The ever-helpful Azmaria has decided to take it upon herself to create her own short guide to the series, providing useful details along the way. Whether she’s explaining the state of the world in the early 1920’s, documenting the history of the Magdalene Order, or describing the different weapons used to defeat demons, Azmaria is full of useful factoids and is raring to share them with everyone she encounters.
Story: Chrono Crusade, a series heavily based in religious tradition. For those unfamiliar with the Catholic faith and its mythology, this could seem a little alien, but have no fear, Azmaria’s here with her version of ‘Chrono Crusade for Dummies’. While some of the content is relatively interesting – by explaining actual historical facts about both the religious aspect of the series and the historical – it really reminds me of listening to a short lecture. As such, it can seem a bit dull at times, and isn’t always the easiest thing to watch. “The story is going to get very complex now and that means that I need to tell you something about the sinners who are starting to reveal themselves.” Sound condescending to you? Yeah, thought so. When this special isn’t bombarding you with factoids, it seems to treat the viewer like a young child. If I wanted to feel like a complete moron, I’d go bang my head against a rough brick wall for a couple of hours then attempt to strike up a conversation with a statue of a dog. Animation: What animation? The majority of screen time is given over to clips from the anime that are related to whatever it is that Azmaria happens to be babbling on about at that moment. Any ‘new’ content tends to consist of still images that jump from pose to pose with a complete lack of in-betweens. This re-use of old footage, and the lacklustre original segments, make it even more difficult to engage with the information that’s being hurled at you. Sound: I really, REALLY wish that I’d been able to get hold of a subtitled version of this rather than subjecting myself to Azmaria’s patronising kindergarten teacher impression. Her degrading tone of voice really makes me want to reach into the screen, grab her by the collar and slap her round the face until she concedes that I’m not a total idiot and can actually understand a story peppered with religious terminology. Characters:Well, other than Azmaria who managed to go DOWN in my estimations for being a patronising little cow, none of the cast really develop or feature at all. A couple of the characters get a little exploration, but the primary focus of these specials is the religious history behind the events of the series. Characters don’t really rate on the scale. Overall: “As our discussions continue, they’re getting more difficult, so is everyone keeping up?” I’m sorry, are you talking to me, or that cushion over there? If you’re interested in learning a few bits and bobs about the factual inspiration behind the series, then watch away, but if you’re hoping for some nice cute little omake with the cast acting in unexpected and humorous ways, then walk on by.
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