Right, it's confession time for me. If you have been reading my reviews than you may have noticed that I tend to rip the anime a new one. There is a reason for this though and it has to do with the fact that I can't turn my brain off when watching anime. I can't ignore the stupid shown in the anime and this is a problem as most anime are very stupid indeed.
In this case I'm not talking about a 90 pound girl catching a multi-ton cruise missile and throwing it back. Yes, it is stupid but it is a stupid that I'll allow. It's anime. Things like this are normal here and I'm pretty much fine with it. It annoys me to be sure but I will not rant about it.
So, having explained this lets rip into this anime shall we? Just a heads up: There will most probably be spoilers. The more I hate an anime the more spoilers there will be.
ART: Overall the art is fine but there everything mecha related is CGI. I've sort of made my peace with this. CGI saves money so it is used a lot and this wasn't that noticeble or bad.
SOUND: No complaints from me. The music did what it had to do but nothing stood out for me. Voice acting is good but I expect nothing less from anime.
CHARACTERS: Main character is Hozuki. As the youngest sister she is hardest hit by her parents separating. She is very shy and a mechanical wizard.
Kazuki is the middle sister and basically useless. She studies matial arts but apart from the opening credits where you see her training you don't see much of this. Her mission in life is to sulk and be emo.
Hazuki is the oldest sister and she lives elsewhere. She wants to become a lawyer. Her main purpose is to make decisions for the others and drag them along.
Sylvia is mother of the girls who divorced their father. She is a descendent of Golileo Galilei and by God she will make you know it! Her job is to be annoying about it.
STORY: Hozuki, Kazuki and Hazuki are descendents of Galileo Galilei. One day people start to chase them for unknown purposes. They quickly learn that a secret project of their famous ancester lies at the heart of the reason. They decide to run and find what it is before the enemy does.
RANT: Holy shit but this anime is unintentionally funny. There were several moments where I laughed out loud because of what was happening. The sad part is that while the anime is comedic at times, this part wasn't supposed to be. While the anime is certainly bad it at least make me sit up and pay attention to what was happening just so not to miss the next batch of stupidity.
Oh, my God. This anime is so broken and horribly bad that I'm not even sure where to begin. If you ever decide to watch this then get some friends, load them up on alcohol and start watching. You'll laugh your ass off.
She build what?! Of the sisters, Hozuki is the one with enginering skills. She build this huge flying mecha that is as big as a house in their parents basement. Without her parents noticing over a period of 3 years and she is currently 13 years old.
Yes, she build this massive, multi-ton machine in her parents basement all alone, starting at the age of 10. I'm NOT questioning her intelligence as she is very smart and skilled. I AM questioning her physical abilty to acomplish this task alone without anyone noticing.
What is the McGuffin? What I always like about these anime is that EVERYONE knows what they are looking for except the ones who have it. They basically burst in screaming where 'it' is and expect the one they are screaming at to know what they are going on about.
They also threaten to blow out their brains when they genuinly express utter confusion. This is very stupid because unless you are a medium able to conver with ghosts it is a sure method to ensure that they will NEVER ANSWER YOUR QUESTION!
Seriously! Walk in, plainly ask what you are looking for (describe it if neccessary), threaten them with physical harm if needed but do NOT use deadly force untill after you have the thing you are looking for.
Every even ther plays out the same: They find the sisters, order the men to take them alive and then order to use the 'cannon of certain death' should they not immediately comply to their demands. It is stupid and should stop.
Where are they? Such a simple question but one the anime completely fucks up. I genuinly thought the anime was situated in Japan untill Hozuki expressed her wish to travel to Japan.
It was then that I though.... Well where the fuck are we now?! The answer is of course: Italy. They were born and raised in Italy. If you want to know which city then you'll have to wait untill the last episode where it is revealed to be Florence. Your welcome.
Villains evil plan! The main villain wants to control the world market in energy. In order to do this they destroy every methane hydrate mine in the world that isn't theirs.
To translate to our world: Saudi Arabia creates a armed force, sends them all over the world to destroy every oil production plant so that only they are left able to prosuce oil. Without being detected by anyone and without the countries trying to stop them by camping an army next to the plant.
As mentioned the substance they are mining is methane hydride. This is an actual substance and not something created for this anime. Methane hydride is plain old methane that has been trapped in ice. Just wanted you to know.
You have got to be kidding me! Episode 3 or 4 had me rolling of my seat as I was laughing so hard. Again completely unintentional.
