Warning: due to the sophisticatedly complex nature of this show there WILL be heavy plot reveals in the review below! Preset your ovens to 'Spoiler', kiddies, as you have been warned.
Due the the episodic nature of the show I have decided to do something different this time and give you a quick, yet detailed episode review as it releases every week. Final thoughts and grading after the show has finished entirely, but for now, enjoy!
03/04/2017 - EP01: Souryo to Majiwaru Shikiyoku no Yoru ni...(SMSY) starts off on a cheerful reunion between classmates from middle school. Our pink-haired and busty protagonist Mio starts off by saying that she has no memories of her childhood, indicating that she is suffering from amnesia, is chronically narcoleptic or has been in a coma for the past 5 years of her life.
We then find out that she has had a crush on a very handsome classmate Kujo-kun back in middle school, but has never had the courage to confess and thus her love was forever unrequited. Luckily the said person is also present at the drinking parlor where the reunion's held so old sparks start flying again. Next a hat gets stolen for a brief period of time and it is then revealed that Kujo is actually Saitama, the one and only One Punch Man! is bald and is apparently working as a priest at a temple. All dreams and hopes are then crushed because shinto priests have forever sworn a vow of celibacy.
Completely bummed out and hammered to boot, our sulky heroine is shambling back to her apartment only to find herself in mortal peril after bumping her knee on a store sign. Enter a familiar voice where Kujo, the knight in shining armor, comes to her rescue and escorts the downed damsel safely to her crib.
After laying the drunken missus in her resting chamber he offers Mio a glass of water by the most unconventional means of a mouth-to-mouth procedure. Shocked and confused Mio asks her rescuer if they should proceed with the unholy debacle that clearly contradicts everything a priest stands for. With a reassuring gaze and a soft whisper, Kujo tells Mio that he's a man first and a priest second. One saliva exchange, a bitten bun and a prickled peach later, the screen fades to black with the viewer's assumption that the enamored couple has proceeded to do what comes naturally in this situation.
10/04/2017 - EP02: It comes to no surprise that even priests need love, marriage and lovely-dovey snuggles. Through a sequence of still frames we find some deep character development where the couple swears to keep this relationship a tight secret whilst Kujo exchanges deep vows of love to the lady. Mio then proceeds to having a brief amnesia stroke where she claims yet again not remembering her childhood. The sequence is then continued by a hilarious minute of experimental animation where Kujo explains the origins of his hairstyle to the audience.
During the episode's finale we find out that it's already morning and Mio has no university classes today. Kujo asks for her to follow him to a very special place which is later revealed to the shrine where he lives. The episode ends with a bombastic ending sequence that assaults both the visual and auditive senses.
10/04/2017 - EP03: Mio's introduced to Kujo's parents, he openly declares on marrying his fiancé soon. Later he explains to Mio that he is basically forced to find a wife and she's the prime candidate. Not knowing how to react to this news, Mio kind of spaces out and the scene trasits to the master bedroom. Mama Kujo wishes the couple to have fun and vanishes from the scene. Mio's quickly pinned to a wall by our chivalrous male protagonist who asks her is she knows how and would like to make children. Brilliant!
17/04/2017 - EP04: After some rather sucky advances from Kujo, Mio decides to go all philosophical. She starts contemplating how, despite her loving the guy, she's not sure if this 'relationship' based on lies and not love can continue like this. During a few brief seconds of more experimental animation we find out that Kujo is a priest from the future, most likely from the world akin to NES-era Legend of Zelda. Then our pink-haired heroine suddenly dashes out of the room, granting her dapper gent a pair of blue balloons. She then hangs outside a bit all moapy and filled with regret about her actions. Luckily Kujo, the hero that he is, goes to sleep on a sofa, granting his fiancé a good night's rest on a luxurious bed! Come next morning we have some hilarious hijinx where the two pretend to be a betrothed couple and the whole episode ends with Mama Kujo suggesting Mio to take a bath with her man.
21/04/2017 - EP05: Without a minute to spare the story picks up in a pretty average bathroom. Kujo, the stud that he is, is chilling in the bathroom, ready for something more if you catch my drift... Much to his dismay our spunky female lead is in a squatting position on the floor and very much confused, angry and upset. She vents her feelings out by saying she doesn't want to continue like this and a second later contemplates this by inner monologuing that she ...still kind of enjoys this charade? Kujo doesn't take any of this and gives her the 'stare'. Mio then goes all emotionally berserk on the guy, but is quickly silences after being graced by the man's noodly appearance. Then some tonguetwisters are exchanged and we are treated to a 25 second-long picture of Kujo over some highly naughty audio bits. (One can only venture to guess what they really mean). Then suddenly Mio is in shock as Kujo is trying to gulp her ear up completely! Quick cut to a minute-long experimental segment again where they talk about food. The episode ends with our hapless heroine being rescued once again! Her hero is shoving his hand into her throat to dislodge that chicken wing that got stuck in there during the scene transition.
01/05/2017 - EP06: Mio is sitting in her birthday suit outside of the bath and is about to cry. Suddenly a cut to the next morning! Our pink-haired maiden dashes out of the room at the sight of her Buddhist oppressor. Sensing that something's clearly amiss he follow her down the corridor. Here is where it all happens, true tears are shed, emotions are laid bare and true love is confrmed. Our star-ctossed lovers finally both confess that they have always loved one another but due to their shy nature, were never able to properly out their feelings, until today. With of their feelings, both past and present, cumulated and reaching their apex, the two set out for the master bedroom and for the first time ever weave a beautiful knot of love.
