LoliTsundere's avatar


  • Austria
  • Joined May 8, 2011
  • ? / M

"You don't become an otaku by trying…you just wake up one day, and realize you are one."

Who I am

I'm 26, male, student and into Anime since summer 2011

First Anime

Dragonball, One Piece and Naruto on TV first, then Elfen LiedVampire Hunter D Bloodlust and various Ghibli movies. Since then I'm pretty much hooked.

What I watch

I can enjoy pretty much everything except shonen-ai. I try to keep up with the new interesting shows, movies and OVAs. Simultaniously I go back chronologicaly on the anime timeline watching the good stuff I missed year-wise. Nowadays I don't watch nearly as much as before, back then I often hit 36 episodes a day. Today I try to be really selective and filter out the quality entertainment.

Favourite Animation Studios

SHAFT, P.A. Works, ufotable, Kyotoanimation, Madhouse, Gainax (Trigger)

Favourite Anime

Check my 4.5 and 5 star ratings.

Favourite Manga

I don't enjoy scans as much as having a book in my hands, so I have a huge physical manga collection (almost over 1k)

BerserkBlade of the Immortal, Hunter X Hunter, GTO, Lone Wolf & Cub, work of Osamu Tezuka

Other things I like

I also like ero doujinshi, recently I started to collect anime figures (but I don't have much money for this atm), occasionally eroge and western pc games.

My first Gunpla


Some useful links

Blog looking back on 50 years of anime (very recommended)

Berserk Forum

Video-Blog on Japanese (Otaku) Culture:

Life on anime

  • 24 Minutes
  • 2 Hours
  • 3 Days
  • 1 Weeks
  • 10 Months
  • 0 Years

Anime ratings

  • 5
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1,595 total

Manga ratings

  • 5
  • 4.5
  • 4
  • 3.5
  • 3
  • 2.5
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65 total

I adore these characters

See all loved characters


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krukky says...

oh, no, no, don’t feel bad about such a thing now :) and besides, how can anything be “pathetically little” if it is there, it’s present :) i’m sorry i pushed you, but i guess i just missed you, and that’s all :))

so, no worries about all the things i’d said. you don’t really need to respond to it, if it’s not the appropriate time anyways (i mean not that i wouldn’t like to have your reply, as that certainly is one of the major points in our conversing anyways, but still - it’s not merely that :)) i’m glad we got in touch, that’s it :)

oh yeah, and now i get it what this whole missing comment “mystery’ was all about :)) it’s totally fine though, i don’t mind i got the message ‘cause it made me happy anyways :))

oh, and about that “wall of text” - it tends to be like the berlin wall :)) → needs to be deconstructed :)) so sorry that you’re involved in that process of hammering down those old worn-out bricks:) i sure hope you get to benefit from that process in some way, for the better:)

hmm, never heard of “gunslinger girls”. but i’ll hear the song out, thanks :))

ahaha we got a lot of rain here as well this summer (mostly storms, and floods, to be precise), but nevertheless it was atsui, and besides i just like swimming and my body tends to respond well to being active in water, and being exposed to a bit of sunshine from time to time (although none of those clearly happened this summer once again haha it’s been like that for years now but oh well, what can you do :)) i got to do so many other cool things, without ever leaving the apartment, so i’m grateful for it :)) don’t enjoy being in water, though? swimming, ro else going to a hotspring? :) i love hotsprings outdoor pools when snowing - it’s a lovely experience to just float in that hot steamy water, and feel the chilly snowflakes on your back/belly (depending on your position) :)) and all of that is nice for the body itself (i.e. for the health, for your overall well-being), so that’s mainly why i was into it in the first place as well :) but yeah, no luck this year :) i didn’t even get a bathing suit or some form of substitute for it, but so what - another time :))

ohh, you have brothers? :) that’s cool to hear. how many of them are there? and are they younger or older than you? (sorry for being nosy, i hope you’re not bothered by such questions. feel free not to answer, if that is the case anyway ;))

it may sound a bit weird, but i just love brothers :)) and haha, now that’s very funny, i was getting into reading interpretations of european fairy tales that include brothers (usually 5 or 7 or 9), turning into birds (swans, ravens, ducks, etc). fairy tales are a general subject of interest to me (as are brothers themselves haha. okay, sorry, i’m going to be more serious about it from here onward :)), and this specific aspect (in this specific site i came across) was very satisfying for my curiosity, so i’m really pleased :) brothers are cool. and the male relationships are very fascinating to me as well, in general - both in anime, martial arts, real life, etc. so yeah, that’s why i’m being so curious, i suppose, if i had to think about it. :))

haha, ohh, can’t imagine your cat being called tsundere, really :)) it’s not very melodic at all :D i was just thinking about that today, and it came to me i never told you different types of callings that could derive from certain names here: like we tend to call a maria mimi, and mimi is a pretty nice name for a pet in general. but it can be modified, so that it can become: miti (mitty), mikki, miffy, and so on. at least that’s what i called our home’s cat today, but i call him all sorts of different names, and he’s really okay with that - if you go for the same thing with your own cat, it might be satisfied as well :3 (i have at least 30 different callings for our cat here, and i sometimes feel like calling him even different than those things, just because it feels right, and he doesn’t get frustrated or anything - not more than me being my usual self anyways, so i guess it’s fine :)) and names are more for the owners than for the pets themselves anyways, so yeah ;))

ahahaha ohh, that’s so funny. chiko is quite nice (chico means boy in spanish :)). yep, chiko seems like a nice house cat to me :3 but odhin is really majestic lol, i kinda like it. thor though… is out of the question for me hahaah :D if i had to choose :)) i’m more into funny names, i remember finding it very pleasant and utterly funny that some people tend to name their pets here “pesho”, which is a calling to someone who’s called “petar” (peter). but generally “pesho” would mean “hey, peter” and is so very human (or was, at least, back then) to me that i found it very amusing hearing a pet being called that :DD it’s so much fun.

other than that i’m not sure i’m the right person for those sturdy russian names :) i could think of aleksei, or oleg, or ivan, or vania, or evgeni right now, but they’re just too distant and cold to me somehow, so i’m not genuinely interested in those, especially for a fluffy kitty :) but could make a nice name nevertheless - chechov, or onegin, let’s say :)) in bulgarian we have lotsa cool male names. now i was reminded of ognyan which comes from “ogan” (fire). we have all sorts of fire-related names :) it’s funny, and cool :) but you have your pet’s name now anyways, so i guess it’s pointless delving into those details :)

hmm. so what was making him meow all the time? was he feeling uncomfortable in some way? there must be a reason… he may be sick, or hungry, or who knows, really… *continues reading* ohh, i see - he got on his way :) well, what can you do :) it’s for the better, hopefully :) as they come, they also go, you know, so yeah, it’s all good i guess :)

our cat isn’t feeling good here either so i was sort of searching for a new place for him to stay a few weeks ago, but then it appears he doesn’t mind sticking with me, as long as i get my life on track and i get him out of here as well as myself :)) haha may sound a bit crazy, but that’s how i feel about his attitude, and my plan is to actually steal him into my own apartment/room when i get to organize my business (hopefully), and move out separately once more. but this time i’m stealing the cat along, cause he feels depressed here all the time… so yeah. oh, and that’s another thing i feel like he’s up for, for a long time now: going for a walk in a natural and peaceful place.

