Thrawn's avatar


  • Canada, eh
  • Joined Dec 27, 2009
  • 25 / M

Seikon no Qwaser

May 14, 2012

For the Buddy Group, you guys are the best!

Story: Boobs. The plot revolves around sucking the milk out of innocent virgins. Already it's a load of illogical perverted shit and it gets shittier as it goes on. To it's credit, it integrates sucking on quivering nipples as an essential plot point. And the sexual assault of young women. Pure deviency for sure, but give it credit for being completely shameless.

But alas, I'm neglecting the plot plot, which revolves around finding a macguffin, a "Theotokos of Tsarytsin" (Quoted from the Anime Entry). After watching it, I think I know what it is, but for 22 episodes I had no idea what the fuck it was and couldn't even remember the Russian name. It made no fucking sense! The reveal was so "The fuck is this shit" worthy that it was believable! After all the shit I had to endure, it felt more logical than it would have 15 episodes ago.

The shit can be summed up as half filler crap, half... other macguffin... titty fight... crap, that twists itself into a macabre of plot at the last minute. From the near rape in a maid fetish episode, to a party, to some... magical girl filler that was actually decent (You know, decent to it's standards) for titty lasers, to whatever other crap it decides to do. It's hard to explain, but in other words: If it ain't filler, it's a fight. Both with boobs. Nothing is sacred, despite the rapees being Marias (I'm not explaining this one) and nothing is left out, including tentacles. "The fuck?" you may ask? I asked myself that every fucking episode.

But it became a blur later on, as the final few episodes take it up to eleven, and after seeing what happened before, that's saying something. It takes the milk, the titties, the boobs and fucking runs with it. From the lake onward, it truly defines the season. In the most perverted, devient, sexual way possible.

And a shout out to the first EP, for being so fucking illogical that it was illogical.

Milk, it'll do your body good.

Animation: Ten out of fucking ten. Not just for them titties that range from loli to super boobs (Literally called super boobs) and I assure you, I'm more sensible reasonable than that. But for dat milk, dat jiggling and all dat rampant sexual deviency. And tentacles. The animation starts off amazing, but in the last few episodes, like that shitty ass plot, it fucking skyrockets into the stratosphere. Sans episode 24. They just couldn't top 23.

The last episodes shouldn't be spoiled, as they radiate pure erotic titty action, but the earlier stuff can be summarized as: quivering, jiggling, shaking, bouncing and groping. Which lends itself to high quality physics, and close ups, to satisfy the camera action, and I don't just mean seedy underground videos.

At this point you may ask, "But Thrawn, what about the other aspects of the visuals? This can't only be about women's mammaries." And in a sensible reply, I can say fuck that shit, everything else that may be considered animation doesn't matter in the slightest. The only things that matter are boobs, nipples and milk.

Oh, right. I can't leave without mentioning how the second OP made Phoenix look totally badass, but he's Phoenix. He always looks badass. And how it spoils so much of the shitty plot of the second half. And the second EP having heaving boobs and loli ass right when it starts. That is how you do animation for an EP.

Sound: Loved the first EP. Loved the hell out of it. I would have given it a 10/10 if I was just grading that alone, but alas, it's not boobs and I thus have to grade it fairly. Marks against it for taking it out for a crappier EP. And they replaced the decent OP with a lesser one. If they kept the originals, this would have gotten a higher score. But points to the other aspects of sound, including slapping of titties on the abdomen; the sucking and gulping down of milk; the moaning; the... nah, that's about it.

Characters: How many fingers do you have? Just for one hand. The amount of people who aren't rapists or who had their titties sucked are less than the amount of digits on that one that one hand. That's class. Know who aren't rapists? Minor characters and Phoenix. And Son of Hermes, who is one of the most decent guys in this titfest and is the only one who gets nosebleeds. And who got completely shafted in the element wheel. But this guy, he is the only one who holds himself back. That is one of the best fucking traits you can have in the show!

Phoenix is also one of the best not just because he doesn't do any sexual assaulting, but because he is so stoic that he doesn't fall for the titty charms of all these bitches. But he appreciates small boobs, just because the writers didn't want him to stick out too much.

If they are a Qwaser (Translated from Titty Sucker), then they are there to do the work of the unjust, to exploit women and make them feel good to get them powers. Overall, the other characters don't matter in the slightest: not emo titty-squeeze Sasha, not big tits, big heart, small brain Tomo, not obviously tsundere lackluster tits Mafuyu, Teresa matters for being so cute, not haters gonna hate Hana, not anybody else in this farce.

If there is character development, it's probably shallow and wouldn't elict much emotion. Exceptions are few but, you know, the titty sucking will return shortly.

Overall: It was shit. The saving grace was the titties, mammaries, jugs, hooters, nipples, milk machines, udders, boobs, breasts and the messy finish after sucking some. Not so much a saving grace but the only reason one should watch this. But I do have to give it credit for having enough titties to warrant a sequel.

2/10 story
10/10 animation
5/10 sound
2/10 characters
2/10 overall

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Naga Jun 4, 2013

Genious review. You have most dirty, yet so rich power of speach... love it. :3