09/05/2017 - EP07: Some time has passed and our passionate protagonists have been finally engaged, Mio has moved in with Kujo and everything appears to be going hunky dory. During today's lengthy experimental animation segment du jour we delve further into the origins of the wooden fish, the unmissable mascot seen throughout the series on numerous occasions. Fish-kun, as we are going to call it from now on, appears to have been made out of rough alien diamond alloy and cannot be broken, shattered or blown up, not even by a single punch! Back to reality and our pink lady appears to be late for an appointment with her fiend. While chatting at a café, a mysterious black haired stranger appears. He hands Mio-senpai her notebook and caresses her gently on her face. After giving the two girls a radiant smile and telling them that he used to live at casa-de-Kujo in the past, the enigmatic boy walks off into he sunset. It is then explained that the youth is Yuki and he's super popular with the ladies. Despite obviously lending her textbook to him in the past, Mio simply doesn't have any recollection of this event, nor the boy she just met. The episode ends with our awestruck heroine lost in thought... while down the hall, concealed behind a wall the newly introduced Yuki give off a mischievous smile.
28/05/2017 - EP08: Today's episode puts our selfless warrior Kujo to test once more. Something's apparently stuck in Mio's ear, probably another piece of yesterday's dinner, as he is trying to fervently pull it out with his tongue.
As a wise man once said, 'to understand the present, we must also understand the past' and with that we flashback to this morning where we see our short skirted lead meeting a mysterious man in front of the shrine. The person in need is a salaryman looking to bring some cookies to his sick mother but it appears he forgot where she lives as he immediately asks Mio for directions. Luckily our of the our stoic priest enters the conversation and everything is solved immediately. Later that day we see our leading lady sitting in front of a laptop, either studying hard or watching some lolcat videos in dimly lit room. The lights flash and she is also joined by Kujo. He offers her some tutelage, they all blush and then the story return to where the episode began. Will we ever find out what was lodged into Mio's ear or what was the salaryman's real purpose when he visited the shrine? Only time will tell...
03/06/2017 - EP09: After a 30 second narration from a sinister voice with less than savory intentions, we cut back to Mio who seems to be burned out from studying. She decides to make dinner for her hubby but is foiled on her way to the kitchen by none other than the mysterious stranger we have met back in episode 7! After the two have a conversation on the porch, as he makes a move on our once again oblivious damsel, we find out that the ebony philanderer is none other than Kujo's kid brother, Yukitaka Kujo! Being able to foil Yuki's sinister plans, our bald savior Kujo once again prevents a disaster from happening but all is not yet calm. On her way to the lavatory, Mio is once again struck by our persistent villain. He sweet talks Mio into leaving Kujo's side and moving in with him, with a promise of a better future's than being a priest's wife. All hope seems lost as our pink-haired protagonist seems to crumble under Yuki's viles... but right at the brink of armagedon a light punctures darkness and Kujo manages to seize his brother in a tight grip, preventing further harm to his miotic muse. It appears that this tale can only conclude with a duel to the death between the two men. And only one of them can survive...
10/06/2017 - EP10: 'Are you THAT eager to die, Yuki?' Kujo asks his brother. 'You're my property, aren't you, Mio? he proceeds to asking his fiancé. 'I thought I could trust you, Mio, but I look away for one second and you are swooning in his arms, don't you trust me?'
And with that last sentence her world comes crashing down... 'T-trust you?!' she screams, 'aren't you the one who has no trust in me?' she strongly protests at her hairless betrothed. 'Then why don't we show how much we love one another in front of my brother?' Kujo interjects with a very strict and passionate tone. He grabs Mio and gives her a forced smooch, but our pinned heroine will have none of it! She pushes her assailant away and runs away into the night, leaving Yuki dumbfounded and Kujo filled with regret. The next morning all appears tiµo be forgotten, Yuki is nowhere to be seen and, back in her good spirits, Mio is informed by Mama Kujo that her wayward son has gone on a soul-searching journey (probably to atone for his behavior to Mio last night).
17/06/2017 - EP11: Kujo's seems to be away for quite some time on his spiritual trip... and suddenly he is back! With a single tadaima he barges through the front door and grabs his oblivious wife-to-be with a forceful grip. We then phase out into another delightful experimental animation about... cleaning as it clearly an analogy for everything that our male protagonist has learned on his pilgrimage of the soul! But a moment later the previous sequence appears to be a mere conjuncture of Mio's mind as she is all alone and agonizing over her man's absence.
Now still pining to be with her beloved, Mio is attending class but is approached by the wicked Yukikata who, with this brother gone, seems to be stalking her night and day. Later at her apartment, Yuki explains to Mio that his parents will be gone for their anniversary and that she will ultimately will have to make a choice between him or his brother. Out of respect for his elder sibling, Yukitaka asks Mio to choose his brother over him, but contradictory to his actions forces himself on Mio. She manages to hold the man off and uses some deeply psychological quotes she has read on a fortune cookie to break his mental will. Finally accepting his futile struggle to win her over, Yuki gives up and is consolidated by a gentle hug.
25/06/2017 - EP12: Our couple is reunited and they kiss, Kujo apologizes about his behaviour and then they proceed to cement their love for one another... but then the show appears to have ran out of budget and we are treated to 1.30 minutes of experimental animation involving Kujo's family and the final appearance of Fish-kun. Queue the closing credits and a final shot of Mio and Kujo kissing under a cherry tree. The End.
So that's SMSY in a nutshell, a show with writing equivalent to laziest fanfiction you can find on the internet and paired with an animation on a shoestring budget. I cannot recommend this 'anime' to anyone but the most bored of people out there. Avoid this one like the plague and spend your time instead on licking some stamps, polishing your shoes or writing a better fanfiction on DeviantArt.
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