They meet a vagrant in the woods near a city as they search for food. He begs for some food and they do. He rewards them with his personal sob story: He was an engineer who lived happily with his daughter. Sadly the daughter got sick so he set out to find a cure. As you do.
He turned to SCIENCE and created nanomachines but got there to late to save his daughter. Turning his back to SCIENCE he became a vagrant, living in the woods.
Now I can understand being sad but losing his beloved daughter but.... He actually invented nanomachines capable of curing almost everyting. Should he decide to sell it he will be an instant billionare! He could literally ask any price and he would get it.
So instead he lives alone in the woods in a crappy shed with the nanomachine prototype in his posession. But oh, no! Hozuki takes a bad fall!
Actually this is an understatement as she falls off a building. She drops at least 30 feet before slamming into a pile of derelict cars that are conveniently placed there. She then bounces from wreck to wreck untill she finally slams into the ground.
She doesn't die instantly though. Hazuki drags her badly wounded sister many miles back to the ship where she lies there writhing in pain. They can't call a doctor as they are wanted criminals at this time. How will they ever get out of this pickle?
But wait! There is this guy living out in the woods who has a McGuffin that could save her! He does but wait, what is this! He also has another McGuffin! This is the one the girls have been searching for! What luck!
Where is the church? Oh, man. This one brought tears to my eyes. The sisters are traveling around the world looking for moon scetches left behind by Galileo himself. They learn that one is in Holland, hidden in a church.
They get there and we meet a resistence group fighting the main bad guys. Among them is this wonderful, likeble boy (That is in no way is going to be killed off at the end of the episode, I swear!) who becomes good friend with Hozuki.
As Hozuki is searching for the church she runs into the boy and asks him where the church is. The boy then replies right there and I kid you not! The camera slowly pans out to show more of the background and reveals a massive church.
The church is behind the boy which means that Hozuki, who is standing in front of him facing him, is LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! This shit is comedy gold!
What we need is more time travel! As mentioned the bad guys want the McGuffin that the girls supposedly have. Turns out that they do have it. Hozuki found it in the attick and knew that it was special all along.
In episode 6 the bad guys catch up to the sisters and force Hozuki to give it up. Do not worry about this though as the anime sure as fuck doesn't. They simply move on searching the scetches as if nothing happened.
This changes around episode 8 where *gasp* the obvious traitorous woman traveling with them turns out to be a traitor. Shit goes down and ....Hey, the air pirates are back again. Hi guys!
Anyway shooting starts and the sisters are caught in between. Hozuki, having switched the McGuffin before giving it over, now switches them back again and shit starts to happen. Light envellops her and she disappears! *double gasp*
She comes to falling from the sky where she meets Galileo Galilei. Yep, she was transported to the past to her ancester. Episode 9 and 10 take place in the past where Hozuki has a great time with Galileo.
But what about the future? Her sisters were about to be shredded by incoming missiles! Eh, who cares right? Time travel shenanigans are much more important that all that exciting stuff.
The ending sucks. Seriously? You end the series in a courtroom battle? I'm not a lawyer but even I realized the entire scene was utter bullshit. The ending with their parents was pure comedy gold though.
What I Liked: The soundtrack, for the most part, portrayed a great sense of adventure and wonderment. The character designs. The designs for the inventions and mechs were creative. Set designs were perfect for the genre. Action scenes were well done, with great integration of 3D elements. Cinciho, despite his wobbly characterisation. The first episode was intriguing enough.
What I Didn't: Heavy use of convenient plot points. While things seem to just happen, it never feels cohesive. Constant Mood Whiplash and pacing issues. The grating and unremarkable Opening Theme. Episode 6, for going heavy-handed with the "Humans Are Bastards" trope. World-building feels lacking, and set designs didn't really give me a sense of "Future Europe in the Midst of an Ice Age". The last three episodes, from the time-travel romance filled with crap anachronisms to the utterly boring kangaroo court and its "twist". The train-wreck of an ending. Show handles death in a very indifferent manner. Boring corporate sleaze villians. Characterisation for nearly every character is practically non-existant. Phone hair.
Final Verdict: Galilei Donna starts off promisingly enough but trips over itself straight out of the gate, revealing itself to be a tonally inconsistent and banal adventure series that lacks any form of tension or mystery. While it is visually and aurally wonderful with its imaginative mech designs and strong soundtrack, everything else about it is frustratingly inadequte from the flat characters to the way things just conveniantly fall into the laps of the three young protagonists. All in all, Galilei Donna was a unfortunate mess that left me cold.