Thrawn

Story What the fuck did I just watch. The fuck was this shit? It was about lolis, a oddly finely rounded loli ass, a busty older sister and a duck? They fight evil, and I guess they save old men? Or old man? But... I don't... I don't even- What the fucking shit. Wait, I know what the fucking shit! Lolis! Feeling up lolis! Police at your door! Feds through the window! You frantically destroying your computer and any and all evidence of this on your harddrive or in your browser history! You fucking tear that shit up before they find it. Before you are shamed infront of your family. You say that you... See full review

Story Well. Because it was Slice of Life + Androids + Niceguy's pick, I thought it would be shit. I've seen an android/SoL before that was picked by Niceguy on two separate occasions and both were shit. This movie, wasn't shit. This has feels, it has some laughs, it has more feels and some heavy depressing shit. It has the whole drama package and for some reason giraffes. The giraffes are very important to the plot which I will get to soon. Giraffes man. I have no fucking idea why they were so relevant or so important to the plot but the title drop had them for some reason and apparently it's a... See full review

Story This shit is about dog boners.  But I kid, it's only about a dog who wants to bone his totally legal age owner, if 17 is legal in Japan because I don't know what the legal age of... shit man, whatever it is in your country, it's probably... prob... Shit, what the fuck. The fuck is all this? I'll tell you what it is. It's just like the OVA. I don't know what to tell you. I mean, just look at the cover. You see that shit? You would think she's like... 12 or something. 14? I don't know, but younger than she actually is. And that dog is probably older than her when you convert dog years to... See full review

Story Rainbow boners. Which is irrelevant because the tone was set by the subtitle. But let me explain: This shit is boners. It is all about the voice acting of an H-Game. And they have to get into character, if you know what I mean. I don't mean nudity, but getting wet. By sucking fingers and imagining you're in it. Which I mean she, who is the newbie to the porn game business. And... hm. Hmmmmmm. Ok ok, let me restart: This girl is recruited by her sister to help out in a porn game for some reason or another. The reason is irrelevant because once the sound kicks in and the rainbow censor-boners kick... See full review

Story It is about a group of buxom, nubile, female warrior vixens who are scantily clad. Do you want more? Hm. I guess it's technically about a Fighter, sexy Paladin, best Magician and dark elf... warrior/mage hybrid, I guess. She isn't really a magic knight as she- wait, she might be classified as one because since she's using magic, she can't wear heavy armor and I guess her armor is light enough and revealing enough to not interfere with her magic while still using a sword. Yeah, guess she is a mage knight of sorts, or the equivalent of a dual-class hybrid, not specializing in either and could have... See full review

And a bloody good start it is, because I love the shit out of the manga. The everloving crap out of it. So they would have had to make this all CGI, unfaithful and make it look like absolute fucking shit for me to hate it. Fortunately, there is no shitty ass CGI (That I remember), it's faithful, and it looks good. And looks faithful to it, complete with horse head mask, which would have looked great in a suit but packs quite a punch. Straight up, boners for survival games. That is my sub-genre of anime/manga: death games. This has killer hide and seek, more killer hide-and-seek, a killer... kinda like a... See full review

Story Going into it, I thought to myself, "Hum, The Cat Returns." Not "Shit, kiddy movies? Man, this is balls" or anything of the like. Just ho-hum as I knew, for a fact, that this next movie, would look like a dog's breakfast after the previous day's raging bonerfest of scenery porn by the master of scenery porn, Makoto Shinkai. Movie was Kotonoha no Niwa (The Garden of Words) but that is neither here nor there. Just had to namedrop it. The point is, I had no expectations for it. Man, not having expectations and then... See full review

