Holy Knight

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hamletsmage's avatar
Jul 2, 2016

Holy Knught had potential. Itcould have been a dark, slightly brooding version of Rosario to Vampire without falling into Vampire Knight levels of moping. But no, they left the anime as a teasing preview of the manga. Let me explain...

Story: Main girl witnesses the death of her parents because they are vampires, and she swears revenge. Revenge means bedding the descendent of the enemy until she's pregnant. Sound convoluted enough, yet? Oh, it gets weirder. Said object of sexy-times already has a side chick, Boobs McFriendzone who is seeing green around MC. Then, MC's bodyguard is a werewolf, her former vampire caretaker is the school nurse, and there's a Werecat named for the animation studio. They all get showcased, meaning less time for the train wreck that is MC's attempts at sexy times. 

Animation: it's a pretty pile of boring. Pretty, with a lot of colors, panties, and enough blood to remind you that there are vampires. 

Sound: I watched the dubbed version. I wanted to punch whoever voiced the werewolf. Otherwise, it was ok. Nothing spectacular.

Characters: Remember how I said the characters were all showcased? It was like the who's who of the manga. They are introduced, some of their abilities are shown, and then, they fade back into the background of MC and love-object. Truly, characters of the year, right here. 

Should you watch this? Go read the manga first. You'll appreciate the anime more, I think.

This review brought to you by DAMC

?/10 story
?/10 animation
?/10 sound
?/10 characters
4/10 overall
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LeQr's avatar
Jun 25, 2012

I usually don't write reviews, because I think it's really boring to write them and no one would read my reviews anyways lol. But I guess this is going to be first one.

Someone might wonder why did I decide to write a review? Because the anime made me speechless. In a bad way..

Anyways about the anime. The plot. It's about some vampire girl who is being hunted by some kind of organisation( wasn't really explained why, maybe because she's a vampire) and she wants to have kids from guy-protagonist ( isn't explained either why she wants it).

In the beginning plot doesn't make any sense, actually the plot doesn't make any sense at all. I understand that it's pretty hard to explain a decent plot in 60 minutes. I mean they could at least try to do it, but they didn't. The plot has so many holes in it. As an example, It's like you are watching an anime from 10th episode and there is only one episode left. After you have watched last one, everything doesn't make any sense. I guess they tried to make something out of nothing. The story is really corny.

Briefly, plot sucks. That's pretty much expected from short ovas.

Animation and Sound were ok I suppose. Nothing really special.

The plot didn't bother me as much as characters did. Oh man the characters. I'm talking  about the main two characters in particular. Worst characters I've ever seen. I really don't have the words to describe them.

Actually, all my hatred is towards the male lead. I mean, when he meets this girl for the first time, she wants him to come  for a talk and then she basically says that she wants kids from him. And then he goes like "Uhm.. okey let's do it'', excuse me WHAT???????? Are you shitting me? Who the fuck would accept that when he first meets a girl. He really stands out from all characters. The other characters were bad, half of characters didn't make any sense by this I mean their pressence in the story. The writers could as well not introduce the half of the characters.

Conclusion. It's just simply terrible. Unless you want to see some naked tits or just willing to have another anime in your watched-list, dont watch it. If you're going to watch it, you will just completely waste your precious time.

P.S. Sorry for my mistakes.

P.P.S. What were the writers smoking?

1/10 story
5/10 animation
5/10 sound
1/10 characters
2/10 overall
tollie01's avatar
Aug 5, 2016

Right, it's confession time for me. If you have been reading my reviews than you may have noticed that I tend to rip the anime a new one. There is a reason for this though and it has to do with the fact that I can't turn my brain off when watching anime. I can't ignore the stupid shown in the anime and this is a problem as most anime are very stupid indeed.

In this case I'm not talking about a 90 pound girl catching a multi-ton cruise missile and throwing it back. Yes, it is stupid but it is a stupid that I'll allow. It's anime. Things like this are normal here and I'm pretty much fine with it. It annoys me to be sure but I will not rant about it.

So, having explained this lets rip into this anime shall we? Just a heads up: There will most probably be spoilers. The more I hate an anime the more spoilers there will be.

ART: This looks pretty good actually. In terms of animation I can't really find anything at fault except that it looks much older than it actually is. If you had told me that it was made in 2012 I would have laughed in your face.

