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ratchet573

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  • Joined May 9, 2011
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Riding Bean

Feb 26, 2015

What I initially thought would be an Ender's Game porno turned out to be a ridiculous eighties action story with healthy doses of blood, cars, and pedophilia to appeal to every possible demographic. Riding Bean was the precursor to my last review, Gunsmith Cats, and even contains Rally Vincent as a secondary character. But unlike Gunsmith Cats, Riding Bean kind of sucks. In what I assume is Chicago, Bean is a courier who, along with his partner Rally, get framed for kidnapping a young girl while the actual kidnappers take her father hostage and steal the ransom money. In a fit of testosterone laden action... See full review

?/10 story
?/10 animation
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?/10 characters
4/10 overall

Gunsmith Cats

Feb 26, 2015

I’ve been to Chicago a couple of times. Hell, I live two and a half hours away from the city. Because of this, Gunsmith Cats–based on a manga of the same name–was refreshing in that it is set in such a familiar place and is actually quite American in the style and themes of the story. It’s the first of the OVA’s I’ve watched so far that I was sad to see end and wonder at how it only managed a three episode run. Rally Vincent and her partner May run a gunsmith shop in Chi-town but also take the occasional mercenary job. When an ATF agent blackmails the girls into... See full review

?/10 story
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7.5/10 overall

Golden Boy

Feb 25, 2015

Golden Boy
AKA: The Benefits of Studying
One of the benefits of watching older anime of the harem/ecchi persuasion is the fact that they didn’t mind being borderline hentai. OVA’s were a huge percentage of the anime being made in the nineties and aren’t like those of present times (which tend to be tacked on extra episodes of a show that played on television). OVA’s were where experimentation could take place, risks could be made, conventions... See full review

?/10 story
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7/10 overall

The Big O

Feb 19, 2015

The first anime review I ever wrote was written four years ago and focused on The Big O. Needless to say you don’t see it on this site because it was a terribly written piece of crap comprised of two hundred words, one hundred of which laughed at the fact the robots in the series are called “Mega Deuces”. Get it? Like big poops. God I was a stupid sixteen year old. As this is the beginning of a series of reviews focusing on anime that I’ve neglected to critique for this site, I found it only fitting to rectify my getting rid of my shitty Big O review and replacing it... See full review

?/10 story
?/10 animation
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8.5/10 overall

Mekaku City Actors

Feb 10, 2015

Truth be told, it shouldn’t have taken me this long to watch Mekaku City Actors. It was released nearly a year ago by Shaft and features the style and directing of one of my all time favorite series, Monogatari. On top of that it includes a plot and characters that could fit into Araragi’s harem. It’s the kind of anime where you don’t mind the reused style because if it worked before, why the hell fix the formula? Before I get into this review I might as well state that I’ve never read the light novels nor the manga and I understand that the ending of the... See full review

?/10 story
?/10 animation
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?/10 characters
7.5/10 overall

Brynhildr in the Darkness

Feb 9, 2015

Brynhildr is an anime based on a manga written and drawn by the same guy who did the Elfen Lied manga. The Elfen Lied manga was a lot like the anime though the anime tied things up at the halfway point of the manga. This led to a huge problem because the anime ended very early without explaining anything but the manga continued and made a little more sense after the anime’s cut-off point (though went batshit and fell apart). Enter Brynhildr, an anime that is based on a manga that is ongoing and basically has every problem Elfen Lied had and then some. It ends... See full review

?/10 story
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4/10 overall

Tokyo Ghoul

Feb 6, 2015

Why I Quit Tokyo Ghoul How Many Episodes I Got Through: 2.5/12 I’ve had the worst luck with 2014’s lineup. If it’s not marginally decent it’s fucking awful. And this seems to go double for the popular titles of last year. Tokyo Ghoul is probably the most hyped up anime I know of as of late and my God was it painful to watch. It’s like Akame ga Kill with such pointless gore and attempts at being “edgy” that it comes across as overbearing and, to me, garbage. It’s the kind of thing that seems to appeal to the base level of anime fans who... See full review

?/10 story
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?/10 sound
?/10 characters
2.5/10 overall

