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OnLittleFeet

  • Under the Gravel Skies
  • Joined Dec 14, 2007
  • 36 / F

Do you like vampires?

Do you like werewolves?

Do you like the Hellsing animation and manga?

Do you like the Dracula legend?

Do you like Twilight?

Do you like Hellsing, the horrific movie featuring Hugh Jackman (Wolverine)?

Do you like authors completely ignoring the fact vampires are dead creatures, and thus, cannot create life because...you know, men. Needing blood. And not as food. To do that thing that happens when life--happens. (Being polite after all, and PG-13ish.)?

Now: Do you like it when they throw all of that junk in one fantastic trunk?

Then look no further and do not read this review past this line: Dance in the Vampire Bund is the anime for you! You will love it!

*****

Now if the rest of you are shaking your heads and leaning far, far away from your keyboards to give the above list of things a long, hard, sideways glare? Than you're probably like me and frowning very much. Very highly. Extremely disapproving of what I have said already and I haven't even gotten to the review of the animation yet.

What can I say about Dance in the Vampire Bund that accurately describes my distaste for this anime?

Take ten of your favorite drinks. Place them firmly in your mind. Now, take small bits of your favorite drink and combine it into one cup. That's right--all of your favorite drinks, a little bit of everything in one giant mug of frothy, questionable doom.

There's a slim, teeny, tiny, minute 1% chance that, as you raise your glass filled with ten of your most favorite drinks that what you are about to drink will not, in fact kill you, but come out delicious!

And then there's a huge 99% chance what you are about to drink will be so horrific your life will turn into a horribly cliched series you have subjected yourself to in the past: your hair will bleach white, your mind will snap, you'll kill your whole family, spend the rest of your time atoning for your sin and have this god-awful taste in your mouth forever. The whole time. For. The. Rest. Of. Your. Life.

Dance in the Vampire Bund's horrible after taste is in my mouth, forever. I cannot ever get it out.

Story

In three episodes they have managed to cram all of my secret-fan-girl favorite things (Werewolves, vampires, the Dracula legend pretty much. Twilight and Helsing can go perish in a horrible pants fire.)  as well as what should have been a convoluted, interesting, well thought out twist on some old ideas so fast and so sloppily I am left headdesking. The proverbial gym bag of story telling is shoved so full of crap the first three twenty minute episodes its like a horrible B movie that you can make into a great drinking game and come out plastered by the end. (Take a shot every time someone says 'Vampire'. I dare you.)

They have bungled a story that already has such a wonderful, rich setting for them to play with. How do you do that? I don't know. Wait! I do know! You make it into an anime and you call it Dance in the Vampire Bund.

Also there are several factors dealing with the main character--which because I love you and don't want to spoil it any further for you, I will refrain from mentioning--that are just so unbelievably ridiculous I am football punted out of the zone of suspension of disbelief right into the bleachers of wtf! Did they just do what I thought they just did?!

There are far too many uncomfortable moments, for me as well, featuring a girl that looks no more than 11, with a young man that is probably nearing 18-19. Seriously, the overtones creeped me the heck out.

To return focus to the story line in general: It's too much, too quick, too fast. If I were a fourteen year old hyped up on twenty red bulls and seventy four pixie-sticks, I might be more excited about this. Or, you know, if I were a major creepy pedo-bear. Anyhooooooo--

Animation

This I can say, I enjoyed. I liked the style of it. It's somewhat simplistic, but bold, the lines are crisp and clean--the backgrounds and settings are well painted/animated that I believe in them.

Sound

I don't dislike them, but neither the opening or closing or music chosen within the episodes are memorable enough for me to even ...remember anything about them to write a review on. I suppose that's a plus!

Characters

So much potential to have an interesting, original twist using some hackneyed, often over used setting.

Did they use it?

Newp.

All of the characters end up being cookie-cutter, placed in cookie-cutter situations.

Overall

I wouldn't waste your time with this.

Unless you like this sort of thing, I guess, and then--never mind.

2/10 story
8/10 animation
8/10 sound
4/10 characters
1/10 overall

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coffeebreath says...

Bund is one of those anime that seriously sucked beyond comprehension but seems to have a legion of fans. You did right to drop it although I think if you had finished the anime you'd have more to back up a lot of your points. I'm not keen on ever giving an anime 1/10 but when I try to think of any reedemable factors for Bund I draw a blank.

Mar 10, 2011
MOJ says...

I loved this review of yours. Now i will have to watch the series and see for myself why you hated it so much. Again this review is the best troll/rant i have ever read *hats off*

(no sarcasm, i really mean it)

Mar 6, 2011
Symmetrical says...