(about disney, pixar, western animation) right, i see. well, it’s interesting to me because of many things and because of people i’d discussed anime (or other stuff in general) with. for me personally other animations aren’t as good as anime, because of all that anime is - content, graphics, cultural traits, the japanese language + voice acting, and those little detail of ways of thinking, etc. (which is actually a reflection of culture itself). i think early disney is fine, very good really, but it’s something too familiar to me now, so i’m generally not interested in it at this point - not merely visually, but in themes and ways of expression and so on. i simply enjoy the japanese-style animations and that’s that, i guess :)

now, about western animation: before getting into anime i was much, much into movies, i was literally a cinemaniac… it’s a disease haha no, honestly i watched too many movies. and going to all sorts of movie festivals here, i got to watch lots of animations, especially shorts. and it was really sad, because they all were rather dark, you know. very dramatic always, and quite a bit depressing. those animations from my childhood (which was actually anime, as i came to understand later - grimm’s fairy tales classics) were what i really enjoyed, and those stuff i’d see on festivals was depressing, and dark, and always very symbolic in visual representation, but with a dark and heavy symbolism. more like a nightmare than anything else… haha okay, sorry.

so that’s my general memory of western-style animation. but then i recently got introduced to pettson and findus - some scandinavian animation, which seemed really nice (though i didn’t quite get what it was about since it had no subtitles to it). i kinda enjoyed that, and to me the scandinavian people are most genuinely intriguing, from all those european peoples, probebly. they, in their own way, bear many similarities to what i’d call “japanese traditional outlook” (that of minimalism, let’s say - in architecture, cuisine, or whatever). so yeah, that was a nice animation, in my opinion :)) (haha, speaking about cats - that are pettson and findus for you :)))

“I was growing tired of the stories elements western comic used, which seemed pretty repetitive.”

yep, i see your point here. i’ve obviously never been into western comics, other than the ninja turtles back in the 90’s i guess haha, or mickey mouse and a thing called witch, but i’ve only acquired a general idea about them, as i'd never followed striclty any of them, but just got superficially acquainted with them along the way (apart from witch that my best friend got me into, and it was much anime-like visually, like shoujo aniem a bit, so it was pleasant for the eye, and girly which i found amuzing back then, and still do (partly) as well :)). and i’ve had my share of other types of western culture (mainly in the form of movies, music and art, but also literature of course), so i know it can get too repetitive in the end, and in a repulsive way at that.

i generally really enjoy the animes that are similar in style, or genre, or type of humour, etc. well, can’t still handle imitations too well, though - as, for example i haven’t gotten quite used to (and able to like completely) mekaku city actors, as i see it as a not-so-good imitation of the monogatari series. on the other hand i very much enjoyed the monogatari-style uses in a fairly ridiculous harem comedy, called nisekoi. so it depends on the uses, i enjoy hybridity, but a meaningful one, not mere copies… well, i still haven’t given up on mekaku city actors completely, as i have a few more episodes to see, but i don’t believe i’ll change my mind radically about those certain traits, although the last time i saw an episode i was surprised in a good way and appreciated the show for its own benefits to anime development in general :) haha okay, sorry, you may even not be aware of what i’m talking about (if you’re not familiar with mekaku city actors, monogatari and nisekoi), so i’ll just shut up about it already :P.

“There was also this clique of good vs bad which was tiresome. “

oh yep, a major drawback for me as well. i mean, that’s like the major great thing about anime - that it’s much more “real” in the sense that characters develop, change and are never “black’ or “white”, but have different aspects to their personalities - just like us regular humans do :) so it’s good that way - it’s not merely symbolic, but is closer to us nowadays, to people, to being human in general. that’s very cool.

oh yeah, i see what you mean. and besides, i don’t see a reason why you should turn to comics since there is manga that’s available for the whole world to read. it really doesn’t make sense to me. it’s just good we’ve had the opportunity to experience what manga is, and now we can even make our own versions of it, if we’d like, right? :))

“it's creepy how much influence your upbringing has on your personality.”

:) well, it’s not really strange anyways. i don't know if you’re into “spirituality” or not, but you’d probably heard the notion of “indigo” children. and really, all of us are such and growing up for every child is absorbing all that it has been taught to (i.e. given), so we don’t stand a chance to be much different at first, and only after we grow up do we get the chance to explore other opportunities for ourselves out there… although with having those genes about us and all, one can never really “escape” his own legacy haha (his parents’ legacy, i mean), and he shouldn’t. but there are always ways of betterment, and i’m not trying to point an all-knowing finger at you or anything, but i’m more like saying it for myself as well, since i’m clearly in a similar situation. it’s just that seeing those similarities i bear of my parents, i am now acquiring different perspectives on them (aided by different people), so that i may come to appreciate them and develop them for my own beliefs’ sake, you know - just take advantage of whatever you had been offered, so to speak :)) (oh yeah, and that’s why i’m so wordy, too, as my grandma was a journalist, my mother was into bulgarain language and literature studies (linguistics, in a sense), and teaching, and my father was into nuclear physics, mathematics, and academic stuff a lot… haha it’s funny to talk about that since i’d been running from that legacy for so long, but it is there and what can i do, i’d better make some use of it :))

“I think that it's really hard to control that subconscious processes that make you act just as your parents (correct or wrong) in certain situations.”

well, yeah, it may take some time, and effort, but it is possible to acquire such perspectives over yourself, and a lot of people advocate for that because it helps a lot in a person’s development and growth.

