In the year 2010 the Mars Exploration Vessel, returning to tell its secrets, fell to the Earth in a fiery blaze. Several months later, strange creatures known as Ancients walk the streets of Tokyo, brutally murdering anyone who gets in their way. In response to these incidents, the AAST – the Anti unidentified Ancients Special Team – has been created to subdue the threat. With the help of Hinata Takeru, a high school student who wears the Anti-Ancient Suit Mars, the AAST now sets out on a new mission: deliver the salvaged pieces of the fallen vessel into safe hands, at all costs!
Ahh, Mars of Destruction. Something you must see to believe. Something you wouldn't ever believe to be possible outside of the realm of LEGEND. Something your mind will initially refuse to register as true, and then shiver with a flow of many different and conflicting emotions. And you totally should watch it.STORY: 1.5/10What little can be understood of the plot is: some starship somehow went "kaboom" while delivering something from Mars, then some big ugly things called "Ancients" appear to be attacking randomly in Japan and there are some (probably underage, and seemingly retarded) girls and a lad in a cool suit fighting them. Everything is told so confusingly and superficially and with so many clichés that at no point will you care for the story. Not a single element has not been already seen a billion times. It's not only stupid and confusing, but at times even contradictory, and you can see that it actually takes itself seriously by trying to be too many things for a low-budget 20-minute OVA and not even once showing any tongue-in-cheek attidude. The cornerstone to understand what masterpiece of clumsiness we're in front of is actually the finale. I'm not going to spoil it, because it's a key element to fully experience how bad this thing is, I'll just say that it will give you one of three reactions: you will burst out laughing, burst out crying, or check what the hell was in that drink you just had because such a cheap, lame and out-of-the-blue plot twist can't possibly be anything but a result of mental alteration. Needless to say, none was the inteded effect. As the revelation approaches, you can basically see popping up on screen a roulette spinning between "I am your father!", "It was Earth all along!", "You are one of us too!", "WE are the Earthlings!" and "It was his sled!".I'm still wondering if they thought they were smart or touching. I read that it's supposed to be a tie-in for an action / dating sim Playstation2 videogame, but still it's not enough of an excuse. CHARACTERS: 0/10Calling these characters "bidimensional" would mean giving them one or two dimensions more than what they have. No, I would go as far as saying that THERE ARE NO CHARACTERS. Basically only two or three of them are named, nobody at all has even a hint of any personality (AT ALL!), and the only scene that could be considered character exploration (through some inhuman stretch of the term) is a 20-second flashback dialogue taken bodily from the first episode of Evangelion. If that was supposed to make us sympathise with him, it failed pretty hard. Actually, giving a crap about any single one of the characters is basically impossible: so flat and non-existent are their personalities, and so stupid are their actions, that you'll either hate them or simply not notice they're there at all. Again, it's a tie-in for a game, so I don't know how those characters are developed there, but this is the impression received from the OVA alone. ANIMATION: 1.5/10This is probably the best aspect of the anime, and this says a lot. The character design is dull, the animations are cheap and terrible, and some shots will make you burst out into laughter. Unintentionally, of course. Still I have to admit, the design of the protagonist's suit is pretty badass. MUSIC: 0.5/10There is little to no soundtrack, but after hearing what little there is, you wish there was none at all. Because it's pretty painful to hear short extracts of beautiful pieces of classical music (like Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries", Rossini's ouverture from "The barber of Seville" or Beethoven's "Moonlight sonata") used absolutely randomly. Used like they are, in no way do they help conveying any feeling, on the contrary they distract from the scene, expecially since each one of them cuts abruptly followed immediatly by the next one. CAST: 0/10You know when, hearing a performance, you can visualise the face of the voice actor in a proud pose with the caption "And not a single fuck was given that day" above them? That's this anime. The voice actors are not even TRYING to convey any emotion, they just... didn't give a damn. Again, there's one or two times where you'll burst out laughing. OVERALL: 0.7/10Overall? Overall, you MUST see this shit. Everything about this OVA is so awful, so unbelievably stupid, cheap, and hastily put together, that you MUST try it out. It's something along the lines of those movies, like The room or Turkish Rambo or Avatar, that are so bad and full of the stupidest clichès, that watching them with a couple of friends and some alcoholic beverage becomes an enjoyable and ultimately unforgettable experienceof laughter. If the voice actors had been more over-the-top and hammy instead of flat and boring, it could have been a damn masterpiece.
