UniversalParanoia1

UniversalParanoia1

Well-Known Member 20 From Forgot Where I Am Again
Joined
Messages
4,500
Reaction score
35,269
Points
113

Profile posts Latest activity Postings About

  • UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    View previous comments…
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "Canti, they're coming!". The helicopter shoots 2 of its missiles and that's when you signal Bill to shoot the flares. Ah, they're homing missiles and following the flare away from the hovercraft. "It worked!" says Bill all excited! Canti speedboat hovercraft versus a helicopter, who is your money on?
    UniversalParanoia1
    UniversalParanoia1
    @Gozza my money is on Canti of course!
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    Hmmmmm.... do I want to get rich fast?
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight! We’re all emos now with this dark mode!
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    G'night m'lady! May you have sweet dreams about looking for a way out of mushroom land. "What do we do team? Follow the river and see where we end up or do we look for a portal... or maybe even that elevator?", you ask your friends. Canti throws a few legs up in the air and shrugs... "Beep boop?"
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "Hmmm... fair point Canti! What do you think dapper owl?". "I'm not a fan of portals or elevators m'lady", as he flaps his wings a little to show that he's a bird and rather not wants to be 'caged' up. You look at Bill and Bill just shrugs at you as well, "I'm just glad my head is somewhat attached to my body again".
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "Alright! Canti! I've made my decision! Transform into a hovercraft! We're going to check out the river!". Canti turns himself into a hovercraft and still tries to help you on board with one of his long legs. Bill, as usual, oddly flips himself inside the hovercraft while the dapper owl flies Ratatarapatoskr right behind you. "Let's go fam!"
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    Gens
    Gens
    Since I'm turning 28 years old tomorrow, I'm going to wish you goodnight by bonking you on the head with my old woman cane!
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    Oh shit! Good night m'ladies! May you both have sweet dreams about both enjoying a giant piece of birthday cake, doing some karaoke and following it up with a movie and/or anime night! Sweet dreams :)
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    G'night m'lady! May you have sweet dreams about waiting to see what zombie Bill says after you bonked 'm on the head with your already broken guitar. Zombie Bill grabs his head with both hands and makes some zombie-like noises, "UuuuUuuuraagghhh...". Zombie bill then tries to stretch his arms and notices you staring at you. "M'lady... Why are you staring at me?". You can't help but smile...
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "Bill, how many fingers am I holding up" as you wave your middle finger in front of 'm. "One? And that's not very nice m'lady Unipararara". Your smile gets even bigger... "Seems I fixed you, Bill!". "You did what m'lady?". "I fixed you! By smacking you with my 1967 Model Mustang!". Zombie Bill keeps staring you, all confused. "But I fixed you! That's all that matters!"
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    View previous comments…
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    G'night m'lady! May you have sweet dreams about staring at zombie Bill, who you have just hit with your guitar. It freed Ratatarapatoskr the rapper from his awkward situation but now zombie Bill has a floating head... "Sorry eh". "Oh no, he really did turn into a Canadian..."
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "How's Ratatarapatoskr doing?" as you look over to the dapper owl and Canto who are both still looking away from you and zombie Bill. "I'll go have a look for you m'lady", says the dapper owl and wobbles over to the bright yellow looking squirrel who seems to have landed on his head and his little legs are still poking straight up in the air.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "Oh my... What happened? I remember drinking coffee with the princess, waiting for the elevator to come down from the top floor but.. how did we end up here?". "Sorry eh". "It's okay Bill... ". "Sorry eh". "Bill, if you say that one more time, I'm going to hit you with this guitar again". "S-s-s-sorry e-e-eh". BOINK!
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    View previous comments…
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    Then you take 2 big steps back and you start twirling your guitar around. Bill knows what's coming and doesn't seem to be too thrilled about it. Canti and the dapper owl just turn around, they don't even want to see what you're up to. You let the guitar slide down into your hands and start playing the intro to The Third Eye by The Pillows.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    It's a miracle that your guitar is still playable since it's been through quite a few battles. The tune your playing doesn't sound too bad either. Alright, deep breath. You grab the guitar by its neck and you start rushing towards zombie Bill. With a perfectly placed hit, you manage to hit the part that looks like it could belong to Ratatarapatoskr the rapper.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    You actually manage to do it, you managed to separate Ratatarapatoskr from Zombie Bill's body. There still seems to be one problem though, zombie Bill doesn't seem to have a neck. His head is just floating about his body. "Bill, are you ok?". The floating zombie head looks at you and nods... Oh no, you turned zombie Bill into a Canadian!
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    View previous comments…
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    You ask the dapper owl to come over and you grab him with both hands and stuff your face in his feather. The feathers tickle your nose and it's making you sneeze, resulting in a spiderweb shooting out of your mouth and landing on Bill's neck area. You grab Ratatarapatoskr 's body and stick it on top of Zombie Bill's neck. "Ta-daaaaa!!! Problem solved!"
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    The dapper owl and Canti take a moment to take it all in but they both don't look too excited about this new creation of yours. A Zombie Bill's body with a Ratatarapatoskr the rapper neck and Zombie Bill head to top it off. Oh dear...
    Oceanwithwaves
    Oceanwithwaves
    Good night!
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    View previous comments…
