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  • Thessaloniki, Greece
  • Joined Dec 22, 2011
  • 35 / M

Gunparade Orchestra

Jun 27, 2012

Notice: This review will cover both season of the franchice; because they are so bad, they don’t deserve a second. And if you are not fond of nerdraeg, don’t bother reading it at all; it is basically me describing how BAAAD it is in not so civil means.

Gunparade is one hell of a troll show when it comes to its premise. It regards a war between humans and aliens through the use of mechas. One will of course expect to see some sort of Gundam or Macross variant and to his amazement he gets slice-of-life. And indeed, the whole alien invasion is nothing but a poorly inserted element, being there in an attempt to fool the mecha/action lovers into watching a more than typical school romance show.
…And boy, did it fail hard.

To put it simply, the mecha action in this show is damn boring and hardly matters compared to some cheesy romance amongst high school kids. What you get is the usual “Oh I like her; does she like me; how will I reveal my feelings for her” stuff we see in romances, and just for the heck of it they throw in some rushed and boring missions to go fight some aliens, as intermission before more cheesy romance. So in effect the action is COMPLETELY OUT OF PLACE!

Thus in effect we get two different genres that try to get along with the neighbors in the same apartment block, but only end up becoming despised by all the other denizens. The slice-of-life/school-romance lovers will dislike the out of place mecha action in the show, while the mecha action lovers will dislike the presence of slice-of-life/school-romance, as well as poorly executed battles. How could it possibly work?

What the hell were the makers of this thinking anyway? That it would be cool to have romance blooming in the battlefield? If so, WHERE IS THE GODDAMN BATTLEFIELD? All we see is aliens wasting life on Earth for half a century and the last hope for survival is in the hands of teenage mecha pilots, who almost uncaringly go to fight them before returning to school and the usual romantic stuff. I mean HELLO you guys are the last remnants of humanity and the last hope for survival. Why are you all acting like war ain’t even there? And if the aliens managed to kill most of humanity, why are such an easy pray to a bunch of kids? Where are the special ops middle aged ace pilots? Why are the aliens invading Earth? What is their backdrop? Why is everybody acting so uncaring about all that? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Well let me tell what is going on. Absolutely nothing; the scriptwriter had the mentality of a 5 year old while making this scenario and the developers didn’t even bother to think for 5 seconds how all this is total crap. It is all so autistic, you are simply not made to care or even tolerate the whole thing. It’s like you are living in a town overrun by zombies but you act like they are not there and keep going to work while they are chewing alive your neighbors. Complete and utter crap.

What is even more baffling is how this total tard actually got green light for a sequel. OH GODS OF HEAVEN AND HELL; THE PRODUCERS ARE RETARDS! No, they can’t be that GONZO-level stupid; they were probably bribed to go along with it. There is no other logical explanation… not that there is any logic at all in this show but whatever. So who are these idiots who did such a horrible thing anyway? Oh my, if it isn’t Brain’s Base; seems like they used as less brains as possible in this one.

Anyways, the second season would be a nice way to flesh out the setting and finally offer some answers that make sense. You know, like what do the aliens want or why is everybody so autistic about them. I don’t know if you can comprehend what I am about to say but they actually somehow found a way to take a crappy story and MAKE IT EVEN WORSE!!! They must be doing this on purpose, there is no other logical explanation, THEY WANT US TO HATE THEM!

So what is going on in this sequel of sorts that managed to do the unthinkable? Simply said, they offered even less context and went as far as going for unrelated stories, each time with different people, still trying to get a kiss from some girl while firing at the aliens. Not much of a story, no explanations, nothing worth to even bother remembering or at least NOT HATING! ARRGGHH!

This is one of the worst settings I ever got to watch (and I have watched a lot). Gunparade is what should be given to scriptwriters and producers as an example of what NOT TO DO!!! Seriously man, if you so much want to have a show about teenagers piloting robots AND include romance, at least try to make some excuses of how A connects with B instead of going all autistic about it. The average human being can suspend its disbelief only up to a point and not to the point it’s all looking like the Matrix.

… What? You want some info about the technicals like animation and soundtrack? SERIOUSLY? Why would you even care after all the stuff I have been writing so far? … Oh whatever, I will just tell you the very basics and be done with it. IT’S UNIMPRESSIVE, OK? The mecha action is boring, the mechas are average-looking, the cast is made up of generic school romance teenagers, and the music is completely forgettable. Yes, not even the exterior looks nice to give a good word about. IT IS TOTALLY MEDIOCRE! There, now let me wrap this up by simply saying DON’T WATCH THIS!!!

And now for some excused scorings.

Analysis: General Artwork 1/2, Character Figures 1/2, Backgrounds 1/2, Animation 1/2, Visual Effects 1/2

Analysis: Voice Acting 1/3, Music Themes 2/4, Sound Effects 2/3

Analysis: Premise 1/2, Pacing 0/2, Complexity 0/2, Plausibility 0/2, Conclusion 0/2

Analysis: Presence 1/2, Personality 1/2, Backdrop 0/2, Development 0/2, Catharsis 0/2

Analysis: Historical Value 0/3, Rewatchability 0/3, Memorability 1/4

Analysis: Art 0/1, Sound 0/2, Story 1/3, Characters 1/4

VERDICT: 2.5/10

1/10 story
5/10 animation
5/10 sound
2/10 characters
2.5/10 overall

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