These are some questional boners. My thoughts summed up in one sentence, and everything else is details. You've heard of many interpretations about what this video means, what this represents and the sheer amount of fanservice, be it titties, heaving ass or some real niche fetish stuff that kinda mixes into the boners and it gets real weird before long. I'm all about the last bits. So, the weirdness. There's a switch for it and once it's flicked, it doesn't let up. It turns into a bad acid trip and I love it for that. It starts off happy and shit, all glorious fanservice and this happy-go-lucky pop-j... See full review

Story Don't you be fooled by that cover image, because this OVA is a brutal, savage look at a world where a stuffed bear can go about and maul the everloving fuck out of bank robbers and dolls can do things. The doll would be spoilers because she is absolutely darling! But in tune with this OVA, brutal and moralistically ambiguous. Ness. First off, it starts with a bank robbery and child endangerment, which is more like taking a child hostage and threatening to splatter his brains all over the place. The bank robbers, in their genius ingeniousness failed to take into account the face wrecking... See full review

Rescue Me? More like Rescue Me From All These Boners, amirite? Story? Shit, you see that page image? That is your story: Soft white skin, boobs and the lack thereof in the flat-chested gal and all kinds of sexy boner action. I mean, titties a bouncin' and maid- aprons, sexy nude aprons with the optional panties because sometimes, you just need that all natural feel of the fabric on your crotch. The butt is always left out there. Speaking of butts, this OVA lacks gratuitous ass shots. They could have added loads of butt shots with all the boob shots but they completely neglected that market despite... See full review

I thought they namedropped "The Landlord of Puberty". Her short hair, busty stature is still quite nice and is kinda the cliffsnotes of a 2 minute show that runs for 12-13 episodes. But still an ad for products, probably of the show and its cooresponding manga pre-adaptation. I don't know what else you want. All I wanted was "The Landlord of Puberty", which is actually kinda wrong now that I think about it. Really wrong but lets assume that the landlord is some prepubescent twerp/shouta who somehow inherits his grandmother's small apartment complex and a bunch of hotties older than... See full review

Secret Santa 2015 Review Story Panty fights. That ought to be a secondary title or the actual title because that is what this show is: panties and fights. Fights and panties. Panties vs panties as skirts are flapping about and panties are flying in your face with everybody getting flashed and boners about because everybody loves panties and this show has as much panties as Seikon no Qwaser has titties. Or Seikon no Qwaser II. And everybody knows those two shows are the most titty shows on AP. Legends have been made on their tittiness as legends have been made on this show and it's pantiness... See full review

Story: It's like a kinetic visual novel. These guys talk to you in respective situations and it's all somewhat sexy until you get to the older gentleman in episode 11 when it becomes pure lady boners. They range from car rides, in bed with that cutie in episode 1, the twins in a bed in the academy where you are a poor pauper because it totally looks like something straight out of a hentai, a library to schools and a shouta's house. Because you are the babysitter. And it gets kinda creepy. They talk to you, ask you some stuff and through talking, you learn about them a bit and it's all great but it needed... See full review

DTAB Presents: It has Butt in the title. This is the best shit ever! Story: But seriously, it is called Butt Attack. That immediately says "You will love this one. It's butts." And I loved it to an extent, because although it's butts and about a Christian getting persuaded by a Buddha to don the superhero garnments of a pervert to battle the Dark Buddha cult with her ass, I don't know where I'm going with this. Let me start again: What do butts and religion have in common? Absolutely nothing, because you prostate yourself infront of your deity, get on your knees, bow, anything that... See full review

Oh man... I don't know how to start this. I need some help. Maybe Idiocracy can show me the way. Because we got an OVA of the hit show of the decade, where... ugh. This gets me all depressed, even to talk about it. Look, if you're reading this, you already know what it's about. Or what the main series is about. Well, it's like getting an arrow shot into you. You just gotta hack off one end and push it back out or something. If it went straight through. But you see that? That right there, is a metaphor. A metaphor for how fucked up this shit is. How fucked up everything is right now. How bad shit... See full review

