WRMD
I have 20 dollars to my name, I wasn't joking about that, so I pretty much just can't eat like I normally would until later next time I get paid and even then all my expenses are enough that I'll run out by the next paycheck again. I have to only work part time in order to do all the studying I have to when it isn't summer. It sucks because if I'm starving at the end of a shift I can't buy anything rn.
So there I was, about to clock off in like 30 minutes, when suddenly behind me, a small family of seasoned bagels just poofed- appeared out of nowhere, all stacked up on the self checkout register behind me. Out of the bag. Three of them.
And they were seasoned with like, the most dense smelling seasoning that bagels could have. They smelled like a well made carnival treat, and someone had just taken them out of the bag and stacked them on the register, and then fucked off. It was like my nose was being pulled in by a cartoon invisible hand made of scents all loony-tunes style. I could feel my stomach lurch out of my body to get at them. It was real shit. The universe was fucking with me.
I was starving. But I couldn't throw them away or anything so I just had to sit there staring at them for about a half hour until I could put them in claims and then go home and binge-eat some leftover pizza. But until that happened, just... there. After every bottle of alcohol I ID checked, they were still there. Now, I'm not a violent man, nor am I a criminal, but in that moment I could feel two very distinct strong emotions. One, the feeling of well, maybe I could find a place around here the cameras don't cover and go to town on one of these fuckers.
And two, what kind of sadistic pricktard would gaslight me with such an atrocity, I sure do wish to have some choice fisticuffs with him. This should be obstruction of self checkout. Why. Just why would you do this.
Those were satan's bagels from hell I tell you. Temptation was almost too strong for this turkey. But I refrained. And I had the aforementioned pizza binge.