...what did I just watch? A comedy, right? They were going for a comedy, I hope? Or a parody? But there's no tags for that...wait, they were serious with this movie? They legit wanted the audience to take it seriously?
Alright, so preface: I never played Dragon Quest V, which this movie is based on. I played the very first game (called "Dragon Warrior"), as well as VIII and XI. So, I didn't know what to expect or what sort of story would be told. Anyone who has played Dragon Quest V will be familiar with the story as well as its twists and turns.
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Story
Shortly after he is born, Luka's mother is kidnapped by the evil wizard, Gema/Ladja, who is trying to open a portal to some evil dimension. Luka travels with his father, Papasu/Pankraz, who suspects that Luka might be the prophecy-told Hero since he is of Zenithian descent.
On their travels to one town, Prince Henry/Harry is kidnapped by minions of Gema/Ladja and it's up to the protagonists to save him...only, things don't go as planned.
I had a really difficult time trying to summarize the story because it moves very quickly and has a good amount of time skips. There are scenes which occur midway through the movie which I would have thought would have been at the end of the movie.
A lot of things happen, and they happen quickly. From a journey to an escape, to saving a village to...marriage!? And childbirth!?...to breaking the 4th wall...
I just couldn't take it seriously. I had a good grasp of the plot up until a quarter or so into the movie as Luka went in search of the Hero Sword...then it just sort of went downhill and I gave up on trying to figure out what sort of story it was trying to tell.
After that, I just sat back and enjoyed how hilariously stupid the entire thing was. 2/10
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Characters
They come and go faster than a revolving door. One moment a character is relevant, and the next they're in the background (though at least Luka tends to be up front and center).
Also, it's worth mentioning that the names are...strange. I was watching it in the original Japanese with English subs, and was often puzzled by the fact that I could clearly hear the characters say a name on screen (like "Martha") and then look down and see the subtiltes show it as "Mada". I guess those are the English translated names in the game itself or something; they do this with locations as well.
Luka is your generic fantasy hero, though at least he shows a little bit of hesitance when he has to decide whether to go find that Hero Sword. Otherwise, he just keeps pressing forward and is a good person at heart. Simple, determined, and fairly strong. He's also one of the only characters who did not have his name changed.
Bianca is a girl who had helped Luka during his travels once when he was a child, and aided him in retrieving the Dragon Orb. She is fiery and headstrong, and not afraid to speak her mind. She does have a softer side to her and encourages Luka as well...I think she's a mage? She has a two-handed staff and is once seen casting a spell or two...
Also in their party are two monsters: the slime named Surarin/Gootrude, and the sabrecat named Geregere/Purrcy.
Other characters come and go, including the arrogant prince Henry/Harry and a close friend of Luka's family, Sancho. The bad guys remain as well, and are your generic "bad guys trying to open a portal for evil" who are really easy to hate.
Some characters flew by quickly, and almost seemed to come and go so fast that I could only basically grasp their personality before they were regulated to the background. Luka remained the centerpoint of the story thankfully, so we at least had one character to focus on.
Luka was a good, solid character (if not a bit dull and predictable at times), but I can't say the same for the others. Everyone was pretty much just comic relief even when they were trying to be serious. They're lucky to scrape by a 3/10 because they did make me laugh at least...even if that's not what they were going for.
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Sound & Animation
The sound was pretty good; some familiar sounding tunes...but there was one moment when the music was this high spirited adventure type music still playing even as Luka finds a town which looks like it had just been attacked. That was a weird clash of footage to ambiance. The voice acting was a little stiff here and there as well, and sometimes Luka came across as flat and uninteresting.
It's not great, but it's not bad. The final song was good and other music sounded fine even if it missed the mark on matching the mood occasionally. 6/10
The animation is what I have a big problem with. The characters move so much, even when just talking, that they look fake. The expressions are fine, but all of the excess movements of their bodies and arms when they just have a normal conversation with one another was awkward and made me very uncomfortable.
I nearly wasn't able to watch the movie because of that, and just sort of grimaced whenever the characters had to talk to one another since they would do that odd bobbing of the head or their arms. All the animators had to do was move around the expressions, but instead they had them move their entire bodies when speaking.
I have difficulty reading body language, but I'm pretty sure normal people don't move like that when they just have a conversation with one another.
Whenever someone blushed, their entire face would turn red. It was both hilarious and a bit off-putting at the same time.
Battles were alright, I suppose. Most of them were over so quickly that it was hard to rate in terms of animation, and the magic the characters used often obscured the view of the entire scene briefly. Some of the CGI movement of the enemies were just as awkward as the humans.
Honestly, I'd rather try to forget the awkward movements and motions which was the entire animation of the film. Oh...the slime was done well, though. 3/10
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Overall
As a comedy, I think it did rather well. It was so gosh darn stupid that I was laughing often enough...even at parts which weren't supposed to be funny, however.
But the rest just completely crumbled and failed. Scenes including death did not feel emotional enough to shed a single tear, and it doesn't take much to get me to cry during emotional scenes in media.
The animation was awkward, the voice acting was weak, the subtitled names not matching the names the characters were saying in the Japanese version was confusing, and the pacing was so fast that there was almost no time to take a breath between scenes because something was always happening...
...yet, despite the film constantly moving along, the characters remained the same as they did when they were first introduced. Nobody really grew as a character emotionally or physically except for a tiny scene here and there with Luka.
And don't get me started on that final battle and plot twist. That was just so ridiculous that I burst out in laughter...again. I suppose it would have been a really cool thing to include if the movie was one to take more seriously, but considering it was a train wreck from a quarter of the way in until the finish...yea.
Interesting concept, that final battle, but very poorly done. Again, it was more on the "roflmao" side than the "omg wtf" side.
I suppose if you're looking for a movie you can laugh at, or to listen to while you're doing busywork or something, this is a good movie to do so with. It's one you most likely won't get super invested in or involved in, and is far more enjoyable if it isn't taken seriously.
Since it amused me (though I'm still pretty sure that wasn't its intention) I'll give it a 4/10.