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Thrawn

  • Canada, eh
  • Joined Dec 27, 2009
  • 22 / M

MD Geist

Jun 1, 2013

For your benefit, MD stands for Manly Dangerous.

Story: I'll be honest, I have no clue what the plot is. I skipped the intro with all the words that explained shit and skipped some of the more non-explody bits at the start that had either plot or worldbuilding. They weren't important, despite them being essential to understanding what was going on intellectually and even then probably unhelpful. If you think with your nuts and chest hair, you'll realize that it's about a guy named Geist, a member of MDS -which stands for Motherfucking Dominating Shitkicker- and he goes around killing the fuck out of everybody while shit explodes.

That's it. That's what it's about. Nothing deep, no heroism, no fancy plot that's about whatever good shit's about. It's about one man generally murdering anybody who gets in his path and ends up getting into a fuckballs manly as fuck badass fight with a mecha who looks like a total pussy compared to Geist, even if it has a totally bitching axe. This, is about sheer manliness. Enough manliness to give you another set of balls, extra hair, muscles and an urge to wrestle some bears in a no holds barred cage match.

It's so manly that it doesn't need the woman! But it throws it in anyway because a movie of all sausage and manly action with no females would have caused a manplosion that would eliminate all life within a 50 km radius. And the sole female in it, completely worthless and annoying. That's how the motorcycle rolls.

One last thing: He face stabs a guy. And he explodes.

Animation: 80s again, the ghetto age of anime with pointless boob shots and people exploding into blood and guts. Violence was bountiful and gory and things looked pretty manly. And it's bad and hasn't aged that well but it works. It goes knife in face with the badass music, the sheer fucking nut punching action and manliness of everything, the terrible dub and if it were any better, chances are it wouldn't be as enjoyable or as uncensored.

Sound: The music kicked so much ass that my brain grew hair. It worked so well with all the action and feats of badassery that the OST is banned in multiple countries for impregnating women who get near it. Riproaring guitars, the best vocals that rival Ultra Brain's OP for Musashi Gundoh and I don't know if it's a trumpet or a sax or an explosion of awesomeness and instruments but it's so. Fucking. Amazing. So fucking amazing man.

The voices, on the other hand, are the average 80s dub. Absolute shit. Most of the characters phone it in with bad timing, lackluster emotion and with the exception of Geist, whose VA must have had titanic balls of steel to do him justice, are as a whole, bad. But comically bad at times, which is part of the cheesy charm. Even more crappy compared to the balls awesome music.

Characters: Geist. He's so manly he gets the women but throws her away. So manly that he face stabs fuckers while they sit in their mechs. So fucking manly that everybody else in the entire film combined wouldn't even compare. Geist is everything about the film, and everybody else is a set of balls waiting to be kicked. He's the only character worth talking about and the only one of any importance. He is all, and the hero you will be cheering for while he murders the world.

Overall: By the end, you'll have to walk bowlegged because your balls grew that much. You'll have to shave with a lawnmower and face punch bears everytime you get up. It's so ridiculously manly that it nearly makes up for every fault it has, from plot to characters, depth and logic, sense and morals. It's so bad it's good and it kicked so much fucking ass.

The movie in a nutshell. It'll put hair on your chest.

2/10 story
4/10 animation
6/10 sound
2/10 characters
5/10 overall

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