Love Live! School Idol Project 2

Feb 5, 2015

Love Live School Idol Project is not meant for me. Reviewing a show this girly and happy is pretty much impossible based on my age, sex, and what I enjoy watching. The reason I don’t review Pretty Cure? I’m not a ten year old girl. The reason I review Love Live? Despite obviously being a show for ten year old girls it’s got a raging male fanbase that’s about my age. A year ago I wrote a review for the first season that I feel, now, complains about all the wrong things. It doesn’t at all hit the nail on the head for how to approach this series. It also complains... See full review

?/10 story
?/10 animation
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?/10 characters
5/10 overall

Tokyo ESP

Feb 3, 2015

Why I Quit: Tokyo ESP How Many Episodes I Got Through: 2/12 It’s been a rough couple of weeks as far as quitting anime goes but some of these shows are so bad I don’t understand why anyone found enjoyment in them. And this is technically the fourth show I’ve quit in the past week or so as I quit Rail Wars last night after two minutes. I figured two minutes wasn’t enough to write an entire review so here’s a tiny one to make up for that: Generic as fuck. And so is Tokyo ESP. It starts kind of promising with a fairly interesting first episode but after that... See full review

?/10 story
?/10 animation
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2.5/10 overall

Terror in Resonance

Feb 2, 2015

A long, long time ago I reviewed a little show called Eden of the East, the perfect comparison to Terror in Resonance. Each is dealing with politics, each deals with explosives, and each makes very little sense to an outside viewer due to the political and historical concepts being explored and criticized. Because of these localized concepts, Terror in Resonance has become a divisive anime among critics and many have outright quit it because of the fact it is so Japanese. I’m going to avoid going into the politics and message as much as I can because I don’t think it is... See full review

?/10 story
?/10 animation
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7/10 overall

Gonna be the Twin-Tails!!

Jan 30, 2015

WHY I QUIT: GONNA BE THE TWIN TAIL!! How Many Episodes I Made It Through: 1 of 12
Oh God. I was riding a high with Chaika, a bubble instantly popped by this egregious pile of donkey shit. I mean, I couldn't have expected much going in but I at least expected a laugh or two. And is it sad that four minutes into the show I could tell it was based off of a light novel? Because it is and the light novel market must be in a sad state when nearly every anime I've ever reviewed based on a novel crafted by someone who was actually published is complaining about how fucking shitty it... See full review

?/10 story
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2/10 overall

Chaika: The Coffin Princess

Jan 29, 2015

I had no idea what I was getting into when I started Chaika: The Coffin Princess. Hadn’t read a synopsis, hadn’t looked at a genre. I only knew that Chaika’s face was a meme, so this was going to be a completely new experience for me. I was pleasantly surprised by what I got. The titular Coffin Princess is our main character and perhaps the most moe girl I’ve come across in years (more on that later). When lost in a forest and chased by a unicorn that wants to kill her, she teams up with a saboteur named Toru and his sister, Akari. Why does Chaika carry a coffin around? It... See full review

?/10 story
?/10 animation
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?/10 characters
6/10 overall

Akame ga Kill!

Jan 26, 2015

Why I Quit 
(Imprresions based on watching episodes 1-3) As a critic, most people expect that I can sit through the worst anime imaginable in order to produce a review. And sometimes it can seem that way. I’ve watched terrible shows all the way through and written long-winded complaints but you’ll notice a preponderance of higher scored shows plaguing my repertoire rather than an abundance of lower scores. There’s a simple reason for that: I can’t force my way through garbage. If a show is particularly awful, such as Akame ga Kill, I’ll give it three episodes to... See full review

?/10 story
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3/10 overall

Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya 2wei!

Jan 26, 2015

It seems contradictory and abominable to follow up a review of an excellent Fate series with a review of a dreadful one, but what better way to kill the anticipation for Unlimited Blade Works’ second season than watching something that turns the entire franchise into a joke? After all, who can’t help but laugh at the giant freaking title? What is it with anime having ridiculously long, pointless titles comprised of gibberish? It’s a month after Illya got her magic wand, Ruby, and things are going swimmingly. They’ve captured all seven... See full review

?/10 story
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5/10 overall

Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works

Jan 22, 2015

So let me get this out of the way: Fate/Zero is one of my favorite anime of all time and one of the finest examples of the medium I can come up with in the past ten years. Despite many flaws, the story was gritty and intense, the characters well-rounded and enjoyable, and the sparse action scenes were fantastic. So it's only natural I'd go into Fate/Stay Night with huge expectations. Despite being a fan of Fate/Zero I've never been able to watch Fate/Stay Night because of how...well, crappy it is. The writing is awful, the animation isn't that great, and I've never found... See full review