:))) yeah, i see what you mean, but i still think that even though it’s hard, it’s not  impossible, and not even without attempting it at least :)

“it's frustrating when you have insight on how much parents can screw up.“

well, there are a lot of faults to the present-day state of this world, and people, i would say, are “responsible” in a sense, about them. but that’s only the more despotic and depressive viewpoint about that issue. another, more liberating one, is that this whole thing serves a certain purpose. and besides it’s not so important what others are doing, if you yourself tend to do what’s best in your views. yeah, surely it gets frustrating and hard to bear if you don’t receive affirmations (confirmations) you’re on the right track, but the truth is that those come only from within and one must avoid searching for those on the outside. the outside serves a different purpose in life, but our own selves are the most that matters in us living the life we feel good to be living, and doing the things we feel good to be doing. they tend to call that acting from the perspective of “self love”, and a state of acquired “self-worth”. once you have that (after some great deal of work done there, with your subconsciousness, with your “darkness” and "shadows”)... it's all worth it, though, and cool at the end of the day :))

“not everyone takes the chance to improve the process of upbringing, while I certainly do, and want to do it better and I believe that the work that I do is part of taking society to the next level.”

yeah, surely they don’t, but many people just don’t have such an insight on the world (and themselves) in general, that’s why they just tend to go about different things rather than doing anything good for someone else. i mean my mother couldn’t show me much that i needed, and that every person deserves (as care and affection, let’s say), nor did i really have  a father throughout my growing up, but that’s not really the most important thing, even though it got me quite damaged, one would say :) and lacking certain traits as a human being so that i could communicate normally with the outer world, be in relationships, etc. but okay, let’s just get over it already :) those people who produced me aren’t all that good now either, so there’s not much i could expect of them other than giving them opportunities to grow out of their shells by me taking up a path that is similar to their own, but walked with entirely different intentions and beliefs :) haha, i hope that makes some sense.

i would really want for society at large to grow and change, but there are certain limits to what is able to be done at this point with those means that society itself at the moment is providing. so yeah, being in and out of societies at the same time is how i actually see things to be in store for me, and for those people in the near future as well. there is so much work to be done on the “self” still - self love and appreciation, that this is just about the most important thing of them all. and all our little plans and schemes other than that may as well go to waste in a sense, may never be materialized in the perfect form we’ve dreamed about them to take upon :)) but we need to be patient, very much patient nevertheless, and change will gradually come, in time that is :)) so i’d just say to you, keep your head up, keep on at what you’re after, and it’ll be sorted out, especially if it’s something that many other people secretly or not secretly desire themselves, and you get to get in touch with such people and combine your motivations with theirs so that a new mini-society of a sort is produced :))

haha, well, if you wanna know what i think, the first thing that came to mind upon reading the phrase “social worker”, was that recent anime i’d seen about social workers hahah it was really nice, and they were all funny characters :))) (i’ll make sure to tell you once i recall the title of that anime, which now i don’t remember)

so, where was i? aha. (it’s already a new day, i just couldn’t manage replying at first :))

hahahaha ohh, well now, about glasslip. :)) i felt very funny after seeing those next episodes, as this impression i had was based on the opening of the first one. and basically i still think some resemblances to ghibli-style (visually) could be found, but glasslip is nowhere near those in content so far. i haven’t still watched the whole thing, but i saw like 6 episodes, out of the need to view something rather sh*tty :)) and it’s okay in that view, i mean it helped out a lot in that particular situation to satisfy my needs hahaah but yeah, ghibli is not like glasslip on the whole, that was just my optimistic first impression back then ;)) (nevertheless i started enjoying glasslip more those few days, as some things those characters did, seemed to please me: like this, and some other stuff. so basically, i do feel that everywhere good points could be observed, even in those "not-so-good-in-general" productions. but still, i don't even know what that whole show is about, so i can't really say if there's "bread" in it, or not... yet ;))

oh yeah, miyazaki’s insight sure is great :) and his works are rather different than most anime (the anime i call “modern” anime, in my own terms, with ghibli being “classical” anime, a sort of classics, in my view). certainly there’s no new ghibli-type of shows i would know about either. but i’m into different things now as well, so i don’t mind that :)

“Part of the problem is that, in my opinion, there is just too little good original anime works, and if there are original works once in a while I don't sense the spark. I don't sense the dream of the animator... I don't sense the uniqueness... I don't feel the magic. “

give me some examples of things that have made you experience that before, would you? thanks :)

i don’t know, i’m not looking for holistic types of productions any longer. i mean, even with those things i have really very much enjoyed, there always is something that makes them a bit off (like my durarara!! experience - i loved seeing that thing, and i still am very fond of it, but around the end (last few episodes) the story sort of got blurred and saucy in a way, and that made an unpleasant impression on me, as i was enjoying every episode of it to the maximum, honestly - it was an absolute rush of excitement, i love that experience :))

for most of the shows now i simply have a perspective of enjoying it on the spot. if there are traits i do enjoy, i make it a point to use them in my conversations, or just simply think about them and give examples from them to inspire people and stuff like that. i don’t see much point in looking for any masterpieces, because i don’t think we’ve come to the point where a masterpiece can be easily produced in an instant - it will have to take a lot of time, and ideas both from the producers, and from the public, for that to happen, i believe, if ever :)) but honestly, i don’t mind things as they tend to be right now either. (what i see of the current situation looks a bit like "gathering momentum", or experimentation in order to achive a more full-blooded and full-bodied success ;)) i mean i enjoy original works, concepts and ideas that thrill  me, and then sometimes i’m not satisfied with some of their imitations (like the monogatari - mekaku city actors experience i told you about), but in general i enjoy the act of obtaining characters, ideas, plots, techniques and so on from other works, that’s really cool in my opinion, as authors never really create anything on their own in general, but are always inspired by others nevertheless, so why not express that in the whole genre (anime/manga) too?? i truly respect that, to be honest.

i don’t think you’re off-topic at all, so relax ;) that’s how thoughts flow, it’s all good. and besides i understand your point, so i believe that’s proof of it - it’s okay.

