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Thrawn

Kampfer

BASED ON 12 OF 12 EPS WATCHED
1 JUL
2013

DTAB presents yet another crappy anime, but one devoid of nudity, sufficient violence and plot.

Story: Talking about the story depresses me. I mean, look at the A-P Entry! It's boobs! You don't expect plot or any of that fancy shit when the first picture of the series you see is a girl going "Awww, my bra doesn't fit anymore!". But it does provide a plot and before I get to it, let me make a quick... relation to it, a harbinger of boobs if you will. The progression is like Seikon no Qwaser II. Plot in the first few episodes and then some filler shit that barely touches on plot. If you know Seikon no Nipples, you know what that means. If you don't, it means that the plot is fucking shit and what's there is shit. And fanservice but here minus the tits and milk.

And the plot itself, it starts reasonable enough. This tool- I mean this pussy of a wussy guy Natsuru wakes up to find that his girly bod turns into a sexy full-woman model of a luscious bod. Obviously he would grope that shit up infront of a full-length mirror, fondling and taking it for a ride but surprise surprise, he doesn't! He panics about it! What kind of guy takes that second course of action? With knockers like that and a fine ass, who wouldn't check it out?

Yes yes, I know this may sound creepy with him being a guy and all but the guy is, taking both sides into account, 90% girl so it's totally cool that I'm being all creepy about it. It's my job to be creepy about it and none of the other characters (That know about his "tragic" secret) care. Because why it was the most pussy tool of all the guys out there that gets turned into a babe, is because of Kampfers. Which, I should totally explain.

Which, in turn, is a problem. I didn't give a shit but I'll try: A Kampfer (Please excuse the lack of an umlaut, those two little dots indicating metalness above a vowel) is a chick who fights other Kampfer chicks with either a gun or a bladed weapon. Reds fight Blues and a twist later on because why the fuck not. Seriously, the twist about the combatants doesn't matter much. Hardly makes a difference to the fighting schtick and along with the Kampfers before I derail is the Moderators, which are kinda disturbing. They're disemboweled animals (You don't want to know) in a form of some sort of suicide- death, by this I mean hanging, seppuku (Yes), electrocution, burned alive (Really, you don't want to know) and all sorts of twisted shit. I don't know what they really moderate but I think they just choose unwilling and innocent teenage chicks to join in their fun and sadism (It's logical because you know, boobs. Why have a bunch of dudes fighting when you can have a bunch of chicks fighting).

All this adds up to explanations, and the explanations... man, I can't use shit again. But they're to put it sanely and non-sweary, terrible. Unbelievably terrible. Revelations and fixes to problems are as bad as having your ball sack used as a speed sack, one of those things boxers use to rapidly beat the shit out of. Seriously bad. And there is a noticable difference between the so-so first half (In comparison) to the dreadful second half. It doesn't take a dive, it goes into the negatives as it plummets to the bottom of an acid-spiked air piranha filled chasm. And the ending was puppy kicking bad. But that's episode 11 because 12 provides one of the biggest mind fucks of the series and is just "The fuck did I just watch" bad. I actually don't know which one ended on a more horrible or horrifying note...

Speaking of, episodic plots. They themselves range from bad to, you guessed it, horrifying. Really demented stuff that makes me wonder who came up with this fucked up shit. This is mostly prevalent in the obligatory culture festival episode and to give it credit, I think it delves into a bit of plots in episodes mostly filled with non-plot shit. It's like 15 minutes of fanservice crap and then 5 minutes of plots sometimes. Sort of plots, sometimes it just introduces a new character. This really doesn't matter but I just wanted to mention that culture festival bit because that has some stuff that creeped me out.

Woah woah woah, you don't think that I'd end this without talking about the fanservice, did ya? Here, it's according to plot, which is absol-fucking-lutely zero. The fanservice comes in the form of all these bitches wanting to nail that new piece of fine ass Natsuru. Wha? Well, I'll get back to this naming conundrum but for now, everybody wants to tap it. EVERYBODY. Why? Because she is the new meat and needs some tenderizing.

Yeah, we go there. It fills all the staples of an ecchi and harem, all the locations, all the fetish elements, all the pointless shit that hardly deals with the actual plot of bitches fighting and shit because why have that stupid ass plot when you can have fanservice-laden episodes? Filler! Except it's not adequate in fanserviceyness, it has the cleavage and les-yay elements but it lacks the bounce and gratuitous panty shots. It's as if it's self-censoring itself and that quite frankly works against it. It's a show about women! By that fact alone and as an ecchi it has all the rights to enforce some jiggle action to go with the cleavage and skimpy outfits it presents to the secondary and main females and especially Natsuru, who gets the flashiest of outfits.

Needed to be way more raunchier, enough raunch that you could smell it. But it wasn't enough, not nearly enough and I doubt that could save it.

Animation: Bitches be glistening, but needed more fanservice. Still looked pretty good, some good fights animated, character designs weren't overly busty but all had some bust, the fanservice there was still good and shitloads of yuri moments. Fucking loads of it from the 99.9% girl cast so you know it has to look somewhat presentable. And the animals, those were creepy. And disturbing. And Pres looked damn fine.

Sound: I actually didn't hear the OP or EP and the music was somewhat bad as some was cannibalized of old-time orchaestra themes or overused to make it repetitive. The voice I don't have much of a problem with, but still lacking a bit.

Characters: Time to ramp up that rage-fueled swear count. First off is Natsuru, who is the biggest fucking fucksack tool of the entire fucking ass series. This guy, he is FUCKING DENSE. Rocks are less dense than him. This guy doesn't give a flying fuck about any of the bitches that flock to him or who want to get all up in him. Here, bitches just refer to women, and by bitches I mean, once again and this is important, every damn girl in the student body. Everybody. Why? Because she's beautiful! Lust is key to their attraction to him, and he acts as a total wuss by not getting some. He could be the next Caligula or have Pres as his gal but he doesn't. He lusts for this dumb ass broad names Sakura who only wants his womanly bod.

I think I somehow got detoured but his complete wussy nature is damn annoying. Scumbag thinking or not, that is some mad tail up for grabs and he could have his choice of the flock, first and foremost Pres. Shizuka, or something close but Pres, who is the delightful trolling student council character who takes joy in making the main character squirm in his panties. She's loads of fun and the saving grace, the perfect foil to his pussy nature. But one character doesn't make up for a series and she unfortunately cannot save it.

Before I forget, most characters can't differentiate Girly Guy Natsumu and Hot Girl Natsumu, despite the same hair, eyes, name (First and last) and inability to appear at the same time. But this is due to the Girly Guy Natsumu being a total tool and pussy who nobody gives two shits about and is pretty invisible to most others. Just waxed some logic, and this is pretty accurate. Somewhat.

Overall: I can enjoy an ecchi anime now and then, but if you're just jumping to the "Overall" part, this isn't one of them. The fanservice wasn't up to snuff, the plot was terrible and sometimes set aside for fanservice, the twists were god awful, explanations were bad and while it started off well enough, the last few episodes were enough to wipe that slate clean and send it straight down.

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User Review Scores

  • Story 2/10
  • Animation 6/10
  • Sound 3/10
  • Characters 2/10
  • Overall 2/10

comments

LimeCultivist avatar LimeCultivist
Mar 29, 2014

Great review!

TheTempest avatar TheTempest
Aug 16, 2013

Loved the review! And what i've liked the most was your understanding on Shizuku, the prez, basically the only good thing in the entire show (aside from the boobs).

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