Story: I actually missed the first 10 minutes of this suckfest so I don't know if I missed much of the plot or anything BUT I did miss some worldbuilding because the first 3 minutes is always spent on narrating for whatever crapsack world some shit like this is taking place in. But all that? Total peanuts because what you're here for is demon on demon- oh, wait, I'm thinking of something else. Demon on Demon Hunter/Fighter (But isn't actually a demon) action. Admittedly, I'm starting to confuse this with some other shit I watched so bare with me, because we'll get to the goodies soon. But there is demon on... See full review

Story: Rail Wars? More like Ass Trains, am I right? Now that is a cold opener: A witty, clever joke on how there's loads of fine, firm female fbutts. And some man's butt for the ladies. MC has a nice ass. But the girls, they have fine asses. They even had a 15 second shot of the President lady walking with the camera firmly stuck on her rear. I counted. But seriously, I counted the time after watching it a few times. Best. Episode. Ever. But really, there is a surprising amount of ass considering it's about trains and shit. At first, you might be thinking: "Train Wars Rail Wars? Man, this has to be... See full review

Yet another DTAB Shitfest Story: "The fuck is going on?" and it's similiar profane questioning statements at whatever the fuck was going on appeared many times, as some kind of fuckery beyond my understanding went on before my eyes. As elevators go to different worlds (?), clocks and cages in a grandfather clock- I mean, a big... cloc- uh, what? Shit man, it made no fucking sense. But it goes to an amusement park (Childhood and being young and innocent until the circus because everybody knows circuses/Carnivale are evil) where shit happens, to a mansion or castle where shit occurs and to a... See full review

A few things to get out of the way before we begin: 1. This was part of DTAB. 2. This was nominated by Brad. 3. Fuck you Brad. 4. Seriously, fuck you for picking this out of your loli fetish porn stash. 5. To the government watchdogs, I direct your attention to the guy who said we should watch this, and I quote without removing two names of people who watched this and far less sorrid shows about giant tits, milk squirting out of said tits and giant ass mammories that get sucked on for... See full review

Story: Let's say I didn't read the synopsis, or the back of the cover of the VHS box. Lets say I went in knowing that there was a mask of a guy called Ze-Guy, or The Guy, and judging by the front cover or poster image of this... thing, it's about a girl, a clearly evil hot chick in the background who pulls the strings and that is actually all I registered at first. Nothing else seemed important. Actual plots, it's about the Mask of Ze-Guy. And... it does stuff. Combined with the Heavenly Gates or "The Gates of Wind", which is a giant ass Shinto gate in the sky, it grants one immortal... See full review

Story: A lord of evil, prince of darkness, Satan, dark overlord etc etc was the guy who made an entire world collectively crap their pants as he sent his forces of evil to kick ass and take names until their names were taken and kicked to the curb by the heroes. But, total but, he vamoosed with his second in command bro Azaziel in all but name (because his name is totally different) to Earth, where he becomes a grill jockey for MickyD's. If it were aiming for something more realistic, a guy of evil would be working for Taco Bell. And Burger McFlipsters is from a Canadian show, rendering it unusable. Point... See full review

Story: You know how much I- Stop, hold it. Hold it, stop the review. Cool. Think of this as a disclaimer from the editor, who is also the writer. To be frank, read the manga. Not just because it's longer, but because it's funnier, more entertaining and the anime cuts out some of the jokes and gags. For those who read it, it's just not as good as the manga but is still a good adaptation and has a few easter eggs to be found with a cameo or two. To those who haven't watched it, it will be entertaining with some pacing issues. Again, read the manga. Back to the review, paused for your... See full review

Story: I don't know what's worse: The plot, which is a confusing, exposition-filled mess that explains a whole bunch of nothing while failing to explain some of the important bits. Or the dialogue, which is some of the worst shit I've had the misfortune to listen to. So let's start with the plot. Nope, not explaining or defining the start because the show didn't do that. It just throws you right into the ocean and tells you to "swim bitch", where it only gets worse as it throws in jinboism and what can only be a combination of jive, slang, fantasy mumbo jumbo and second language english. I did... See full review