“It's funny that there is no fascination to that extent from the German side for Japan [Outside from a recent fascination with otaku culture {anime/manga}] but this is running deeper than pop culture I think”

you know, for many fans (around the world) this fascination that originated from japan’s popular culture, transforms in a most holistic one that embraces “everything japanese”, quite literally at that. i myself am interested in many japanese things, from their waste policies, to their work ethics, culture and so on. it’s endless, and what’s exciting about them specifically is the way they’re making use of tradition in the present-day world (the “modern” world). that’s simply awesome. i believe i already mentioned that this was the core of my thesis, and that’s how i linked anime to globalization and social/cultural issues worldwide, explaining how japan is actually overcoming the “globalization’s cultural consequences” crisis. so they are of interest to many people even on a practical level - how they apply (culturally) many, many things. that’s what drives my utmost respect towards them as well.

haha, yeah, they tend to have that good-quality german, don’t they? haha :D it’s fun but the “bad english” is also fun :) i remember in this op of rinne no lagrange i heard the singer say “fly away on a fly today” and made me laugh so hard. afterwards i found out the lyric was actually “on a brighter day”, but still, it was grammatically incorrect nevertheless so that’s what caused an overall confusion, i guess. but it’s cute, i don’t mind that at all. engrish is just as okay as any other misused language. and especially so is waisei-eigo, which is a completely hybrid english language (the japanese english language).

hahaah „Take this English fan-subbers, I don't need subs for that!“ yeah, must be fun to speak a language that appears somewhere like that :)) i’ve never learnt german, but i had some knowledge in my earlier days when i was highly influenced by my mother (she’s quite fluent in it) whom played the RTL in the mornings before i went to school, while we were having breakfast :) i learnt quite a bit back then, as my primary skill in life is my hearing, and so languages were of great interest and proved fun for me to learn, too :))

“It's very very interesting that you mention „baito“, because I watch anime for such a long time and I was always coming across the word and wondering about the similarity to „arbeit“. Now it all falls into place :-D”

ohh, come on - hasn’t it ever occured to you before? honestly? i mean i didn’t even read about that at first - as i started watching anime and started noticing those english loanwords and hybrid forms, i realized baito must be one such too, but from arbeit, a verb i knew from those times with RTL i already mentioned above. oh, and they sometimes call it arbaito on anime, too ^^ haha :))

“it's also sort of a childhood dream because I always wanted to run a comic shop”

that’s nice :)) i can envision it engaging many other people who could come and chill there, talk about manga, meet new people and so on :)) sorry, that’s just my imagination adding to the overall ideas and concepts of things, but i just imagine it would be fun if it did happen that way :)) having kids all over the place (students, that is, or lively otaku adults as well ^^)

okay, see you soon then. it took me a couple of days to respond as well haha :)) i hope you’re well. (oh, now i feel like watching haikyuu...)

Aug 28, 2014
krukky says...

hello, how have you been doing? ^^ how is your neko-chan?

i just received an e-mail that you'd messaged me and i was so happy and excited, 'cause i was thinking about you recently and just wondering how you're both doing (you and your cat), but i don't see any comments from you here, so.. it's not really real, i guess - a false alert :)

hope all is good with you. take care:))

Aug 24, 2014
krukky says...

lolitas: why wouldn't it? :3 i'm positive many women are drawn to such an image, maybe not because of the same reasons that men are, but it may be the other way around as well, i wouldn't deny the possibility :)

but i see what you mean. and yeah, you could say it's not very popular a thing generally (the pure subtext), but the fact that someone has defined such patterns in some way and seeks for this kind of productions, is pointing to the emergence of a trend, at least in my eyes, since i instantly obtained the term, and i know of other people who enjoy that in anime as well, so the fact that it isn't being talked about all that much is the only thing that's holding it's development into a more major part of anime productions, if you ask me.

to give only a foolish, but really indicative example, there is the notion of "fan service" and it is largely used (there is even a wikipedia acrticle on it), whereas many other bits and pieces, patterns, etc. in anime haven't yet received their proper callings, or at least not in the english-speeking community, so that we tend to pass them by as trends, but they nevertheless are still there.

it reminds me of the "..."'s that appear regularly on anime (three or more consecutive dots) when someone is at a loss for words for some reason, but this thing, as far as i've researched so far (and asked around, too) doesn't really have a "name". in my opinion that is what is making it harder for such gifs and images to be found easily - first of all because no one knows how to label them exactly, and second of all because it's not a thing people talk and post about, so that there isn't much such info (mostly, but not merely in terms of pictures, because that's what i'd been loking for) on the web. and that's quite unfortunate for people who'd like to express their emotions in real life in a similar to the anime emotionality manner. :)

so we have lots more to  learn and invent regarding anime ;))


Aug 14, 2014
krukky says...

“Maybe that's because they feel saver thinking they picked the right way and did not miss out on opportunities” got to be something like that, yeah.

“But those open-ended anime works that just have no conclusion at all are downplaying the medium as just a form of advertising for the manga/lightnovel/game” oh yeah, you’re right. although, in my opinion, even those are interesting in their own way.

for example i just love one specific part of the koitabi: true tours nanto short (promo, i guess?) series and i used it specifically in my thesis. because it’s a really good example of how japanese popular culture (as in anime and manga) aids in the preservation and evolution of traditional japanese culture. what i had in mind was the part where those random students are taken to some small village where they see local men performing the local dance and they say no other thing that “that’s cool”. and in bulgarian “cool” has a strong connotation to “modern” and “contemporary”, and “youthful”, so in that sense saying something old is cool is saying it is young, contemporary and modern, which levels it up with all sorts of things you find cool, as pop idols themselves, for example.

and that really is something in the view of all those traditional cultures worldwide which are struggling with globalization’s consequences and the youngsters abandoning the old stuff and being more interested in the new stuff. whereas in japan, or so i claimed, they have a kind of symbiosis between those two with both feeding each other and just being in harmony (like ying and yang and such stuff - the two seeming polarities). so actually in that promo video there were lots'a cool stuff, from my perspective ^^

yeah, probably it’s just like those fariy tale fans for me, but i don’t really know. i just like things conclude in a way, but then leave space for more things to develop into your imagination (especially when it comes to romance and the “pure subtext”) and i believe that is inevitable anyways, since life tends to go on whatever happens. but still maybe i have developed such a strong liking to it in opposition to western-style epicness and endings, which tend to have this huge soundtrack and for it all to "come to an end" (ta-da-da-daaam!) and for you to feel like life has stopped now, and (what is even worse) for you to start taking those emotional/perspective patterns into your own life, into “reality”. now that sucks since you become a fatalist, or someone who’s clinging to ”this life”, “this body”, “things” in general, etc., because you want to escape this sense of doom, of end and all. that’s perhaps what i’m most strongly opposed to when it comes to “definitive endings”, because harnessing the imagination is always better, in my opinion, than putting a lid onto it so that it can not grow any longer :) that’s all.

