Ultimate Teacher

Alt title: Kyoufu no Bio Ningen Saishuu Kyoushi

OVA (1 ep x 56 min)
2.666 out of 5 from 378 votes
Rank #14,242

Teioh High School is renowned as being the worst educational institute in all of Kanto, and its principal has given up hope as the teachers abandon him one by one. That is, until a crazy and mysterious man named Ganpachi Chabane arrives, promising a new era of discipline for the unruly students despite his shadowy history. His unusual techniques are not received well and Hinako, a beautiful gang leader, uses her unrivalled strength to dispose of this new ultimate teacher. Can she still defeat this perverted man once he discovers her cotton-wearing weakness?

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Demograph: 15+ Let's be clear from the start that this OVA is trashy. It is totally shit. But it never pretends to be anything other than a joke, and the way it handles itself makes it nothing less than hilariously good! Story 7/10 I had to artificially inflate the score for the story to justify the 7.5/10 overall; but if we consider the story to be the general content then I think that is okay. I don't know where my love for this anime comes from, exactly. I bought it when it came out in the UK, in about 1995/6, and nearly cried with joy when I managed to get hold of a new copy recently. The story is nothing short of lightweight. The Ultimate Teacher is actually a lab experiment to cross a cockroach with a man for some reason. The result is a badass bulky bastard who fears nothing and will eat anything. He applies for and gets a job as a teacher in a shockingly bad school (makes the one I work at look like a creche). But has the Ultimate Teacher bitten off more than he can chew with the velvet-pussy panties wearing, quietly intelligent head of the class? Well, yes, obviously. Actually the velvet-pussy panties line only applies to the american dub (which is abnormally funny). The Japanese go for the much less exciting lucky kitty gym shorts. Imagine my disappointment. Anyway that is it. That's the story. It's fleshed out slightly with flashbacks and the arrival of the scientist who created the lead (himself crossed with a spider - web comes out of his arse), and a couple of embarrassing moments for the lead girl when her panties are revealed. But if the writers tried to do anything else it would be too cluttered. If they tried to make it any more intelligent it would be retarded. And if they changed it in any way it just wouldn't be the awesome feat of animated tomfoolery that it is! Animation 7/10 Well, it looks shit but it's pretty standard from that period of anime. The designs are solid and a slew of background characters keep things interesting (especially in the dub). Sound 6/10 Again, the American dub is really, really funny (many recognisable voices from early 90s anime, too). The music, however, is bloody terrible. Is there anything else to say? Characters 7.5/10 The characters are half the story. There are loads of them, and they all have very individual designs and personalities. They carry out the "wacky" humour with cool charm, and look completely at home in their universe. The back story for the velvet-pussy panties is downright touching - she wanted to fight the boys but she kept flashing her all too feminine knickers! Overall 7.5/10 As I said, I don't know why I love this so much, or why the humour hits me just right, but this is one of my favourite animes (or at least drunk animes). Sure, it isn't perfect. Some of the random humour is just that - not calculatedly funny, just "uh... let's make this happen, I guess that would be kind of zany" - all the skeletons falling out of the walls near the beginning for instance; was there a reason for that? Also, perhaps the last 10-15 minutes needs tightening up a little. But apart from those small problems this is a must see. Don't expect anything at all intelligent, or any kind of message (except that using huge boxes of matches makes you look cool) and you won't be disappointed. I am very glad I have got this anime again.


            The best example of an anime that could only exist as an Original Video Animation (OVA).              The impact that common home video has had on the entertainment industry is immeasurable. Before VCRs and other home video systems, the only ways to watch a movie were to see it in the theatre or to watch it on TV. Home video existed before the 1970s but was limited in what was allowed to be watched at home. The most common home video was restricted to shorts, old cartoons and highlight reels from popular movies. After home video systems became common, a new field of entertainment became available. The restrictions that were placed on movies and TV did not exist for home video, as these tapes were designed to be seen at home. This lack of restrictions meant that any kind of content, from children’s entertainment to exercise videos to religious propaganda, was available for anyone who had the right equipment. The flexibility of home video allowed tapes to range from five minutes to regular movie length. Previously unsuccessful movies became successful on home video, spawning ‘cults’ of fans.             Home video created a new type of outlet available for anime. Through home video, studios were able to create anime that would have had no potential to be released on a wide scale as a full-length movie or on TV. These OVAs could range from promo anime for fans of a franchise to short genre movies. The lack of restrictions on subject matter meant that OVA studios competed with major studios in escalating the violence and sex content for anime to gain an audience. Many of these anime, from the goofy and incomplete Garzey’s Wing to the gory and incomprehensible Ninja Resurrection, were imported to the United States, creating an everlasting stigma of anime as a specialist hobby for people who wanted to see bloody cartoons filled with graphic sex. An example of an OVA that gained popularity in the US is Bubblegum Crisis, a six-part OVA series that used violence and sex appeal as selling points.             What does this history have to do with The Ultimate Teacher (Teacher)? This is supposed to be a joke anime with gross humor and bizarre fights. Killer delinquents rebel against a mutant teacher trying to reform the school. At its heart, Teacher is a loose comedy without direction or plot to get in the way of the jokes. Teacher is too long to be shown on regular TV, but too short to be released as a movie in a theatre. Understanding that this was released as an OVA helps to clear the mystery of how this anime could be released. This does not make the experience less strange, but the logic behind making this anime is more transparent.             Is The Ultimate Teacher worth watching? It is worth a watch for the first thirty minutes. Describing the OVA is to defeat the purpose of the comedy, which is to shock you and make you shake your head in disbelief. I recommend this for otaku wanting to be slapped across the face by an old school crazy comedy.

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