Fate Stay Night
So I finished watching 'Fate / Stay Night”. I was pretty avid about watching it, seeing the development of the story was interesting. But... then came the ending, and I was so baffled and confused, I didn't know what to do. At first, I began to hate the show. Saber fought so hard, but in the end, she didn't get what she wanted, and neither did Emiya. But after some thinking, I began to dig deeper, not just scratch the surface, but dive into the show. The writers had came up with a very good plot, and no one in there right mind would just throw it away with a mediocre ending.
I chose to abstract Saber, as this is the character I grieve the most over.
Thought tree (sorry its a picture, this blog didnt like tabs, indents, or bulleting bullets.)
Saber is Emiya's servant in the Grail wars. She was summoned after he was attacked by another servant. Saber is also a king. This describes a lot of her personality. She is suborn and goal orientated. This is what leads to her problem
Saber fights in the grail wars to fix a problem she made in the past. She believes she is [was] not fit to be king. She therefor wants to go back to pick a better suited person. The events that lead up to this were there was a war going on. It came to a point where she had 2 choices, one that would lead to save
the kingdom but lose a village, or she could save the village, but potentially lose the kingdom. She choose to save the kingdom. This is because she was looking out for the kingdom as a whole. She didn't really see the kingdom as each and every individual person. So her subjects turned on her. Then, as she was dieing, she went in and out of conciseness. This is when she entered the grail wars. It didn't sit with her right, that she essentially turned on the village and let them die. She didn't see herself fit as king.
So basically, Saber wants to pick out another king, a king more worthy than her.
So when she first met Emiya, her tendencies carried over. She was still goal orientated, fighting for her cause. That's why she was so calm in some of the scenes (like the bathroom scene). She though of herself as a servant, nothing more. She never acted like a woman because she was never treated as one, but more importantly, because she never saw herself as one. She saw herself as a guardian, looking over her kingdom. But she realized the mistake she made, and she cared for the people so much, that she wanted to choose the best king for them. She knew that if she went to the field of Avalon (The place where great kings rest / go when they die), her soul would be restless, she would not be able to forgive herself.
She would not be able to forgive herself... that is why she seeks the grail. She wants to pick a new king, so she would not have to responsibility of looking over the people, so she can forgive herself. She believes the must be someone better suited for kingship, someone who would be able to build a peaceful kingdom. But she is fighting for herself, just as she was fighting for herself for the kingdom.
I'm going to start from EP. 20. Leading up to this, Saber has small, subtle signs that she is changing and/or showing a liking to Emiya. She also conforms slightly to be more like a woman.
Emiya decides to take Saber on a date (Woo! Kudos for Emiya!) After a few scenes of the two doing their thing, They end up on a bridge overlooking a sunset. Saber states that she enjoyed the day, but it goes against her very existence. Her only purpose is to fight, to obtain the grail. They then begin to argue, Emiya stating that she is a walking contradiction. He says that she says she wants to fight, but she doesn’t really want to, but that she choose to fight because its her only option. Saber states again that her only reason for existing is to obtain the grail, and that fighting is her only option. Emiya yells that she has a ton of options, that she can instead stay and live for herself, to stay and be happy (with him). Through some back and forth banter, Emiya states that shes a child for wanting a “do over” and Saber states that she needs to obey her oath, and that Emiya is foolish. Emiya leaves, stating that she can fight everyone else on her own. He goes home and goes to sleep, angry at Saber. He is awakened by Rin who tells him that Saber has not come home. Worrying for her, he sets out to find her. Going back to the bridge, he hind her. She states that she wanted to leave, but didn't know where to go. She had the freedom to do what she wanted, but she didn't know what she wanted. Emiya then takes her hand, and says that she will always have a place to go, to his house. As they are walking, they are stopped by the guy with the crazy armor [Gilgamesh]. After a crazy battle, after they almost die, and after Emiya confesses his love to Saber, the two fend off Gilgamesh after Emiya summons Sabers Scabbard.
After a love scene at the house (and saber turns him down *sigh*) Emiya goes looking for some answers at the church from Kotomine (the priest). You end up finding out hes partaking in the wars, and hes cheating. He houses Gilgamesh, and feeds him people in the catacombs. After a fight between saber and lancer, Kotomine appears and offers the grail to Emiya. After a deep though session, he turns it down. Kotomine then offers the choice to Saber who, after a similar moment of enlightenment and a realization of what is really important to her, declares her love for him and turns down the grail. They escape the church and saber explains that she now realizes that her wish was misguided, and not necessary. They then both decide to destroy the grail.