no, it’s not a drift at all, since i think i sense what you’re about to say. (after reading what you had to say next:) okay, maybe not :)

so, i have to make this clear then. yes, i do like “pure subtext” in the sense that i enjoy people being depicted in certain roles, i like the japanese femininity stereotypes to an extent (at least in imagination, in anime), and what i like about pure subtext is the idea that love isn’t necessarily sex, or physical interaction between two people. i love it in such displays of affection that the romance may never be consumed but nevertheless the characters experience a lot of emotions because of their communication. i love it that some people are willing to not take things further, even though they ahve strong affection towards a person, and i love it that sometimes people who get confessions and don’t respond to them emotionally nevertheless are kind as to they say “thank you for your liking me”, which is really sweet and  a good thing to do, instead of shying away from the person, just because you don’t like him/her or something like that - or even worse, making fun of him/her, etc. that’s just stupid a thign to do and it’s better to not be taught to kids to do, in my personal opinion.

so basically that’s pure subtext - it’s romance without consumption on screen, and without even a trace of such intentions - it’s just the phase of attraction between the two, which, in my personal opinion, is the most blissful thing of all, so i cherish that and i do encourage people viewing that sort of thing that does not necessarily lead to anything else really, but it nevertheless leaves the person feel good, and even after a “loss”, to be optimistic and grateful about it in some way (about having experiencing the thing nevertheless, i mean).

it may not sound as a thing that could happen “in reality” but i’m not all so sure. and also, if you can imagine (or else experience it through imagination) and enjoy it, then it is there, don’t you think? i mean, you don’t necessarily have to, like, experience it with people around you at any cost, although it could be interesting and nice, but you just kind of don’t need to, so you’re just enjoying it on screen. i don’t know if that applies for men as well, but for women it certainly does.

so you probably got confused because i said that offscreen just about anything can happen - being it leisurely spending the day with your chap, or even things like hentai crazy sex. what i meant with that example wasthat pure subtext is what it is, but it still is an open-ended story, so that if at a certain point someone decides to make a “follow-through” of a certain couple, let’s say, they could depict them in any way they like: they can either follow the pure subtext scenario to the end (like, 'till the death of those people, let’s say), or either they could have them change totally and experience wild erotic fantasies. what i imply by that example is that it is really open-ended so that anything could happen. and in that sense any fan’s imagination may come up with different interpretations of what happening afterwards - like the many fan-fics and stuff. but also that just stories tend to be that way and they could always change.

i didn’t mean to imply that i was into hentai, or lolita stereotypes, or stuff like that, because it won’t be true. still, i appreciate difference and i try to imagine reasons why someone like me could enjoy such a thing, if i’d do something in that direction - does that make sense? in short i just gave that example hypothetically…

you do really find pure subtext deforming? oh, that’s too bad. i mean, i’m not much of an expert on romantic relationships or anything, but i told you what fascinates me about that idea, because i love the tension between the two, the attraction and likings, which are left in the mind rather than manifested physically in a sexual manner. that’s about it, i’m just that type of a dreamer, and i’ve received such treatment as well (to some extent), so i don’t believe it’s not realistic at all - it depends on the point of view :))

thank you for the tezuka recommendations, i’ll keep them in mind. for now i was actually quite drawn to buddha :)) they all seem interesting, though. and yeah, it’s cool for a person to have so multi-directed imagination, and a simplistic (non-intrusive, i like to say) style - that is quite good and pleasant.

hahaha okay (about tomoko’s fujoshiness). i’m not sure if fujoshi are funny to me at the moment, since i got a bit “scarred” by fujoshi kanojo (a live-action film) - i felt (seeing it "in flesh and blood") it wasn’t all that cute and sweet, or funny, as things tend to be in anime. besides fujoshi are generally BL fans, and i’m not pretty sure i’m a fan of that kind of fandom… but who knows?? haha

“haha I just love your examples from your real life, sorry for laughing” yep, i’m glad that’s how they make you feel, ‘cause even when thing are “real” and “serious” i prefer for them to be funnily put/expressed so i’m glad that got to you XD (that’s my proud grin right there hehe, like jimsy’s fromfuture boy conan - he had this sort of "single brow" thing, that also runs in my family, mind you haha ;))

hahaha, you’re so funny. no, i do get your point and don’t mind being like that - i think that’s normal, in a good sense. like, what i’m doing is really freaking people out, so i won’t think it to be the most right thing to do, i guess. your words about information being out there in the open made me think a little differently than usual right now, but i’ll see where it’ll take me.

usually i believe that any identity a person may have is transient and so any mark one may leave is non-realistic in a sense, meaning that it actually binds the person him/herself to itself. in that sense i was recently very excited about many people who now have facebook and blogs and activity and eventually die, because i imagined how many years from now (a bit anime-like but bare with me please, that’s my imaginary world at the moment) people may get to explore those profiles and this activity and find it inspiring in some way for themselves, and that’s a thing i respect. so yeah, now imay sound crazy (but, to tell you the truth, i’m quite used to it so shouganai :))

so then, about your comments here: feel free to just copy and paste any info you don’t mind sharing and then deleting the original comment (if you’re up to actually devoting time to that, or else just discard the stuff and it’s fine by me, although i am pleased with keeping a history online and going back in time like that, searching for pieces of information in past posts, comments and stuff like that - that aspect of the “virtual reality” helps a lot).

haha, about the abomination of the source: yeah, i had that kind of a feeling myself, and to tell you the truth i got really excited by the manga at first (seeing the picture i showed you before), but i was a bit discouraged to begin reading it then not only by a certain conversation, but because i... didn’t still read manga back then haha i mean i had never done it before, and to be honest, up ‘till now i’m more of an anime type than manga type, although for me manga is a treasure that i’m in awe with.