7/10 story
10/10 animation
8/10 sound
8/10 characters
9/10 overall

The Fruit of Grisaia

Jan 20, 2015

After watching about half of the first episode of The Fruit of Grisaia I was going to give up. It was just panty shots and nudity and unfunny comedy with a cast I could only assume would be as boring as every other cast of anime girls being tossed together with a single male and forced to fight for the right to make out with him. I steeled myself past the first episode though and started to see that the anime was just another cutesy piece of crap that I'd most likely give a four or five and forget about. Then...well, the anime decides that nothing goes better with panty shots, a girl... See full review

?/10 story
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7/10 overall

Durarara!!

Jan 17, 2015

Durarara!! is the kind of anime that only comes once in a blue moon. It's an anime that is praised exceptionally by nearly everyone and deserves much of that praise. In fact, it's an anime that you've most likely already seen and have an opinion about. Four years ago it played on Adult Swim where it garnered a lot of attention from a group of anime fans who'd never seen something so uniquely written and laid out. It's a show that makes you want to live in its' world and also get to know all of its' characters. The rare kind of show that pulls you in and keeps you watching out of obsession and total... See full review

?/10 story
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8.5/10 overall

Slayers Return

Jan 8, 2015


The second film in the Slayers franchise finds Lina and Naga being approached by a young girl with a job proposition. Her village has been enslaved by a bad guy hoping to unleash an elvish creature that will lead him to world domination. Naga and Lina, hoping to make some money, wind up doing battle against this creature in a pretty underwhelming and otherwise unnecessary sixty minute film. There’s really no point reiterating my thoughts on Naga and Lina, or the animation and music. There’s... See full review

?/10 story
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5/10 overall

Slayers: The Book of Spells

Jan 8, 2015

The Book of Spellsis a three episode OVA series taking place either before the television series or in a separate universe (I’m still unclear about this and I’ve found no definitive answer as to the chronology). That means that we’re focusing on Lina and Naga, who pretty much ruined the first movie. I have no understanding why they kept going with Naga and Lina as companions considering how dull and lifeless the series becomes without some of the more developed characters we’ve come to love. Nonetheless, this OVA series has the animation of the first film, which means it looks... See full review

?/10 story
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4/10 overall

Slayers Next

Jan 7, 2015

If you loved The Slayers, you’ll love Slayers Next. Okay, end review. But here’s more review in case you wanted it: The first season of The Slayers introduced us to a mostly likeable cast of morons who together formed one of the most memorable parties in anime. They fought some empathetic villains, engaged in generally hilarious antics, and this was all within a very 90’s package. The second season keeps pretty much all of those aspects intact. We follow Lina, the impulsive, rude, and some might say evil lead whose goal this time is to get a Claire Bible manuscript. Following her are... See full review

?/10 story
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8/10 overall

Slayers: The Motion Picture

Jan 4, 2015

The first of the Slayers movies gives us a mildly amusing story with the introduction of a new main character and a lot more uniqueness to the world than the main television series was able to produce. That said, it falls flat in nearly every way and doesn’t entertain as thoroughly as the series did.             In this film Lina runs into Naga, a dark mage and Lina’s biggest rival, and the two decide to run off to a hot spring island that was once populated by elves. When they get there they face off against a myriad of mostly hilarious... See full review

?/10 story
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5/10 overall

Slayers

Jan 4, 2015

The Slayers is considered one of, if not the, most popular anime of the nineties. Based on a huge series of light novels (over fifty) The Slayers is a comedic response to the more serious fantasy anime of the time, most notably Record of Lodoss War. This first season of Slayers came out in 1995 and I feel it’s only right to watch and review this series as we approach its’ twentieth birthday. So for the next few weeks, we’ll be exploring all five seasons of the show, as well as the movies... See full review

?/10 story
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?/10 characters
8/10 overall

Full Metal Panic!

