Thrawn

This review will be in the form of an intellectual, usual DMC Fan: STORY: LISTEN UP YOU BITCH PIGS DETROIT METAL CITY IS THE GREATEST SHIT EVER. FUCKING DEATH METAL ANIME THAT KICKS THE SHIT OUT OF ALL THOSE OTHER BITCH MUSIC ANIMES. FUCK. ALL. OF. THEM. THEY DON'T SING SONGS ABOUT RAPE MURDER, MURDER, RAPE, AND THEY BITCH SHOWS AIN'T AS FAITHFUL TO THEIR ORIGINAL SOURCE MATERIAL AS THIS IS. PURE. PERFECTION, IT'S LIKE I'M READING THIS SHIT INSTEAD OF JUST WATCHING IT. THE SHEER INTELLECTUAL DUMBFUCKERY OF THE FANBASE, THE SHIT THAT IS LIKE THE ACTUAL DIALOGUE OF THE MANGA BUT WHAT I APPRECIATE IS... See full review

Story: Dog Soldiers? More like Shit Soldiers, amirite? But I kid, except I'm not because this is absolute crap. I also wanted this bit to be the first thing people see when they check out the reviews and come upon mine. I'm a real class act. Anyway, this Japanese Rambo lacks the sensitivity and psychological overtones with a resistance to killing ala First Blood and the brutal ass stomping of a despotic military where people get cleaved in half by anti-tank rifles and other throat ripping badassery ala Rambo IV. I don't know about the movies inbetween, but I'm sure Shit Soldier lacks the action-packed... See full review

Story: I'm going to name some things and you tell me how they're related: Nazis. Nuns. King Arthur and (Knights of) the Round Table. French Revolution (Reign of Terror bit with the guillotine). Magic wizbiz. Present Day Japan. What do all these things have in common? They're things, and they're all in the superb anime Dies Irae, translated to This Irae by Google Translator but by A-P, Days of Wrath. Considering the plot, either one works. But basically, this show is about a bunch of Nazis in a Round Table esque Nazi collective that deals with magical nazi wizbiz being resurrected in Japan like some... See full review

Oh man... I don't know how to start this. I need some help. Maybe Idiocracy can show me the way. Because we got an OVA of the hit show of the decade, where... ugh. This gets me all depressed, even to talk about it. Look, if you're reading this, you already know what it's about. Or what the main series is about. Well, it's like getting an arrow shot into you. You just gotta hack off one end and push it back out or something. If it went straight through. But you see that? That right there, is a metaphor. A metaphor for how fucked up this shit is. How fucked up everything is right now. How bad shit... See full review

Story: You know how much I- Stop, hold it. Hold it, stop the review. Cool. Think of this as a disclaimer from the editor, who is also the writer. To be frank, read the manga. Not just because it's longer, but because it's funnier, more entertaining and the anime cuts out some of the jokes and gags. For those who read it, it's just not as good as the manga but is still a good adaptation and has a few easter eggs to be found with a cameo or two. To those who haven't watched it, it will be entertaining with some pacing issues. Again, read the manga. Back to the review, paused for your... See full review

Everything: Check this out. Taken out of context and based on this alone: 10/10 Taken in context: 10/10 Two creeps and a guy in the window unseen watching Dracula eat a hamburger: 10/10 Dracula eating a hamburger: 10/10 You just saw the movie, which is a bunch of shit leading to Dracula eating a hamburger, where it should have ended but it went on for 20 more minutes. What it did after Dracula ate his hamburger, I have no idea. I lost interest because I sat through 50 odd minutes to watch a few seconds of Dracula eating a burger. Sure there were wheelchair fights, a guy fighting a guy in a... See full review

Vile shitbags draining the blood of a young, helpless, maiden against her consent in ever-escalating, creepy sadistic ways. I've seen a hefty load of shitty anime in my days, but this... this is on par with Funny Pets, one of my most hated shows ever. In all seriousness, this has to be one of the most vile, disgusting, repulsive and humanity-slapping series I've had the unholy misfortune of watching while lacking anything redeemable or anything that might qualify as a guilty pleasure for that one specific trait. Not so bad it's good, no so bad it's hilarious, not so bad it's bad, but so bad that it makes... See full review

Story: Holy shit guy, holy fucking shit. This plot man, it's like you just knocked out a lion with your balls. It's that fucking kickass and right now, I'm referring to that fucking kickass final fight, which is a total digiboner. Two digiboners actually. Man, that fight alone? Makes it 11/10 for being so fuckballs amazing and the pinnacle of everything thus far. Totally kicks the shit out of the next Digimovie and the second season for being so pimptastic and just so damn awesome. So fucking amazing that it's worth watching for that moment alone. So amazing. Alright, other stuff. Seriously,  I... See full review

Death Billiards! Woo! Time for a badass game of pool! TO THE DEATH! And let me tell you, I was totally psyched to watch Death Billiards because I judged it solely on the title. Not on the studio or any flim-flammery that deals with what it's about by a synopsis or what have you, but by this badass title. Death Billiards, because regular 8-Ball just ain't enough. And what the title implies is what you get: A game of billiards to the death, but wait, there's more! It's much more than a game to the death and I got my surprise on that front. It goes deeper than that and considering the short run-time of this... See full review