StoryWatching Saishuu Shiken Kujira is pretty much like giving yourself the ultimate facepalm - except that your hand is covered in knives which are covered in hydrochloric acid. Following in the footsteps of such gems as Alice and Wild Cardz, SSK easily manages to capture a coveted BOS (bag of... excrement) title and take its place on the wall of suck.Picture, if you will, a whale in the sky. Now picture it with bulging breasts and exposed panties....well ok, maybe the two aren't combined, but those two items pretty much sum up the entirety of SSK. This wacky and clever plot device is introduced to us in episode one, and is never fully explained (the complete suckass excuse for a story twist at the end of the "series" doesn't count). The rest of the episodes, with the exception of the last two, follow Kounji as he gapes at bulging breasts, panties, and excessive amounts of loli characters in swimsuits. None of these episodes are tied together in any sort of meaningful way, yet they aren't nearly interesting enough to garner the attention of even hardcore ecchi fans - or so I'd guess. Even if you are the kind of person who would never miss a panty shot and thinks the whale idea sounds peachy keen (what?!), you will still probably be turned off by SSK's home run: the plethora of obnoxious whiny girl characters who, in my opinion, should be shot out of a cannon (after being set on fire) into a pool of gasoline - which is also inhabited by alligators. Each of these elements combines to form a disjointed viewing in which nothing really happens. Kuonji interacts with various girls (usually one per episode), hangs out at the beach, and then at the end becomes involved in some kind of zOMG epic encounter that involves the whale. It's boring, it's uninteresting, and even the ecchi can't save how utterly useless the rest of the anime is. 1 point for the ecchi, -9 for everything else. AnimationThough the character designs are generic, there's nothing bad to say about SSK's animation. Since the point of the series is the ecchi, great care is put into the portrayal of panties and cleavage. Conveniently angled shots are used on a regular basis to maximize the ecchi exposure, and overall any fans of the genre will appreciate what they see. Vibrant colors are used beautifully, and the contrast of characters against a green field or the blue ocean is stunning. There's nothing outstanding about SSK's animation, but its effectiveness for the ecchi scenes alone makes it worth a 7.SoundLike its "quirky" and confusing story, SSK's soundtrack is often comprised of strange noises. Most of the time, however, you can expect much more standard fare - usually light synth tracks. +6 points. -50,000 points for the most-obnoxious-ever voice acting of just about every female involved. Typical whiny moe girls - you know the type: super nasal, hesitant, drippy punch-me-in-the-face-now-please sirens of vomit - manage to offend the ears at least 75% of most of the episodes. Not since Excel's grating bravado have I been so irritated that I often muted the volume. CharactersTepid, boring conversations between mentally-stunted lolis and the nosebleed-prone Kuonji? Check! Random characters thrown in at the end that have seemingly no connection to anything? Check! Relationships you don't care about between people you don't care about? Check!There's not much else to say folks.OverallIf you enjoy ingesting bottles of poison while masturbating to lolis in swimsuits, you might enjoy SSK. Otherwise, the lack of plot, confusing flow of events, substandard characters and grab bag ending make SSK a total failure.
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