What do you get when you take one one of the greatest historical chinese novels everRomance of the three kingdoms, make all the main characters female, add crude sex jokes, ecchi material, and screaming 2 year olds? You get one of the most horrific, depriving, and insulting animes ever conceived. I'm continually amazed how low studios will sink to make some money, and this time they have gone too far. I would rather inject myself with liquid nitrogen and shove jalapenos in my eyes than ever watch this series again. That being said I feel it is my civic duty to reenact the horrors that I have witnessed.
Kiohime Musou is set in ancient china right around the fall of the Han dynasty. As the Han dynasty is falling three individual kingdoms have come into power each fighting for control.Kan'u representing Guan Yun is the main character and travels to each of these three kingdoms. Along the way she meets up with Chouhi representing Zhang Fei and Chouun representing Zhao Yun, as well as others who she meets and befriends. They seem to wander aimlessly from place to place meeting other historical figures and defeating bandits. Now there are some things in the anime that mirror the book such as Kan'u's and chouhi's 1 day battle in the first episode. As well as the gathering under the peach blossoms, however the anime mostly uses the story as a vague outline.
Now throughout the entire season the plot seems to have no direction. the characters just seem to fall upon a town where they soon find themselves in a situation usually due to their own stupidity. There are also various plot holes within the story for instance as to why Chouun starts wearing a mask or anything about Kan'u's extremely vague past. It's as if the writers said " hey man so we used the setting from The three Kingdoms but I think we can do better as far as content" and thereafter preceded to make episode after episode of witless jokes and crude sex humor. From not so subtle lesbian humor to cliche stupidity this anime has it all. Not only that but many of the conflicts that drove the episode where dimwitted and baseless cat fights and not the good kind where there is naked female mud wrestling involved; no the bad kind where your girlfriend gets into a pointless fight with a co worker and then screams at you about it. In fact the comedy within the series although overwhelming was low brow and simply un-funny.
Much of the anime is based around being ecchi an there is plenty of it to go around. There is always a set of fun bags in your face. However while this may appeal to hardcore ecchi fans I think that I falls short of it's cousins in the same genre. Even a lesbian sex scene and bathing galore didn't make me want to stop playing russian roulette with the computer to see if I should watch the next episode. More over I felt that this was the most sexist anime produced, not only are the women made to look like crude, bimbos but the men are all shown as evil, neanderthals. It's as if chauvinistic douche bags and crazed feminists got together to make one anime and this was their abomination.
All in all it feels as though this season is just a building block for season 2 and 3. However I have also seen that season 2 is more of the same and season 3 is where the series really takes off. Which leads me to believe that the whole series is just making shitty anime so that have to watch it to makes any sense of the good stuff.
Now the animation is how can I put this... tricky. While the animation is fluid, crisp and masterfully drawn. The character designs seem uninspired and unimaginative. For all of the females leads it was like they just put new hair and cloths on the same person. Also some characters such as the bandits are simply the same each time. While some may find this humorous I just found it lazy. Also sporadically throughout the episodes the anime will enter chibi mode and all the drawing will look like chin-chan only slightly better and cuter. This would be fine but it happens in seemingly random moments not especially cute or heart warming moments like one would expect. This again just made it seem like and act of laziness to me and lowered the overall quality of the anime.
The sound was well... I don't really remember the sound much. I do however remember the intro and outro which where both highly annoying. The intro didn't fit the anime in the least it made the anime seem serious which it obviously was not. Then while the outro was more on tune with the rest of the anime it was just plain annoying, like a rooster at 6 am loud, obnoxious, and you desperately want it to end. the voice acting was fairly good, the voices blended in with the character and made them seem more believable. Although I can't stand any anime where a character has a verbal tic like Chouhi, especially when they are usually high pitched and annoyingly overused.
The characters are the element that really irked me. This show is essentially a parody of a historical novel and it makes me both furious and disappointed when characters representing those figures have typical anime personalities. There is Kanu'u the large breasted do-gooder, Chouhi the annoying and bratty loli, Shokatsuryou the timid intellectual, Bachou the idiotic, large breasted jock, Sonshoukou the rich, egotistical little girl, the list goes on and on. In fact I dare you to find a cliche harem girl this anime hasn't embraced into their show. As for character development there is actually quite a bit. Each of the characters have episodes that revolve around them and develop there character in a way. At the end there is a definite change in each of the characters mannerisms. However even these are fairly cliche and are easy to predict taking most of the fun out of the story.
Now what I think was the real downfall of this anime was it's jack of all trades master of none feel. As i watched the first episode I found myself saying " why does everything feel so awkward and ill-convincing?" and then I finally realized it was because every aspect was poorly executed. There where ecchi scenes but not as many as Ikkitousen, the comedy was old and borderline annoying, the actions was lack luster and the drama was boring and pointless. If you really enjoy ecchi and want to see one with an all female cast then go for it, I just hope it is worth all the brain cells you'll lose in the process. I amy have judged this harshly due to the fact that it is based off a famous piece of literature. From reading others reviews it seems like one of those animes you either love or hate, personally I still wouldn't recommend this garbage to anyone but I thought you should keep that in mind. As a final statement WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE FRENCH MAID OUTFITS IN ACIENT CHINA ARE YOU GUYS EVEN FUCKING TRYING!? thank you.