Thrawn's avatar


  • Canada, eh
  • Joined Dec 27, 2009
  • 25 / M

Apocalypse Zero

May 14, 2013

Warning: This review will contain spoilers of some of the complete mind fuckery that goes on in this shit. Mental scarring should be accompanied by screams of agony and pain as the images assault your feeble mind. The screenshots on the site are censored for your viewing displeasure. You have been warned.

Story: Mental scarring in a bit, the plot is really quite simple: This guy, badass on his own with his pimp uniform, gets this totally kickass armour that allows him to kick even more ass: The Zero armour, because things and people called Zero are so righteously badass. So this badass probably swears to fight for justice and shit, to use his powers to kick righteous ass in the name of good and all it stands for.

So we get to the world-building, where he protects and fights shit in a post-apocalyptic world. How did it get this way? How did humanity so righteously fuck up? Do you even give two shits of a giant ass cockroach as to why? Fuck no! Hell, they still have school! But this ain't no ordinary school, it's a school where Tokyo got jacked up most heinously and everything is ruined and shit. Logic got thrown out the window at a 6 breasted mutant bear... thing, and that was the first five minutes or so.

Where was I? Man, I don't know. Kaguko or something, he fights shit. Freaky shit. Freaky ass fucking mind-scarring shit that has abso-fucking-lutely no fucking ass reason to exist. I mean, the bear was fucked up, but that's just the tip of a ludicrously fucked in the head mind trip of complete balls out mindfuckery.

Ok, ok, seriously, fuck plot. You're here because:

A) It's shit.

B) It's badass shit.

3) To see the Big Titty Bomber.

IV) All the mind-scarring gore-filled imagery made by some of the most sadistic and twisted minds humanity has to offer in media.

You never feel that he's in danger because he's so righteously badass and I can't use that term enough. Aside from him, the Zero Armour? Powered by dead souls. Now that's fucking awesome.

Animation: I really don't know what to score here. On one hand, you have an old man with a bandaged dick, balls hanging out who spits lethal loogies and later morphs into something out of your nightmares. On the other hand, you have a girl getting her guts squeezed out. Literally. She fucking pukes up her intestines and blood onto this poor bastard. Who the fuck decides to animate that shit? And do you even know how much blood was spilled?! How much fucking gore was on the screen?! DO YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW MUCH OF THE TIME WAS FUCKING DEVOTED TO FUCKING MIND SCARRING IMAGERY.

Sorry. But the imagery not only makes no sense but no one should have to see a old guy's wrinkly nutsack hanging loose or any other imagery involving someone's junk doing impossible things. The more I think about it, the more I decrease the animation score. Aside from some nice backgrounds and some off-putting character models, ugly ass students, teachers, mostly everybody, it's glaring obvious at times that the backgrounds are separate from the crap that happens in the foreground, as if the animators stopped giving a shit about the non-horrifying imagery.

The animation is generally shit but high marks for the mind-rape factor and creativity, and fanservice. Hot nurse and Demonic Chick, and like everything else, it gets weird.

Sound: 6? But... why? And I can answer that coherently with as little swearing as possible.

I divided Sound here into two: half for voices, half for the fuckballs awesome music. Usually I hardly give a shit about sound for shitty anime but here, it's different. The music is full of kickass tunes, ranging from boner inducing badass riffs, some truly kickass battle music that sets the theme of your eyes being soiled and the ending theme, holy fucking shit that was so fucking amazing. I should have given sound a 10 based on that awesome theme right there but... there's the VA.

VA I'll divide it into two: One side has the Narrator, who was awesome as fuck and the father, his name isn't important. The other side has everybody else, who ranged from OK to complete and utter shit. It's really quite amazing in how diverse the quality of the VA is, and I of course mean the English dub. Nobody watches subs unless it's the only stuff available for crappy anime.

Sound effects? Shit happened. Guess I should factor that in too.

Characters: Narrator was fucking awesome. He may not be a character persay, but he was fucking awesome at his job of narrating.

Kakugo was fucking badass. Guy's cool as a cucumber most of the time and does some real badass shit. Most of his screen time is devoted to being cool and aloof or being so fucking badass that it's like the world couldn't handle the sheer badassitude of him or his badass Zero armor. Shit, I ought to rate this on badassery and have him run with the score but there's... other stuff to judge.

OK, look, this isn't high on characters. Most villains do things for shits and giggles and kill for kicks. I think Demonic Chick's ultimate goal was to fuck humanity over and while her backstory and Kakugo's were reasonable, she made whatever she wore look good while kicking demonic ass. And she did... questionable things. Very questionable things. I don't say that lightly as I generally approve of actions of hot demon chicks but one of the things she did I can never approve of. I can't say as I'd be instantly compelled to spoil a large part of a big battle, if you know what I mean, but you'll know it when you see it if you decide to watch this shit.

Hold on, there's Hot Nurse! Now that was some good times! Flirtatous to a fault, her motives for flirting the bones off men? Fuck that, she does it for shits and giggles. And it's good, until it's righteously subverted. And I mean subverted in a most disturbing way, as per the norm for everything else in this shit.

It's almost like I threw in a number for Characters.

Overall: Shit was fucking awesome. It was terrible and had sheer amounts of badassery. It was cool and horrendous, it was senseless, wasted potentional and completely unadulterated mindfuck images on a parade through your now soiled eyeballs. The fights are fast and brutal, a healthy dosage of mammaries and an unhealthy dosage of what came with them, high on action and heroes being badass ass kicking machines and damn it all if I didn't have fun while it had it's way with my mind. This is one terrible anime you have to watch!

3/10 story
5.5/10 animation
6/10 sound
5/10 characters
5/10 overall
0 this review is Funny Helpful

You must be logged in to leave comments. Login or sign up today!

There are no comments - leave one to be the first!