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Hellsing Ultimate

Jan 17, 2013

The Story

Hellsing… You will not be watching it for the plot. The story follows Alucard, a ridiculously over-powered vampire on a crusade against Nazi vampires and Catholic sociopaths. Sounds ridiculous? And it is, the story is horrible.  While the first few episodes were mildly coherent and okay in terms of why Alucard goes where he goes and what he does, after episode five it rapidly goes downhill. Plot twists will be revealed without any premise or reason *cough* Walter *cough* and will serve only one reason – giving Alucard people, vampires, ghouls or Catholic soldiers that look like the KKK to massacre. But like I’ve said – you will not be watching it for the plot. It is like porn, you just want a premise and a lot of action. I may have sounded a bit too negative, but I really enjoyed every episode except the last two. The last two episodes were just too much for me to bare, the final plot twist just makes everything feel pointless and stupid.

The Animation

This is the reason for watching. The animation looks amazing; after all they took their time. Everything from the character design and fights to the backgrounds and general style of the show (fucking zeppelins people). Simply watching Alucard ripping stuff to shreds using huge guns, hands or his teeth is a sadistic orgasm. The same goes for Anderson, a crazy priest who is probably the best thing Hellsing has to offer. As you might have concluded Hellsing has literally gallons of blood, it can only be challenged by Genocyber or Elfen Lied, at least in that department.

The Sound  

Every once in a while a dub will be better than the sub. And Hellsing does have a better dub, thanks to Crispin Freeman, who did the voice over for Alucard. I highly recommend waiting for every episode to get dubbed. As for the music, it was great. It doesn’t have an opening but it has great musical background that mostly consists of classical pieces.

The Characters

Spoilers ahead

Just like the story, not much attention is paid to… well, being good. Every character is here to be cool and awesome but they aren’t given any development, and if they are it’s shit. Why did the Nazi vampires assault London? To kill Alucard, because it makes so much sense. Why did the Catholic Church kill civilians? Because they can. Why did Alucard become a vampire? Because he was raped.  Why did Walter change sides? No fucking reason. I could go on but it would take too much of your time to cover all the plot holes and character inconsistencies.

The Conclusion  

Does Hellsing have any of the usual requirements to be called a good show, such as plot and characters? Fuck no. Does it have tits and huge men killing each other? Fuck yes. In that department it is a pure winner. This is a show that I actually recommend, it was fun and violent, over the top with stunning animation and badass characters. If you are craving for blood and violence this is a show that you should watch immediately.

3.4/10 story
9.5/10 animation
8.3/10 sound
6/10 characters
5.5/10 overall
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Th3Laugh1ngMan Apr 18, 2014

Your review is definitely spot on.

scblakdrgon Feb 23, 2013

Yes, that's pretty much the reason we watch it. And the dub is good, Crispin Freedman especially. I'm glad I decide to try watching the dub instead of the usual sub version.