SOUND: I very rarely notice the music in an anime and this is how it should be. When I do notice it then it is either very bad or very good. Nothing about the music stood out to me here. I certainly didn't like it very much but I didn't hate it and that is about the best I can say about it. Voice acting was about the same. Basically people showed up for a paycheck and left after doing some lines.

CHARACTERS: Main character is Shinta. Recently transferred to a new school he is trying to find his place.

Lilith is a half-human vampire trying to fulfill her destiny. For this she needs Shinta.

STORY: Shinta has just transferred into his new school when he runs into the mysterious Lilith. She is a part vampire and needs Shinta to fulfill her destiny.

RANT: Oh dear. When you can sum up the plot with only 2 sentences then you are in trouble. The main problem with the anime is that it is an OVA series of only 2 episodes when the story needs something in the order of 12 or 13 episodes.

With 2 episodes there is barely time to explain story, let alone characters. Characters get introduced pretty much all at the same time and you are left wondering where they came from and what side they are on. After the series end you are still wondering about some of them.

As for the story.... Let me tell you about the first 5 minutes of the anime. You see a couple walking through a city with their 5 year old daughter. Suddenly the churchbells start ringing and the couple look at each other. The man says that 'they' are coming and next scene the city is in flames.

Who is attacking the city? Don't know. It is never explained further.

Anyway, in the next scene the couple is outside the city where they split up. The woman runs off to a house on a hill while the man goes to the beach with the girl. He talks to the girl about how mama had to go away and gets interrupted by knights who swear to destroy 'them' all.

A fight breaks out between the man and the unknown knights while the girl escapes with a small boat. Dad screams for her to life on while she screams for him to come. He doesn't and the scene ends again.

Next we see the young girl alone in bed while a woman we've never seen before tells her that she must decide her own fate. To do this she must climb a hill to a certain spot where she must chose.

She goes up the hill and suddenly she is a 16 year old girl who finds a grave stone with a sword in it. Mystic shit happens and she pulls out the sword.

This is all in about 5 minutes and is supposed to set everything up. It fails but succeeds to leave you dazed and confused.

The entire series is like this though with things being set up with lightning speed but fails completely to explain things properly. After watching the 2 episodes you still don't know anything about the knights that attacked the city. Lilith is a Strigoi, which is a different name for vampire, but she is not a real vampire yet. For this to happen she must find Shinta and have a child with him.

This leads to an unintentional funny scene where Shinta meets Lilith for the first time. She basically walks up to him and orders him to have sex with her. He refuses, which shows you how well the writers know teenaged boys.

If a gorgeous girl walks up to you and offers free sex you don't exactly refuse the offer. I'm 41 as I write this and I would have a very hard time saying no to this. A 16 year old boy would be very confused but he would certainly not refuse the offer the way he did.

I would have bought it if he was in a dedicated relationship (which he isn't) or is he had a very strong moral code (which is not yet established as we just met the guy) or is he suspected that people were tricking him (again not established since we don't know anything about him yet).

Add to this some annoying side characters with the ability to change into animals (also not explained) and you have a perfect shitstorm called 'Holy Knight'.

Now I like vampires so I was initially exited when I found this anime. Maybe I will pick it up if they create a proper series of this but this OVA series is not worth your time. Not even as way to get a feel for the series. It simply fails at everything it tries.

It would have worked much better to show the attack on the town up to the point she found her destiny on top of the hill. If they had limited themselves to only that part of the story they could have set things up at a much better pace.

2/10 story
5/10 animation
5/10 sound
2/10 characters
2/10 overall
sam105's avatar
Feb 15, 2015

too much adult so not recommended to kids or underage. Story is too short, therefore must continue. Character design are good. Colour and animation are also fine. 

10/10 story
10/10 animation
10/10 sound
10/10 characters
10/10 overall
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galkohatespatriarchy's avatar
Feb 25, 2015

Typically, I review things on Amazon and my blog, but I had to get this out here, since CrunchyRoll and Media Blasters have been doing a bit of a promotional blitz to promote this insipid, wretched garbage heap of a show, so you might be suckered into watching it. Please, for the love of all that is good and "Holy" (I know, I'm a comedy genius,) don't. Just don't. I've been watching anime for well over a decade, and I can firmly say that "Holy Knight" is at the very, very bottom of the barrel of the wide gamut of stuff I've seen. Oh yeah. It's that bad.