Well for those who would like a quick review, I would say 1 word would suffice. Bullshit. The story of the anime is exactly as the synopsis stated. If you are planning on giving this anime a go, decide if you rather spend a few minutes reading words or spend 19 mins or so watching an eye-burning anime that would definately make your head spin. Story: There was totally no explanation given on where in the heavens did the ancients come from. Unless a spaceship can hold an army of humanoid looking things with nobody noticing, are they sending blindmen to mars or something? The abbrevation for the AAST was provided but not for the MARS suit which seems to be especially made to combat against ancients but all that happened to the character first getting owned in the back by a normal ancients to the point of death and then an arm was easily broken and he got his ass handed to him in just a few seconds, in a suit meant to fight against ancients, I repeat, A SPECIAL ANTI-ANCIENTS SUIT. So I concluded MARS must stand for Made for Ancients to Rape Suit. Oh not to mention equiping the suit apparently squashes your rib cage to half the size. Does that guy not have bones? How in the world did his stomach and lungs not get ruptured? Is he a ancient in disguise? In this anime, head being blown off doesn't actually seem common sensical that the person is dead. They have to devote that few seconds to have a docter tell the mains that that person without a head is dead, not to mention the mains didn't even give a damn about it, oh what great camaraderie. Also, towards the end of the anime, a special boss like ancients that had the strength to crush wrist can't simply crush the necks of the girls, not to mention he suffocated them for god knows how long and the girls still freaking breathes after that. It was also stated that plasma guns don't work on him. Note PLASMA GUNS. The girls used smg. Then suddenly the guy has a plasma rifle that apparently worked on him. DIDN'T PLASMA GUNS NOT WORK? AT LEAST MAKE IT A CANNON OR SNIPER OR SOMETHING! SERIOUSLY? A RIFLE? And after having a hole blasted in the middle of his stomach, the boss like existence suddenly wakes up to speak a few sentences...and get blown up by smg shots...plasma smg shots...ISN'T PLASMA GUNS NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK? Charater: I gotta say. The girls are packed with surprises. First scene. 3 girls facing off against 3 ancients. They were said to posses(later in the story) expert level in either hand-to-hand combat, swordfighting, firearms, or information analysis. But, 1 of the girls holding a fireman, bloody missed every single shot she fired out of her smg. I mean if she can't shoot for nuts, why is she holding a gun? Not only their skills, their mentality is out of the world, maybe they are ancients in disguise or something. Their teammate's head got blown sky high and became a blood fountain yet they did not even flinch in the slightest. I mean the poor girl may be a side character, but really? Then one of the main charater fell on her butt, the other girl show a shocked and fearful expression. You mean a head getting blown off right beside you doesn't mean a shit? And on to the main character. His first apparence is in some mofo like suit that make me think he should be the special mutant of the ancients or last boss or something to that effect. He then proceed to pierce his sword of light into a ancient's throat, and as if that is not enough he must show off his strength by having a contest of strength and twisting the poor ancient's wrist, is getting pierced in the throat not enough? After showing off, he got his ass handed to him by another ancient who clung onto his back, breaking his MARS suit with but a simple grip. Let me remins you, a MARS suit is A SPECIAL ANTI-ANCIENTS SUIT. At this point of time i started asking myself, did I imagine wrongly or did my brain decline such that i cannot remember something from a minute or so ago, wasn't there 3 ancients? Rewinding back, there were 3. So where did the last one go? Did he get tired of firing beams from his mouth and went to drink from the blood fountain? Continuing on, the main character is really something, he should have been fighting ancients for awhile now(my own conclusion, nothing was clarified) but after getting pwned from the back, he suddenly suffered severe mental shock, only to recover without any remedy and maning up to fight a special boss like ancient...severe mental shock? The policemen in the story are completely bullshits, they meet alien lifeforms and don't even bother taking out their gun or going for cover, they simply stand there and be human target for the ancients to test their aiming on before moving on to the mains, come on, do you really hates policemen this much? Art: Well computers in 2010 looks like computer back in the 90s or so. Mars apprently glows in red, unless that was the sun(honestly I can't tell) then the sun which was supposed to be gaseous suddenly became a solid planet. Shit quality, shit images. Ancients looks like gays or sex offenders in tightsuits and masks, girls are probably concept arts from when the first anime was drafted, main character's special suit would make gay dancers in club proud. Fast action scenes are simply exact same frames being vibrated a few times and thats about it. Music: Well doesn't the music sound familiar? Of course. Most of the music were ripped off from probably the net. I mean theres Mozart pieces in there, just wow. And the music totally don't fit the context...unless you see it in a different way. Like the first main character fight scene? Instead of fighting, the music makes me think the main character is making out with the ancient while hugging onto his head, and hence, the special boss like existence at the back of the story must have been the continuation of this that they didn't show due to age restriction. Overall: Watch it.(Sorry I like watching people burn)
Story? So basically, a ship to Mars or from Mars that was from Earth is going to burn up in reentry into Earth's atmosphere but it actually explodes despite the subs or narration text saying it burned up. Then a bunch of years happened and these super martians come to earth or are already on earth and are ready to throw down, Bobby Flay style. Obviously, hot teenage chicks (That is wrong on two levels that I know of, the second one later) and a token harem guy are the only force that stands between the martians and making earth Mars 2. I think. Really, the plot is a jumbled mess and throws in a power armor because it's cool and everybody likes power armor with laser swords, except it screws up on the Tron armor and the laser sword. How does one screw up on that? I have no idea, and then it continues to shit on any terms of plot and junk. It either fast forwards or rewinds after a battle and then probably moves forward backward to more plots and then... I don't know. Sudden plot twist after illogical anti-physics? I guess the final 30 or so seconds provides intrigue but then I would have to track down the game and play it to see what happens to Takeru and his assumed-to-be harem because he's one teenager surrounded by 4-6 teenage girls. But the OVA alone, not so much on plots. But I'll give it credit on not having anybody display any emotion or reaction to their friend's head getting blown up/disintegrated/poof-poof. Animation Laser vomit to a badly designed laser sword that can easily cut your fingers off and I guess it could be so much worse. At least it wasn't cancer-inducing CGI mixed with subpar anime-style... anime. Seriously, I am glad there wasn't CGI and I can totally give it an extra star based on a feature it doesn't have. More like I will. Think of it as a legitimate 2. Sound On one hand, the VO is total ass. Didn't like anybody in particular and this one yell of Takeru sounded really weird. On the other hand, it heavily borrows classical music, often mixing it poorly and making the conductor of these masterpieces do donuts in his grave. Characters Takeru has a backstory. Overall Yes this company (Idea Factory was in the credits) shat out worse and yes this is a mockery of videogame OVAs and spits upon any development of them up to now while taking a dump on anime in general BUT it could be School City Valanoir or Skelter Heaven. Basically, it's better than a turd but is still a turd.
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