but still i’m just a big "moving-images" type, and have always been, with books being always a thing that didn’t quite, i don’t know, i just was more picky about it than about watching things, let’s say. and i guess the same goes with manga now. i remember my sister being annoyed and angry with me when we were kids, and she said i was stupid and an idiot who didn’t read, whereas she was so literate and all, but i didn’t mind, ‘cause i had my love for certain books and i just cherished that and it was enough for me, i believe :))

oh wow, i’m so glad you’ve had that experience with the guts/griffith relationship :)) i didn’t mean it in any strict sense (what i’d written), but on the whole, more generally. just because i know (or have the feeling, seeing certain “signs” - details, scenes) that people’s actions rarely are simply “what they seem” and there is much more one could expect and/or at least hope for, so yeah - my perspective was totally naive and laic, but from the point of view of life-experience, so i guess that still counts to some extent haha:) it’s cool that you’ve changed your own perspective, that’s really making me happy (especially in view of berserk’s plot and imagery), and this may prove to be quite a valuable experience ^^ or so i’d like to think.

ohh, too bad about the movie scene not being as good as you’d hoped. but then again “thumbs up” for those confessions and experiences, ‘cause i do very much appreciate people being opened before themselves, as, if one is burdened by prejudice, they easily tend to “lie to themselves” about their own preferences and that’s really sad, and pathetic actually. it’s a thing i’d done myself, and i’d seen other people do themselves, and it’s not nice, it’s just unnecessary and violent, to tell you the truth…

well, yeah, "rape", but i don’t believe things to be just what they seem, really. from what i’d read and what i’ve seen so far (and i hope that doesn’t sound rude in some way) caska might have as well wished for that (not exactly rape, but some sort of sexual relationship with griffith. even though some women (people) tend to actually have fantasies of rape and for that getting them aroused. but with fantasies it’s always “safer” than in “reality”, i think, because a person can extend their own concepts of things and don’t rely on other’s interaction. which reminds me of the bottle rape scenes in a movie and a manga i’m acquainted with. and i don’t know if anyone would actually find that arousing…? i mean, as twisted as i am, i didn’t find it that way, so yeah… but who knows…), or she may have secretly enjoyed it, as a really cool and insightful comment on the berserk-confessions blog suggests.

dithch that crap: haha, okay, i’ll do my best with that. :)) i’ll really consider your opinion, although i have the third movie on the computer and it’s been waiting for a looong time now :)) i’ll think about what you’re saying, i guess, so that i may commence reading the manga instead :) thanks for the opinion on everything. and sorry i’m not more proficient in the berserk area, so that we could really discuss it hand-on, which is really cool as one could confess whatever one likes, but being able to receive comments about it is even more valuable at times, so i highly appreciate that, and that’s why i wish that all social networks could become more alike some day :))

lol, sorry, i hope i wasn’t too rude going on about intoxication and stuff, it’s just that i have some history with alcohol and in my beliefs it’s not always a good thing (for the body, i mean), so that’s what i implied. please forgive my being rude :))

and, witrh that i conclude my writing for the time being. farewell and a good day to you.

Aug 14, 2014
krukky says...

(okay, now if that ain't stupid: i originally posted my comments to you on my own wall... that's just ridiculous..)

hello again. here's a little greeting ^^ (i'm still in the mood :3). so, let's continue:

about library genesis: no, no, it’s not a temporary thing - it happened to me at first as well. but then i figured out if i used simply the first link that was out there - the title itself, then everything was good. and kinishinaide - don’t mention it, it’s no big deal, i hope you have fun while reading them ^^

german language in anime: let me tell you something about their use of german i discussed recently when i went to meet up with my shishou in anime. she was utterly interested in it and had fun in observing how in anime english speakers usually use some sort of f’d up english - they sound weird and not “native” at all, really, whereas in a certain hamatora episode for example, there was this speech in german, which, she said, “was in perfect german” :)) that is very amusing and funny. to tell you the truth i have observed that about the use of english myself - like in that non-intriguing show called kin-iro mosaic there was this girl, alice, who was english, and she came to japan blah-blah, and then the japanese protagonist went to her home in england. both she (alice) and her seemigly british mother, did not speak proper english :) i remmeber there was one certain show that impressed me with its proper sounding english use, but i no longer remember which one it was, ‘cause i didn’t make a record of it in my mind, but nevertheless i was utterly impressed by it ("it" being "this kind of use of the language"):)

so, my shishou actually thinks there’s something about the japanes beeing really fascinated with germany, and them being germany’s allies in the wwII and stuff like that. it may be partly true, who knows :) i recently discovered, while reading the ikkyu manga, that their temples were marked with a swastika, so i sent her this image for us to laugh about her theory and was like “they may have been amused with the germans because of the swastika”, but she thinks it’s much more than that, really :))) like the whole diligence, detail-oriented work, the whole spirit of “giving your all for a (mental, one that comes from your mind, not necessarily a civic one and all) cause”, etc. - those things i think she has in mind. and i should really agree to that, ‘cause japanese popular culture segments such as anime and manga clearly are full of those motifs and things:)

as far as my thesis is concerned, there would be the use of the word baito which constantly appears in anime - it’s a derivative of arbeit/arbeiten (to work). that is what my thesis explored - the so-called “loan words” in anime, but the english ones, since although there are many different ones which is amusing, but still the english ones are the most.

and yeah, i went to a spanish highschool (i.e. a language high school, we have lots of those around here, for many languages, though mostly european ones), so i had an education in spanish language and culture in my early teenage years :)

hahah, sorry, no, i didn’t think you were retarded at the least, i just though you may not be using facebook, since many people i’ve talked with around here actually don’t, so yeah :) that’s what it was all about. and then there was this live/life misunderstanding, so it all falls into place ^^ no worries.

yeah, i see. (about your business) but the question is what is your purpose, what is your goal with all of that, form my point of view. because simply getting by on your own, or even being rich, or even just making money, is not a good enough reason (and i don't mean "you" personally, but for a person in general, or, say, for myself ;)) in my opinion. not that i’m trying to “hold you back” in some way or anything, but that’s really how i feel.

and i’m in a similar position as you, so i think i can relate a bit. so, from my perspective, as a person who’d been taught certain things in and about life, i feel like i want my entrepreneurial business to be oriented towards people, learning and personl+societal change. if this does not happen with it, it’d better never be relized, and i’d be better off selling clothes, being a translator (something i aimed at recently), or working in an office. do you see my point? if all my expectations and “ambitions” (although this isn’t a proper word for what i have in mind, which is more of a “goal” and “dream” combined) are not accomplished, i wish for the shole thing to not happen at all.