Dec 30, 2014

After being torn over season two of Sword Art Online I was hoping to watch something I could clearly review as either bad or good, something simple to talk about. Full Metal Panic!came up as a recommendation and I figured I’d really enjoy it, especially given how funny the first couple of episodes were. But as it progressed it got a little muddied as it was balancing two genres and couldn’t find a focus. This review is going to give my first impressions of this show as a whole but I do want the reader to know that it’s a show I want to watch again in the future now that I know that the... See full review

?/10 story
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?/10 characters
5/10 overall

Psycho-Pass 2

Dec 20, 2014

I haven’t watched a lot of current anime so I figured with the finale of Psycho-Pass 2 having come out this week it’s as good a time as any to play a bit of catch-up and check out the series that have been getting praise this past year. Psycho-Pass is a good start as the first season is one of my favorite anime ever and this second season has been rather divisive among fans and critics, meaning it’s time for me to formulate an opinion. The first season of Psycho-Pass was written by Gen Urobuchi and was a mix between cyberpunk and a dystopian future, something that worked really well and... See full review

?/10 story
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8/10 overall

Noir

Dec 20, 2014

The thriller genre of anime concerning real places and typically political ideas is sparse. Despite the versatility of the medium in being able to create technically amazing shoot-outs (you’d think we’d see more John Woo style action in anime) there doesn’t seem to be many examples out there. And to make things even worse, the few examples are, for the most part, less than exceptional. Black Lagoon and Phantom: Requiem for the Phantomare the only anime of this type I’d go so far as to recommend; everything else tends to be on the bad side. I was recommended checking out the Bee... See full review

?/10 story
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4/10 overall

Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040

Dec 17, 2014

Prefacing this review comes the prerequisite warning I place in front of a lot of reviews I do of anime from the nineties; I grew up on nineties science fiction anime and can appreciate the character archetypes and the themes that are the meat of adult-oriented shows from the period. Thus, I have a soft spot for an anime like Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040that, while flawed in some respects, I still think is a semi-intelligent, entertaining romp through an underdeveloped science fiction world. It’s the year 2040 (duh) and Linna Yamazaki has gone from her comfortable life in the country to a crazy life... See full review

?/10 story
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7.5/10 overall

Tenchi Muyo! GXP

Dec 1, 2014

Tenchi Muyo was part of my early childhood thanks to my father, who to this day still loves the series. About a year ago I tackled the most popular of the Tenchi series, Tenchi Muyo Universe, which was a fun adventure with a likeable cast and some occasionally good humor and antics. It’s not a perfect show by any means but it’s still a lot of fun and has some enjoyable science fiction concepts.And it’s also a prevalent part of my childhood, which is a probably reason it’s... See full review

?/10 story
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5/10 overall

Girls und Panzer

Oct 30, 2014

As you may notice I tend to stop watching anime all the time. Sudden bursts of activity are followed by stagnant periods of inactivity. This is pretty much due to the fact the majority of anime I watch is so average or subpar, I get sick and tired of it. Despite all these anime having different plots and characters, they still manage to have the same plot and the same characters. And after seeing enough anime that contains two dimensional everything, I kind of move on to watching movies and finding... See full review

2/10 story
5/10 animation
5/10 sound
3/10 characters
3.5/10 overall

Aldnoah.Zero

Sep 22, 2014

When a group of great minds get together to make an anime, you expect a lot and you’re right to do so. After all, a Gen Urobuchi anime with Hiroyuki Sawano composing the music (Kill la Kill, Attack on Titan) and A-1 Pictures doing the animation can most definitely not be bad, can it? It’s a dream collaboration and I was pretty excited when it was announced, and much less excited now that the first season is over. Before you start typing up your angry comments about whatever it is you’re angry about, allow me to spend the rest of this review telling you why Aldnoah.Zero is a slightly above... See full review

4/10 story
8.5/10 animation
7/10 sound
5/10 characters
6/10 overall

Speed Grapher

Aug 13, 2014

In all my years of watching anime I’ve encountered some really strange shows that left me scratching my head. But in all this time, despite the Boku no Pico‘s and the Kodomo no Jikan‘s, and even the Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures, I’ve never encountered anything quite as strange as Speed Grapher, a Gonzo anime from 2005. And this isn’t a strange anime in that it’s inherently difficult to understand or presents itself as wacky comedy, it’s strange because... See full review

6.5/10 story
4/10 animation
4/10 sound
7/10 characters
7.5/10 overall