Story? So basically, a ship to Mars or from Mars that was from Earth is going to burn up in reentry into Earth's atmosphere but it actually explodes despite the subs or narration text saying it burned up. Then a bunch of years happened and these super martians come to earth or are already on earth and are ready to throw down, Bobby Flay style. Obviously, hot teenage chicks (That is wrong on two levels that I know of, the second one later) and a token harem guy are the only force that stands between the martians and making earth Mars 2. I think. Really, the plot is a jumbled mess and throws in a power... See full review

Everything: Check this out. Taken out of context and based on this alone: 10/10 Taken in context: 10/10 Two creeps and a guy in the window unseen watching Dracula eat a hamburger: 10/10 Dracula eating a hamburger: 10/10 You just saw the movie, which is a bunch of shit leading to Dracula eating a hamburger, where it should have ended but it went on for 20 more minutes. What it did after Dracula ate his hamburger, I have no idea. I lost interest because I sat through 50 odd minutes to watch a few seconds of Dracula eating a burger. Sure there were wheelchair fights, a guy fighting a guy in a... See full review

Story: What the shit is this fuck. I do not even fucking know. I don't even know where to begin on this buffalo dump. The "plot"? The inconsistency? The random ass "Fanservice" moments? The animation? The sound? The characters I don't give a rat's fuzzy ass about? The "romantic vomit-inducing subplot"? EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHIT IS FUCKING SHIT. EVERY. FUCKING. THING- Fucking A... let me start again, with sanity. Who made this agai- Idea Factory Shit. You know what else they shat out? School City... See full review

I don't know much about idol dolls or "Vocaloids", which I believe are computer idol girls but this is most certainly, nearly positively, 90% sure a tie-in to one of them, quite possibly named Miss Monochrome. Is it the EP with her dancing and singing? Maybe. Is it the dream of becoming an idol? Possibly. Is it the facts that she can plug into stuff, charge up, has a castle and 180 Quadrillion yen? Yes, sure, royal and super. Despite my lack of knowledge and accurate facts, one doesn't need a background to enjoy the bite-sized minisodes. And enjoy I did, I guess. I got nearly a laugh per episode... See full review

Catching Up With Fall MM Story: Plot in a real ecchi is like plot in a porno: It's nice to have but not what you're here for. Obviously this applies for Walkure Romanze as well as the fact that it's ecchi jousting which goes further to say that any and all plot is completely irrelevant in the face of ecchi jousting, complete with sexy gear, jousting, hot girls jousting, more jousting and holy fucking shit it's a fucking jousting anime. When was the last time you saw a jousting anime that looked this hot? Not enough is what, this caters to a niche genre while catering to the perverted masses. It's all about... See full review

Spoilers about some plots and stuff. Not that you're watching it for plot or any dumb shit like that. Story: This failed as much as Tits-Chan did in the first six episodes of failure. Or five. The point is she failed. A lot. Constantly. It got incredibly depressing when she rode that fail train all on down the line and let me tell you, again, repeatedly, she. Fucking. Failed. In each episode's crappy ass wrestling moments which were filled breast to breast with moaning, it was a constant stream of fail moans. Now that's out of my system for now, I can tell you why it's worse than implants. At it's core... See full review

Story: Initially, this was five stars. That was the first episode, which was the best episode of the series bar none. By series I mean the entire shebang, first and second season because it was 70% Charlotte/Laura and promoted some delicious, scrumptious, shipping. And it was pretty much the two of them on a date of sorts, with dressing up, maid costumes and some of the most delicious crepes ever. It was the best first episode of a second season ever for those two alone. Then the rest of the series happened. Plot isn't high on the list of things IS does well but it's what you'd expect: Alternating between... See full review