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    G'night m'lady! May you have sweet dreams about wanting to continue your fight with the butterfly. "Oh no!!", says the butterfly. "What's your problem!? She was no threat to you anymore! She couldn't even defend herself. There is no honor in that!". You act is if you're wiping your nose while grinning mischievously.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "It was the only way I could shut her up... she insists on babbling about that ridiculous legend!" you reply. "There is no such thing as a super Sa.. p-princess!". You give the butterfly another death stare and that's when the dapper owl jumps up and screams at you to hold up.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    The dapper owl runs over to you with a few pages in his little beak and hands it to you. You grab the pages and start scanning through the text that's written on it. "M'lady, you and the butterfly flipped roles. You're supposed to be the Goku character and the butterfly is supposed to be the Frieza character...".
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    G'night m'lady! May you have sweet dreams about grabbing your loyal broken guitar and walking over to Umbrella Samantha who is still coughing on the floor. You step on her foot which results in making her stand up. You take your foot off of her foot and hit her in the face with your guitar.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    Umbrella Samantha didn't put up any resistance, so she's flying through the air at an insane speed. Then, sirens go off... "Cops?! lol". Yup, cops... and they're now chasing Umbrella Samantha. You look very pleased with yourself, "I guess that takes care of 1 problem... The other problem... where were we?"
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    View previous comments…
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "And you fought the me from a different timeline, send her to buy the me from this timeline some time to fight the butterfly... but I failed you, the me from the different timeline and... myself". Umbrella Samantha tries to reach out to you as she's making some awkward noises but then her arm drops to the ground.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    You walk over to Umbrella Samantha and poke her in the side. "EEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!" as Umbrella Samantha starts to kick her arms and legs into the air. You let out another loud sigh, "Goddamnit bitch, just die already"
    UniversalParanoia1
    UniversalParanoia1
    @Gozza Umbrella Samantha: The Bitch That Never Dies
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    View previous comments…
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    Your friends are jumping all over the place, scared to get hit. One of the laser beams just misses the dapper owl, who is starting to sweat like crazy (sweating owls, uh-huh). You hear an odd chuckle coming from your left. As you look over you see Umbrella Samantha on the floor, holding her stomach and in a lot of pain. "Who would have thought, a lonely soldier like you Princess Unipara... I commend you!"
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    Umbrella Samantha tries to mutter some words, "Butterfly, you fool! You just don't get it, do you? Princess Unipara isn't a normal Sai-y... princess!". Umbrella Samantha tries to sit up, to have a better look at the butterfly. "She's a super princess!". The butterfly opens its mouth in shock.
    UniversalParanoia1
    UniversalParanoia1
    @Gozza Is Umbrella Samantha......PRAISING ME? Woah
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    G'night m'lady! May you have sweet dreams about watching a giant caterpillar turning into a mean-looking butterfly in front of you. The caterpillar flies up into the sky, it's aura is getting brighter by the minute. You do some fancy hand movements which make not only your eyes glow red but your whole body now too.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "Shall we proceed?" asks the caterpillar and you want to reply with "Your call..." but the caterpillar already swoops down with a kick. It misses though and you vanish into thin, reappearing a second later right behind the caterpillar. You caught the caterpillar by surprise and this time you kick him in the face.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    The caterpillar gets kicked up in the air but because it can fly it lands gently on the ground, just out of your reach. The dapper owl and Canti's eyes are glued on the fight that's playing out in front of them. "Amazing, I couldn't follow an of it! How about you?". "Beep-boop!" replies Canti to the dapper owl.
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    View previous comments…
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    G'night m'lady! May you have sweet dreams about being asked by a caterpillar to find a shrubbery. You're getting rather annoyed by the caterpillar's request and reply to the request with a firm no. "Fine! Young lady Uniparararara! Since you're being extremely disrespectful towards me and my cat, I will fight you... TO THE DEATH!"
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    The caterpillar starts to scream loudly and a weird yellow aura starts to form around the caterpillar. There are small cracks appearing and the caterpillar also starts to blow out more smoke for dramatic effect. The caterpillar's skin starts to shatter and 2 giant wings start to form on its back.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    The dramatic music changes its tune slightly, a slower beat but there is also a breeze now going through your hair and your eyes are starting to glow red again.
    UniversalParanoia1
    GoodnIght!
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    G'night m'lady! May you have sweet dreams about staring down a giant caterpillar, who thinks he still has the upper hand in the conversation. "Now, now m'lady Uniparararara... That's not how we do things here in the mushroom forest". "What is it that you want mister caterpillar?". "Well, m'lady Uniparararara... I want you to bring me a..."
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "Shrubbery!!!!"

    *Dramatic music plays in the background*
    Ebonyslayer
    Ebonyslayer
    And then that giant caterpillar was smoking a drag.
    UniversalParanoia1
    Goodnight!
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    G'night m'lady! May you have sweet dreams about staring at a giant smoking caterpillar, sitting on top of a giant mushroom. It's clear that you two dislike each other and you're currently stuck in a glaring contest. The caterpillar takes another big puff from his hooka and blows the smoke in your direction yet again.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    This time, however, you see 2 giant eyes and a giant grin moving along with the smoke. "Greetings purrincess Unipurrararara...". A catlike figure starts to climb out of the smoke but you don't hesitate for a second. You quickly stick your hand back into your pants and pull the guitar that you broke earlier out of it and start wacking the cat on the head.
    ACrankyOldMan
    ACrankyOldMan
    "Yo, I've seen some trippy shit on this dream journey but this is taking it all a step too far". The cat has phased in completely but is also on the ground, flat as a pancake. "Listen, mister caterpillar. Just tell us where the exit is and the cat will be the only casualty!". "Hmmmmm....."
  • Loading…
  • Loading…
  • Loading…
Back
Top