To put it bluntly, she goes from fighting for herself, to fighting for Emiya. She keeps fighting, but for a different reason. she no longer fights or protects Emiya for her own sake (to get the grail), but she fights and protects Emiya for the sake of protecting and fighting for him. A love for him, should we say. She has never loved, She thinks its something not for her, that she is unworthy.
But without love and compassion, she could not fight for her people. That was her biggest mistake. But now she was fixing that. She was fighting, not for her own interest, but for someone else. She was living... for someone else.
And so, through normal human nature, she fell in love with her master, she fell in love with Emiya. But then... why did she go back? Why did she choose to go back to her own time instead to stay with Emiya? While I don't think I have the true answer for that, I think I have an idea.
She awoke back in her own time, where she was being laid up against a tree. She stated that she had a dream, and that it was a nice dream. She then passes her sword onto her kin, telling them to toss it into the lake. When they got back, she told them thank you. She then went on to say that she was going to dream a long dream. She then closes her eyes.
There are a few places this could go. Most people think that she passes away. Someone did hit on one point that I liked. That she didn't die, but instead really dreamed. While I like this idea, I don't think that’s what happened, but I’ll come back to it. What I think happened, is that she did die. BUT!!! she
didn't just die, she didn't just pass away. She went to "sleep", or shes “dreaming”, something consisting of a much nicer content and intent (The other extreme being she "expired", not consisting of death, but a hard, long, bad progression). And on top of that, she went without a fight. This means that she was able to forgive herself. She was able to forgive herself, through and only through Emiya. Her soul would not be restless because she knows the truth. She would truly be able to rest in peace. It is a sad ending. She will never be able to see another toy tiger, or see a stingray swim overhead. Nor will she be able to see another sunset, or drink a nice cup of tea. But most of all, she will not be able to hold Emiya's hand, stand by his side, hold his heart. She cannot exercise her new found glory. Despite that though, her problems are resolved. She can finally forgive herself. And while it is sad, its also freaking beautiful.
She was able to forgive herself. She knew that she didn't have to pick another king. She was proud in what she did.
She had her kin toss away her sword because she didn't want to die a king, but she wanted to die a lover. After Saber destroyed the grail, both her and Emiya met on a field. This is the Field of Avalon. This is where she confessed her love to him, and this is where she rests. But more importantly, this is where she waits, to be reunited with Emiya (hopefully).
One thing really really erks me, and it hit me like a brick in the face. I don't mind if anything else gets answered, but I want people to ponder this.
She remembered her past, quite vividly. She told stories through the series. Then at the end, when she returns to her time, she says she had a dream. I'm going to assume (and I think everyone else does too) that her dream was the one she had when fighting the grail wars, the memories with Emiya. I can only assume then, that she remembered being laid up against the tree before she passed out... while she was with Emiya (EP 22, there is a scene of her by the tree). But then that means.... she knew.... she knew she was going... to die. She knew she was going to die? SHE KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DIE!!!!???!???!??!??!?! WHUUUAAAT???? ALKSJDHASDJIKJAHSDYU&@IKLJSF THIS TWISTS MY BRAIN. She could have forgiven herself, and stayed with Emiya. But nooooooo... she didn't... why?! Did she feel that strongly towards releasing her kingship away that she would sacrifice the life and potential happiness (and exitment! Can you imagine living with Illia? Never a dull moment) with Emiya? She finally learned to love, but she would never be able to exercise that verb, that emotion, that beauty. And I mean come on... Emiya even bought her the lion plush from the store... AND HE NEVER GAVE IT TO HER. *sigh*... I guess I'll never know...
So heres my rant. I didnt touch on all my questions, but if anyone has some answers, or other questions, post them! Post your opinions, if your in agreement or disagreement with anything also. I love a good discution.
Something I stumbled upon
The song reminded me of Emiya and Saber. While the whole song may not pertain to the show, a good majority can relate to it.
A few lines that stuck out
"And so it goes, and so it goes, and so will you soon I suppose"
Saber cant live with Emiya forever, and at some point must leave him
"But if my silence made you leave, Then that would be my worst mistake"
There is even a spot in the show where Emiya says that he would not want to be silent, that he wanted to help Saber, even if she didn't agree.
"So I would choose to be with you, That's if the choice were mine to make"
Emiya wants Saber to stay with him. But...
"But you can make decisions too, And you can have this heart to break"
He gave her the decision if she wanted to stay or go.
This blog has no comments. Leave one now!