Is it the physical differences that you don't want? Or is it some of the dynamics that are more of the issue?
Broadly, I would recommend est em's work. I'm particularly fond of
Red Blinds the Foolish, but
Tableau Numero 20 is also excellent and a lot easier to find. Tomoko Yamashita also tends not to go into the uke/seme thing and both
Dining Bar Akira and
The Night Beyond the Tricornered Window are good reads (though the latter may not be the kind of story you're after, it's a bit of an oddball for bl).
10 Dance doesn't have the physical differences going on, but there's talk of leading and following and such (with personal pride tangled up in it) bc it's a ballroom manga.
Escape Journey has its issues, but the characters are equally matched.
I Didn't Mean to Fall in Love is sweet - the differences come from experience level - and
Born to Love You is also good. There are loads of others that could suit your tastes, these are just a few I've read recently.
Honestly, if you stick to newer titles, it's relatively easy to find titles without that sort of dynamic or that deliberately play around with it. Are there kinds of stories that you're more into that you're looking for?
