Do you like vampires?
Do you like werewolves?
Do you like the Hellsing animation and manga?
Do you like the Dracula legend?
Do you like Twilight?
Do you like Hellsing, the horrific movie featuring Hugh Jackman (Wolverine)?
Do you like authors completely ignoring the fact vampires are dead creatures, and thus, cannot create life because...you know, men. Needing blood. And not as food. To do that thing that happens when life--happens. (Being polite after all, and PG-13ish.)?
Now: Do you like it when they throw all of that junk in one fantastic trunk?
Then look no further and do not read this review past this line: Dance in the Vampire Bund is the anime for you! You will love it!
Now if the rest of you are shaking your heads and leaning far, far away from your keyboards to give the above list of things a long, hard, sideways glare? Than you're probably like me and frowning very much. Very highly. Extremely disapproving of what I have said already and I haven't even gotten to the review of the animation yet.
What can I say about Dance in the Vampire Bund that accurately describes my distaste for this anime?
Take ten of your favorite drinks. Place them firmly in your mind. Now, take small bits of your favorite drink and combine it into one cup. That's right--all of your favorite drinks, a little bit of everything in one giant mug of frothy, questionable doom.
There's a slim, teeny, tiny, minute 1% chance that, as you raise your glass filled with ten of your most favorite drinks that what you are about to drink will not, in fact kill you, but come out delicious!
And then there's a huge 99% chance what you are about to drink will be so horrific your life will turn into a horribly cliched series you have subjected yourself to in the past: your hair will bleach white, your mind will snap, you'll kill your whole family, spend the rest of your time atoning for your sin and have this god-awful taste in your mouth forever. The whole time. For. The. Rest. Of. Your. Life.
Dance in the Vampire Bund's horrible after taste is in my mouth, forever. I cannot ever get it out.
In three episodes they have managed to cram all of my secret-fan-girl favorite things (Werewolves, vampires, the Dracula legend pretty much. Twilight and Helsing can go perish in a horrible pants fire.) as well as what should have been a convoluted, interesting, well thought out twist on some old ideas so fast and so sloppily I am left headdesking. The proverbial gym bag of story telling is shoved so full of crap the first three twenty minute episodes its like a horrible B movie that you can make into a great drinking game and come out plastered by the end. (Take a shot every time someone says 'Vampire'. I dare you.)
They have bungled a story that already has such a wonderful, rich setting for them to play with. How do you do that? I don't know. Wait! I do know! You make it into an anime and you call it Dance in the Vampire Bund.
Also there are several factors dealing with the main character--which because I love you and don't want to spoil it any further for you, I will refrain from mentioning--that are just so unbelievably ridiculous I am football punted out of the zone of suspension of disbelief right into the bleachers of wtf! Did they just do what I thought they just did?!
There are far too many uncomfortable moments, for me as well, featuring a girl that looks no more than 11, with a young man that is probably nearing 18-19. Seriously, the overtones creeped me the heck out.
To return focus to the story line in general: It's too much, too quick, too fast. If I were a fourteen year old hyped up on twenty red bulls and seventy four pixie-sticks, I might be more excited about this. Or, you know, if I were a major creepy pedo-bear. Anyhooooooo--
This I can say, I enjoyed. I liked the style of it. It's somewhat simplistic, but bold, the lines are crisp and clean--the backgrounds and settings are well painted/animated that I believe in them.
I don't dislike them, but neither the opening or closing or music chosen within the episodes are memorable enough for me to even ...remember anything about them to write a review on. I suppose that's a plus!
So much potential to have an interesting, original twist using some hackneyed, often over used setting.
Did they use it?
All of the characters end up being cookie-cutter, placed in cookie-cutter situations.
I wouldn't waste your time with this.
Unless you like this sort of thing, I guess, and then--never mind.