thegoldenwaste's avatar


  • Florida
  • Joined Jan 9, 2011
  • ? / M

I feel like I have been writing reviews 24 hours a day at this point. I feel like Jack Bauer in a way. What does 24 have to do with anything, you may ask. 24 is the amount of community anime reviews I have done for A-P. In this review, I am looking at Final Fantasy VII Advent Children. Its a movie which has style but no substance beyond animation and music. No spoilers or cursing in my reviews, although I was tempted in this one! Please read my other reviews, comment and criticism are welcome and wanted. Thanks for reading and onto the review of this atrocious movie.

Story; Final Fantasy VII Advent Children was not an easy movie to sit through. It's plot is almost non-existent and what plot does exist is just plain ridiculous and silly. The movie presumes too much of the viewer, which cuts its availability to more mainstream audiences. FFVII AC has a story that, to be  frank, makes no sense and is clearly rushed. It's almost as though someone took a Final Fantasy VII fanfic and made it a movie. It's just plain awful and it is a crime against movie and theater itself. Japan should be ashamed.

Animation; First off let's get this straight: yes, it is eyecandy. I will not deny it that. However, that doesn't excuse it from being a CG-animated movie. I have this severe disdain against these types of movies. If it was a traditionally done anime film with the same budget, I think rating its animation would be an easy ten. It had appealing designs and interesting settings, but beyond that it could clearly not get much higher than a five in this area for me. It was pretty, but it was annoyingly so. It is pretty to look at but not much else.

Sound; Oh wow, the only legitimately good part about this movie! Nobuo Uematsu is a genius. What more can be said that has not already been said? I listened to both audio tracks and did not like either of them. That is why there is not a ten here. Seems reasonable enough to me anyway.

Characters; This movie presumes you know who these people are. By the end of the movie, as a newcomer, I am left wondering if I should care about any of these people. They have the personality, life and energy of a cardboard box. It was so dull and flat. I never have handed out zeros but FFVII AC deserves this for making the one cast where I do not care about anybody by the end. In the end, I could not give in a zero so I settled as close to zero as possible. It would be a struggle to even find a reason to like this cast.

Overall; It's an awful movie. Why I spent time watching and loving it when I was younger is something I will never know. Perhaps because I did not realize at the time just how poor this movie was in every aspect. It turned me off from ever playing Final Fantasy games because I had already gotten an idea of what to expect. This has not changed many years later and I am glad to see I have not gotten engulfed in the train wreck known as Final Fantasy. Avoid this movie at all costs. I wish I did. Oh, to be young and stupid. Ignorance is bliss, after all.

2/10 story
5/10 animation
9/10 sound
0.1/10 characters
4/10 overall
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Julian May 8, 2011

Oh man, i bet yo went to fail school, so I'll just make a comedy critic.

Story: Yeah, you know what? I just saw the second movie of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and the story is awful. I never saw the first part, but come on, a good movie should have no problems explaining the whole situation... We should see how Sauron is destroyed, how bilbo gets the ring, why Gollum is after the ring, why Saruman betrayed the elves and the humans in EVERY MOVIE of the Trilogy.

Animation: if 5/10 means: Awesome animation made back in 2005, which kicks Avatar's effects butt even now, and a GREAT aspect really well-recieved by critics, I wonder what a 8/10 would be.

Characters: Same as history. VII has 2 games prequels, one main game and a spin-off. If you don't care o don't know anything about the characters you should not see the movie, and neither review it of course.

Conclusion: You fail.