger is telling people that you are older.

My gardening skills improved since the quarantine. I planted myself on the sofa in April and have grown bigger ever since...

“The difference between the novice and the master is that the master has failed more times than the novice has tried.” -Koro-sensei

"Hey, you spiky, aloe vera b*stard! Where the hell's Sasuke?" - Naruto Uzumaki ( Naruto )

Someone probably choked to death on food in the Death Star cafeteria and everyone thought it was Vader doing it.

The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.

“I don’t wanna brag or anything, but when it comes to being the worst – I’m at the top.” – Rider Astolfo (Fate Apocrypha)

It only takes one slow walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I’m a nice person...