and i find this is the better way around, ‘cause if i’m to just try and survive (do it for the money), or get a lot of cash (do it for riches, status, material prosperity), or make my workers feel like they’re working in any other establishment that is out there - a shop, a cafe, a company, whatever, than i’d rather for it not to happen, ‘cause my purpose is for this thing to be what i wish it to be and that means for it to have those traits - serving the education, experience and (positive) change to the society at large (which is a really big-scale presentation, but generally i believe if things work out properly this is just bound to happen in one way or another, although the means are much more simple, small-scale and “popular”, really).

so what i said basically is set on this perspective of mine and you could really do as your goals demand of you to, but if it were for awareness/consciousness to be involved, i guess things like your capitalism dislikes would barge in in some way, so that they would help you shape your “true” intention, your true “dream” of what you want your business to become, so they will define to a large extent your goal itself. that’s how i see things. so, good luck with that :))

and this really happens out of a person’s life experience and involvement in society, and in him/herself personally. what i mean is that if you really “listen to your voice” (damn, that sounds so cliche in a bad way :D), you are bound to encounter many little details that you’d want to follow, or to “have” in your dream, or to accomplish by what you do, as well as many things that you would wish to avoid at all costs (with the bigger cost i could think of right now actually being for things to not happen at all, that is for your “desire” to not be accomplished, unless all criteria that comprise it actually are met). and by that means you’ll be able to look around you, decide what is there society needs, what is that you need, and what is you can do (like what abilities do you personally have) to fulfill that desire. after those are cleared, the planning process can easily commence. and then the realization of things is scheduled  to inevitably happen, if your plans are correct and your criteria met. haha i realize this sounds a bit like an equation or something, but that’s how i see “my” personal success at this point. :)

so overall you’re not being "inadequate” to the present state of things in any way :) but that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what you really want things to be like. (i’m just saying that because of your own words when you first mentioned that, and to me it seemed you have an inner “concern” about it. that is why we’re even discussing it so broadly, i believe. of course, you don’t need to agree with me, but that’s how i see things right now.)

aha, now i see what you needed a person literate in  japanese for :) well, that’s kind of nice - to be able to bring good quality stuff to folks who, say, are young (or old) and so they, say, don’t speak english, and in that way they could get into reading the good quality originals in their native language. hm, sorry, am i getting you right, ‘cause now that i’ve said it it seemed a bit off. like, do you intend on publishing the manga in german?

i guess i said that because of my own wishes for anime and manga to be available here in bulgarian and for a reasonable (or even affordable) cost - which is to say for anime to be aired regularly on tv and things like that. i wish for that ‘cause i believe anime and manga have a great educational potential, and imagination-developing potential, and emotional “upbringing” potential. so in that sense it would be great for people all around the world, both very young, and very old, to have access to anime and manga in their own native language now, at this point of our societies’ development (since, as you may have noticed, social “anomie” is growing with globalization and isolation between people, gaps between generations, loneliness and so forth, are really big issues). so in that sense there are lots of things that anime can and could help with.

like, for me, it has helped me quite a bit overcome some emotional trauma and restraints i had - it just inspired me to be more social, more carefree, more cheerful, more confident, more open-minded and so on. if it is able to do that with me (and countless other people i’m observing), then why should the whole wide world, every generation included, be devoid of such a blissful medium? it shouldn’t, of course.

there are other things i have in mind here, but they’re not my concepts generally so i can’t really discuss them, but people have many ideas on how things to work in that direction i’m speaking about. and many more will grow, if people at large obtain a true and respectful understanding of the medium’s potential, and have a really good goal in mind as to how these “good points” of this popular culture segment could aid humanity, societies, people from different groups (age/sex/nationality/education/whereabouts/etc,etc… the list is endless, so that it really is about "humanity at large") and so on.

and although i admire doujinshi and i’ve kind of thought about that (although the concept is still in it’s seedling process) being produced in my country of origin, i would have to say no - i have no intentions in doing that at the moment. people here don’t still have the level of the japanese producers in many, many ways - not merely as artistic skills, no. i mean the society at large here is very different at the present moment, as we’re clearly west-oriented and so to speak “abandoning our traditions/roots/past” in order to accomplish ourselves in the modern-day sense of that notion (say, to “be a powerful economy”). but what is fascinating to me about japan, japanese society and japanese anime, is exactly the way in which those guys preserve and keep on expanding and modernizing their tradition, their folklore, their crafts, etc., etc. that is a huge part of my thesis, since i’m utterly intrigued and interested in that particular aspect of japanese society, which is clearly visible in japanese anime.

we used to be quite a collectivistic society ourselves here, similar to japanese in many ways (and that’s partly why i liked them so much), but not any more. we’ve just left that behind. and besides we were quite different in some respects too. but this last thing could be quite resourceful, if we were to try and compare our two cultures and look for a way to bind them, to get them closer in the present time. i think that would be an awesome thing to do, instead of leaping after “the american dream” as we’re doing at the moment, and it’s disgusting to observe. (again, you could read the artical about seyiu in japan to get a better understanding of my point as to how one can be global and local at the same time - how to glocalize).

and, well, with that being said, if we were to turn our point of view eastwards, instead of westwards, and remain in our local position, thinking of ways in which to improve “things” in general, and for the better of all, that is - many, many things may occur to us that we’d never ever thought about before, just because there is a large potential there, in that “soft power” of japan (that’s a general quote in academic literature on anime, and present in koichi iwabuchi’s articles about japanese “invasion” in asia - the re-colonization of eastern asia, but through a peaceful means - although he implies there are certain threats that the japanese society must acknowledge, and temptations which they should avoid at any cost falling into, because it will result in a major “turning back” instead of development, and into a real re-colonization instead of simply a means of inspiration for the whole reagion's "own" development and stuff).

wow, it’s quite nice being able to discuss all of those japan-related issues with someone, since it’s really very important each of us’ role in this process of “reality” - like we could as well be more demanding of anime products, in the sense we might want to have more of those products around here, but still we have to keep in mind what (not soft) power could do to people, since it could easily devour them, if they’re weak. so these stuff are interesting to think about and have in consideration when doing everything, and in particularly if you’re aiming at doing something japan-related :)) (and i don’t mean “you” like you personally here, but for like people in general, for me as well :))

so, back to you question again. manga by locals is a “yes” - that is the core of my concept of what i would like anime and manga to be like in the (near, please :)) future. but i would like them to be locals who nevertheless have crossed that boundary of "static locality”, meaning that they have a great respect for anime and manga as japanese products and view their potentials not merely for making cash, but  educating people and aiding to their personal development and growth emotionally, spiritually, physically and however really.

