Ultimate Teacher

Alt title: Kyoufu no Bio Ningen Saishuu Kyoushi

OVA (1 ep x 56 min)
2.603 out of 5 from 380 votes
Rank #17,718

Teioh High School is renowned as being the worst educational institute in all of Kanto, and its principal has given up hope as the teachers abandon him one by one. That is, until a crazy and mysterious man named Ganpachi Chabane arrives, promising a new era of discipline for the unruly students despite his shadowy history. His unusual techniques are not received well and Hinako, a beautiful gang leader, uses her unrivalled strength to dispose of this new ultimate teacher. Can she still defeat this perverted man once he discovers her cotton-wearing weakness?

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Demograph: 15+ Let's be clear from the start that this OVA is trashy. It is totally shit. But it never pretends to be anything other than a joke, and the way it handles itself makes it nothing less than hilariously good! Story 7/10 I had to artificially inflate the score for the story to justify the 7.5/10 overall; but if we consider the story to be the general content then I think that is okay. I don't know where my love for this anime comes from, exactly. I bought it when it came out in the UK, in about 1995/6, and nearly cried with joy when I managed to get hold of a new copy recently. The story is nothing short of lightweight. The Ultimate Teacher is actually a lab experiment to cross a cockroach with a man for some reason. The result is a badass bulky bastard who fears nothing and will eat anything. He applies for and gets a job as a teacher in a shockingly bad school (makes the one I work at look like a creche). But has the Ultimate Teacher bitten off more than he can chew with the velvet-pussy panties wearing, quietly intelligent head of the class? Well, yes, obviously. Actually the velvet-pussy panties line only applies to the american dub (which is abnormally funny). The Japanese go for the much less exciting lucky kitty gym shorts. Imagine my disappointment. Anyway that is it. That's the story. It's fleshed out slightly with flashbacks and the arrival of the scientist who created the lead (himself crossed with a spider - web comes out of his arse), and a couple of embarrassing moments for the lead girl when her panties are revealed. But if the writers tried to do anything else it would be too cluttered. If they tried to make it any more intelligent it would be retarded. And if they changed it in any way it just wouldn't be the awesome feat of animated tomfoolery that it is! Animation 7/10 Well, it looks shit but it's pretty standard from that period of anime. The designs are solid and a slew of background characters keep things interesting (especially in the dub). Sound 6/10 Again, the American dub is really, really funny (many recognisable voices from early 90s anime, too). The music, however, is bloody terrible. Is there anything else to say? Characters 7.5/10 The characters are half the story. There are loads of them, and they all have very individual designs and personalities. They carry out the "wacky" humour with cool charm, and look completely at home in their universe. The back story for the velvet-pussy panties is downright touching - she wanted to fight the boys but she kept flashing her all too feminine knickers! Overall 7.5/10 As I said, I don't know why I love this so much, or why the humour hits me just right, but this is one of my favourite animes (or at least drunk animes). Sure, it isn't perfect. Some of the random humour is just that - not calculatedly funny, just "uh... let's make this happen, I guess that would be kind of zany" - all the skeletons falling out of the walls near the beginning for instance; was there a reason for that? Also, perhaps the last 10-15 minutes needs tightening up a little. But apart from those small problems this is a must see. Don't expect anything at all intelligent, or any kind of message (except that using huge boxes of matches makes you look cool) and you won't be disappointed. I am very glad I have got this anime again.

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