For those of you who do not know, I have two beautiful dogs...well, one beautiful dog and one dog who looks like she got into a fight with a weedeater. This is not her fault. She has a skin condition, one which is very dibilitating (to my wallet) in that it has cost me over $500 in treatments so far. Alyce has to have a special bath once a week with Some Sort of Shampoo (tm) which costs $25 a bottle and then she has to be sponged all over with Medicine That Smells Like Paint Thinner (tm) which costs $60 for two doses. On the upside, Alyce is very smart and Zoe...well, Zoe is "special". Like, run-across-the-kitchen-floor-chasing-a-ball-and-run-into-the-refrigerator-special.
With that said, my dogs are very different from one another in many ways but tonight I made a marked discovery in their differences when it comes to bath time. Thankfully, I have one of those shower massagers which makes bath time for the dogs quick and easy (well, quick anyways). The bathroom is at the end of a short hallway off the kitchen. Alyce goes first because you aren't allowed to dry off the Medicine That Smells Like Paint Thinner (tm), it has to air dry. So, I try to get her in and out quickly before it gets too chilly in the house. Alyce has to be tricked just to come to the door leading from the kitchen to the hallway. I stand in front of the refrigerator and put my hand on the handle. Alyce thinks I'm getting something from the refrigerator that she will later be able to steal while I'm not looking and she comes right to me. I then take her by the collar. When that happens, she realizes she's been tricked and immediately pulls her head out of the collar and goes and hides under the coffee table. So, I wrestle her into the bathtub where she stands, shivering like a prisoner in the...well, the shower, I guess. I close the bathroom door because Zoe will try to get in the tub, too and there just isn't room in the tub or in my tiny reserve of patience for that. I bathe Alyce as best I can because she skitters around the bathtub, trying her best to get into the corner of the tub or actually out of the tub. Sometimes, she gets distracted by licking the soap on the side of the tub but that only lasts for a few seconds. Once we're finished, I put Alyce in her crate.
Next is Zoe who has been sitting outside the bathroom door barking and whining because she is missing out on the best thing since tummy rubs. I open the door and Zoe promptly jumps into the tub and sits down, looking up at me as if to say, "Bathe me, Peasant." And so, I do. She sits there, still as a statue with her nose straight up in the air and her eyes half closed. She really looks like she's in her element: Queen Zoe. All that's missing is having a dish of something to feed her while she is being pampered. Once she's all rinsed off she decides she should reward me for my good work by jumping on me. Yay.
So, I sit here in my wet scrubs contemplating the differences between my dogs at bath time. My feet are cold. My hands are pruning. Alyce is whimpering pitifully from her crate. And Zoe, well...Zoe is laying sphinx-like in front of the heater, the ruler over all she sees. For now.