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Thrawn

  • Canada, eh
  • Joined Dec 27, 2009
  • 22 / M

Roots Search

Nov 5, 2013

Story: Woah. This shit was fucking mindblowing, like six shotguns pointed at your brain and they all go off all at once. It's deep, philosophical, religious, mythological, mind-altering crack meth, The Thing in space, Alien- Or Aliens, either or but minus the ass kicking anybody who duct tapes a bunch of guns together to kick some ass culminating in a scrotum-wrecking mama bear finale that kicks ass, Cthulhu, penis tentacles and my favorite, asphyxiation for it's wacked up spelling.

Basically, I had no idea what the fuck was going on or how much was smoked when the last five minutes rolled around because it made not a lick of sense. Not. A fucking. Lick. Shit. Shit, even the part before that final five didn't make much sense because it just fucking trips out to it's own jive, it gets so- The last time I was this conflicted on plots rating was when I watched Devander, and I couldn't even rate the story on that because it was fucked up. And this, is fucked up. But, I can give it points on atmosphere, which it does well, and alien drug hallucinations because that shit is fly. Everything is fly. Fly is drugs.

I also missed the opening ten minutes but when I rewatched it after I watched the rest of it where I was half alert and barely paying attention, it still didn't make much sense because how do you explain alien penis tentacles?

Animation: Not bad, not bad, and by not bad I mean shit. It looks like ass. But it's 80s anime, the ghetto age where you were allowed to draw tentacle dicks.

Sound: Oh god. On one hand, the music is the best part about the sound. On the other hand, the gun sounds are fucking pussy shit because they sound as weak as a kitten. You ever fired kitten lasers? It's a weak sound. And the VO? Generally shit because it wasn't dubbed and I'm more unforgiving towards subbed shit. Especially Doucheface Fucking Eat Shit and Die, hated everything about his punk ass.

Characters: Right off, Douchedick Scott is such a raging cockbag that I'm not even going to warn you that he dies. Douchebags always die in horror movies, and this ass bucket dies in the worst way possible. Second worst but very eldritchy. You know the term. And everybody else? Like I give two shits about them. Ryuusuke or Main Guy, he does shit. Girl is psychic or something but trips out on inner space drugs and makes shit get trippy; That guy who is big, and doctor guy? I really have no clue. Totally unimportant.

Overall: It had atmosphere, it had drug trips, it had a completely fucking doped up ending that explains absofucking nothing at all because the fuck was that shit? The fuck was that? It gets so fucked up that I don't even know how to rate the story. I just slapped on a 5 because I had no fucking clue until I realized that I don't even think that I justified enough shit to give it a 5. You can watch better shit than this for your horror. Hell, go watch Dracula Eat a Burger. It's Dracula eating a burger.

5/10 story
3/10 animation
4/10 sound
3/10 characters
3/10 overall

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