My main point was to say that you can not make an assumption based on 3 episodes. The first 3 episodes did not explain the whole show. If you have watched more than maybe you would of saw the story line and characters to be slighty better or even more. Im not trying to argue at all like its some of debate. By the way you did say about me acting like a 10th grader. I am a 10th grader so ehhhh that has little effect. Im honestly not trying to bash on you. I dont personally know you. Im not going to write a whole story rebutting my little paragraph like you did. In all things, 3 episodes dont tell the story. If you want to review or bash on it, live through the whole series. Then write about it. You dont need to write back to me, if you dont like it then thats totally fine with me. It doesnt affect how i feel about it. But atleast watch the whole thing so you can have much more examples in explaining how it may not be for some people.

Dec 22, 2010
OnLittleFeet says...

@Symmetrical

Thanks for your commentary on my review on Dance of the Vampire Bund. Here's a few points to keep in mind as to why ---->I<----- did not like the series and why I disagree, and at times, are a bit surprised and worried that anyone would enjoy this show:

*I'm a vampire fan. I'm aware that she is supposedly 239289392832 hundreds of years old. That doesn't detract from the fact they chose to make the main love character a twelve-year old looking little girl and within the first three episodes have her naked and being rubbed down by her much older male love interest. So your comment about this not being a 'pedo' anime already has some shakey ground. The scene is obviously gratuitous loli faire and quite frankly, is enough to disgust most people. That was strike one.

*There is no original content. They have lazily taken everything from Van Hellsing, Dracula, Alucard, Underworld and several other notable movies and stories and rolled them all in one. You'll note that while none of the above mentioned series are all stellar, they at least tried their best to supply a semi-unique story or angle on the old myths and legends to keep us entertained. Right from the get-go with Vampire Bund it doesn't even try. It's like the fat kid too lazy to get up to get the remote because it knows Mom (rabid fans) will do the work for it, continuing to eat up over hackneyed anime cliches with story lines stolen from everywhere else because people buy this stuff and thus, the vicious, horrible cycle begins again.

*You commented about how I rated the story a 2/10, the characters a 4/10 and overall a 1/10, while I gave the animation and the sound and 8/10. ......Can I not look at the animation and admit it was good? The animation/drawing style was fantastic. The sound too. The fact that the story was horrendous and pandering to a very young crowd and that the characters were awful warranted my score in other places. If being dazzled by shiny-good-pretty-drawn characters and fantastic sound were enough to keep me watching a series, I'd be worried. Personally, I need more meat and more story to it. An over all effort you could say, and thus, why I rated it like I did.

*Within the first three episodes we have a useless filler of a useless television show that mocks what the very series is about, we have an obvious child-bodied heroine with adult tendancies used to explain away why an older man is trying to fondle her--as if that is remotely okay in any universe?--we have a were wolf, we have a love interest, we have half the backstory crammed down our throats as quickly as possible. We have a several hundreds year old girl vampire child who trips and falls like a school girl in front of the love interest??? And we see her one moment kicking butt and taking names, but the next moment frail and helpless the moment the male lead comes along......What? What--seriously? You want me to continue watching this? Is this some sort of torture that's somehow acceptable that I don't know about? Really?

*People seem to forget that this is a PERSONAL REVIEW NOT SANCTIONED BY THE SITE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM and thus I don't have to be objective and I don't have to say nice things about something that I obviously feel is sub-par. You are free to discuss with me why you think the series is good but please...Don't show up randomly and say "I agree with this person who's busy insulting the reviewer like we're in grade 10 again," and tell ME I need to "get a grip dude,".

Be clear. Be concise. Lay out some facts as to why you think I should give this series a chance. Point out examples. Give me proof--otherwise comments like these don't further anything. They aren't even a worthy discussion, are they? How are you convincing me to give this anime a chance? How will you change my mind with this? It doesn't seem very effective to me. Also probably because a) I am not a dude, and b) reviews are about the anime. NOT THE PEOPLE WHO WRITE THE REVIEWS.

Attack the review. Not the writer.

Thanks for the comment, I look forward to your rebuttal and/or further discussion.

Dec 22, 2010
Symmetrical says...

@Galcifer. You saved me the time of writing the same thing i was going to say.

The anime is more pointed to Romance. I honestly found Vampire bund to be one of animes i enjoyed most, and im about to begin to read the manga. Its not a pedo show also. Just because shes a little smaller doesnt mean you needa call the police. Shes older than him, if you WATCHED the whole series. 3 episodes isnt enough to review on. and expecially the overall of 1/10 when you rated 2/10 8/10 8/10 4/10

Get a Grip dude

Dec 21, 2010