Let's start with the story... wait, hold up, that's right, there is no story. I mean, there's sort of one, I guess, if you're really reaching. There's this girl, and her parents are dead, and now she has to sleep with an average Japanese high school boy for an ancient ritual or something. There are also evil, sinister men in black suits trying to kill her. And there's a childhood friend thrown into the mix, and a sultry school nurse with a huge bosom. Wait, you know, scratch that. Everyone (except for the token underaged character) has a massive, heaving bosom in this sleazy garbage disposal refuse masquerading as an anime.

This is apparently a fantasy/action show, but there's no action. There's barely any fantasy. What is here, then? Fan service. Lots and lots of fan service. No straight sex or anything, despite this being based on a porn manga. Nope, just heaping helpings of objectification. And keep in mind, I'm not opposed to fan service. "Dance in the Vampire Bund" is one of my all-time favorite manga. I love the heck out of "Kill La Kill" and "Heaven's Lost Property." But those shows have something that "Holy Knight" lacks (well, okay, maybe a lot of things it lacks): substance. "Vampire Bund" has a fantastic, nuanced plot, "Kill La Kill" has likable characters and is packed with stylish, great great action, and "Heaven's Lost Property" is just a gut-buster. But this? This has zilch. Zip. Nada. Instead, we get to see panty and tit shot after panty and tit shot with not even the slightest trace of plot to make it feel less exploitative. As a consequence, the women all feel like their sole purpose is to be objectified, not to further whatever little plot there is in any significant way. Oh, yeah, and there's a little bit of "almost but not quite sexual assault" humor thrown in for good measure. Because that's always fun!

Aside from being walking embodiments of the stuff that makes anime, as a medium, look bad, the women aren't good characters. Ah, wait, no, no one is. Everybody's a cliche. Everybody's backstory, motivations, and character traits have been done before and done better. I liked "strong-willed childhood friend" better in "Love Hina." I liked "perverted shapeshifter" better in "Ranma 1/2." I liked "clueless school boy thrust in the middle of a conflict" better the last 1,000,000 times I've seen it. Here, though, I hate it all. Not because they're tropes, because tropes can be used effectively. No, because these are tropes with no justification or reason for why we should care about them. 

You know why else we shouldn't care about them? Because of the horrendous dub. See, CR only has the dub uploaded, and that's what I watched, and lord almighty, is it one of the worst I've heard. I daresay infamous bad dub champions "The Humanoid" and "Harmageddon" have been given a run for their money with this trash. Everybody here knows nothing about lip syncs, annunciation, natural speech, forceful delivery, or literally anything else required to be an effective voice actor. They all sound like a bunch of early 20-something's who got paid twenty bucks for an afternoon's worth of work. What makes this sting even more is that Anime News Network has been heavily promoting the casting of this show (probably getting a little bit of money from Media Blasters, I dare say,) and I was actually looking forward to seeing if it was worth the hype of several, several separate news stories about the casting process for this trainwreck. Spoiler Alert: it wasn't, and I'd rather listen to every Creed album back-to-back than ever hear this apathetic and pathetic dub again in my entire life.

I would be remiss to not mention the animation. The amateurish, abhorrent, abominable animation... if it can even be called that. Characters go off model constantly. Hands look like mangled blobs. Anatomy fails spectacularly. Things barely move. Foreshortening makes people either look like little people or people with limp deformities. I thought "Sailor Moon Crystal" was as low as modern animation could sink. I was wrong, and the result is something that should be shown to every aspiring animator. Why? So they can know to never make something this visually atrocious and foist it upon the unsuspecting masses ever again. Lord.

"Holy Knight" is only good if you're going to watch it with friends and laugh at it, enjoying it ironically. Even then, I'd recommend being heavily intoxicated, for extra laughs. As far as ironic comedy goes, this is actually quite good. As far as a good show? "Good," "bad," "awful," or ever "wretched" doesn't come close to describing this miserable cesspool of a sad little show made by and for sad little people. It's a sex comedy without sex or comedy. It's a fantasy/action without fantasy or action. I mean, it's an anime without animation. "Holy Knight" is easily one of the worst anime I've ever watched, and a great way to scare anyone away from watching the stuff ever again.

0.1/10 story
0.1/10 animation
0.5/10 sound
0.1/10 characters
0.1/10 overall
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