and to me having “the japanese trace” in locally produced anime/manga does not aid to the product losing of it’s originality at all. no - anime and manga are simply a matrix, which can have just about any content you’d like it to have, and that’s what’s cool about it, and that’s what people want from it - it’s like for people to say “okay, i don’t like books to be published anywhere else if they contain letters and characters in them, i say this is robbing the authors of authenticity”. i’m just saying that because i had one such comment recently and i really don’t believe it’s a reasonable one.

anime and manga have in themselves the potential to be very enriching and aiding the imagination of people, so that i don’t believe “we are better off inventing something of our own” instead - that’s another comment i got. i say to that - well, if you’re so great, why haven’t you done that still? and besides, why do you find being in resonance with someone else, or being similar to them to lessen your own character? i don’t believe there is an objective reason for that, really.

haha, buddy, i have to tell you, we’re quite the match :) i put my studies on hold too - as i think i did mention before, it took me 3 years to actually graduate, so that when i was on my thesis defence last month all of ‘em around me were kids :) i saw many of the people i’d known from the lower courses had stalled on their thesis writing as well, so i must say, i think this is not so “abnormal” a thing either a. for people delving with arts and culture, b. for people here (bulgaria), or c. for people in general in present-day times (i.e. you, my sister who studied in america, minae mizumura (a japaneseekkyo author) who stalled on her studies both in english at school, and then in finishing up her phd at university, and so on).

and then there’s this: “eating only at night and watching anime all day”. like, i had a certain period when i lived on my own (about a year or half a year of it) when i didn’t sleep at night, ate only at night, and then i either slept during the day, or watched anime, or from time to time had to go to work (which killed me in the end when my working conditions drastically changed, and i was very foolish to take up responsibilities i couldn’t really handle at that time, and maybe in general as well). so, tell me about it :3

i wouldn’t say i was ashamed, but my parents were really demanding of me to finish up my education, although i had given up on it after i finished the studies (in 2012). but now things changed and i did it, although many people around me felt really uncomfortable because of my selfishness abandoning them in order to lock myself in the room and do nothing else for two or three months, not even going out… from that perspective writing a crappy text as mine was, is really fruitless and unnecessary a thing, but it happened anyways, or to be more accurate in my speech it did not happen, but i did it.

ah, so your “crisis” was before university? that makes it different than my circumstances. but nevertheless i had one even before that as well, as i aimed at going to study abroad (best wish - edinbourgh, but i got accepted only in london and in a smaller town in wales). i wanted to be a photographer back then (this is a really ego-oriented story, mind you haha) and also to escape the years of “torture” in highschool where we did nothing, my classmates took drugs in the classroom, yelled at teachers, teachers were acting inadequate and it was all a big and slimy mess. so i was distressed, i felt like sh*t, and wanted progress.

i wanted to escape into a better reality as well, so that i took up the arts - i was into literature and poetry in the beginning (wiritng and all), but then gradually went through practical skills practicing (haha, sorry for that tautology), like painting, crafts and such stuff, and then i took up photography (or shall i say i finally convinced my parents to buy me e proper camera, and not use the one we had, which was a really, really crappy one, and only meant for “collecting memories” on film); although i did win a snowboard by means of that, but that’s another story haha and my sister is involved too…).

so my parents were against it from the very beginning, meaning that they just said nothing to me and didn’t care, but i went through all of the stages, the steps, and everything, and got accepted into london college of arts and other places, and long story short, after a huge struggle to have that dream of mine (one that included me challenging myself more) accomplished, it actually got crushed (because i had true intentions of going there, and i didn’t care for anything else, but my parent’s said "we won’t give you any money", even the ones we had discussed before… so it was off).

and i had simply taken the entrance exam to our local university as a joke, ‘cause i actually really had no intentions on staying here. that’s why i took an english exam - it was something i had like “by default”, i didn’t find it as a struggle in any way,  and i didn’t spend even a minute preparing for that exam (i must sound like a total moron and jackass, but it’s true :)).

and i so much didn’t care about this exam, this particular university and staying here to study, and had no abilities in communicating with other people than my parents about stuff like that, that i made my priorities list for what i wanted to be accepted in (like which course/programme) based on a thing i’d heard a friend of mine say, which was “oh, cultural studies is like art history” (which it clearly wasn’t, now that i’ve been there haha). so actually i thought if even i had to stay here for a year and then proceed to my UK studies, it would be better for me to take art history, then to just sit around doing nothing, so i had that marked as first choice.

but i had really no clue, no actual idea how these stuff work, so when i got accepted to that off the bat i went to the administrative office and was like, “okay so am i bound to go to that thing? i mean am i not accepted in all of them now?” (and i meant the whole list i'd made, first choice, seconf choice, etc.) (i like having a choice, i guess) they said no. “but i wanna go for my second choice” (which was chinese culture and language studies). “no”. and with all those "no"s i’d received (no from edinbourgh, no from my parents to go to either london or wales, no from the university to let me go for chinese studies), i was left with my cultural studies chance.

and i believe it was “fated” or something, or at least i had a big chance to do something worthwhile because of that thing :)) i met the most life-changing people for me because of getting into that course. so yeah, fate works in mysterious ways haha (to you it may seem this whole story is pointless a tale for me to be telling, but i don't think so, because it's a real-life, full-blooded, contemporary story that demonstrates just how "stuff works" in life and how "fate" works, which is really cool for people to experence, even from a distant perspective. and, considering what we'll be discussing later on, about privacy, i also think that those "real stories" that people leave beihnd are good source of inspiration for some fiction being produced, 'cause they seem so intriguing and non-realistic at times :)) i hope you can see what i mean)

and, haven't you ever considered taking a gap year or something - to travel, work, clear your mind and all? i know your circumstances might have not allowed for that (as did mine, simply because we don't have the notion of gap years here in bulgaria - we're a "developing economy" and all is so rushed, we have the feeling that we have to catch-up with everything and it's absurd, since things are not done well in the end and you end up a crappy loser working as a secretary in an office after studying psychology or whatever, so it's quite ridiculous, but it's better to just laugh about it, i guesshahaha <--- like mei and satsuki's father from tototro :))), but still... did it ever cross your mind back then? does that even exist like a practice in austria? (i know here it doesn't really haha although people do lots'a switching between courses and otehr things so on the whole we're cool, it's fine, especially since at university you're still young and all so all of it seems okay, whatever happens - you just have so much potential still :))

Aug 14, 2014