Gzerble

"DUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDU!!!@#!" - Villains' battlecry (JoJo's Bizzare Adventure).

Ridiculous battlecries, poses stupid beyond belief, cinematography that insults the intelligence, people shouting the name of the "secret technique" they are using and then explaining it, inconsistent logic, strategies that have nothing to do with winning and everything about "drama", training sequences, overly serious narration, idiotic monologs, situations which defy not only common but every convoluted sense, stock characters, a plot lacking drama, no character development... Oh, Shounen, how loathesome you are.

I haven't watched Shounen for ages after I started moving towards more artistic and mature genres. Once the transition to other forms of anime was complete, internally scoffing at Shounen due to snobbery became a vice of mine. But, time has passed, and my snobbery has been toned down plenty. Thinking that one of the more highly recommended ones with a fresh perspective and an open mind would probably allow me to take some joy in viewing, if for different reasons, made me sit down and watch JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Oh, how wrong I was.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure has everything that is bad about Shounen. Still, I powered through it. Perhaps there was a point to the ridiculous throwaway plot and throwaway characters. Maybe I'm missing something that makes people recommend this. I thought to myself that perhaps the existence of all the bad things does not mean there are not any good things. Perhaps there is some redeeming feature hidden in the dungheap of Shounen idiocy. Maybe if I turn off my mind the way I do with parodies and "play or die" type shows will work. Perhaps my attempt to think is where I go wrong with this. Instead, I feel that watching this has made me dumber.

The combination of attrocious writing, subpar sound, bad animation, and general reliance on the fact that people love Shounen... when added together, comes down to a single fact: If you are above the age of eighteen sixteen twelve, you shouldn't be watching this. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is aimed at young children, not teens. Don't let the "explicit violence" fool you, there is no real darkness here. This is the standard "evil villain is pure evil, good guy is pure good, it is obvious from the start that the good guy will win because determination". Yup. That's about it.

Writing (Story and Characters):

No one expects Shounen to be masterpieces. No one expects the plot to be anything more than "good guy stops ultimate evil, saves world". No one expects there to be characters containing more than one dimension (determined heroes, evil villains, loyal sidekicks, wise masters, et cetera). And yet, people say that JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is fun. And that was what I was expecting, some good mindless writing for some fun. The problem with the writing is that it is on the wrong side of self-aware. It has moments ("DUDUDUDUDUDU!@!#") where you think that they understand that being so over the top is hilarious... but far more likely they actually thought that it was actually cool. If anything, it is definitive proof that people in Japan can be just as utterly moronic as people in the rest of the world.

The plot is the standard generic crap you'd expect. Supernatural villains, therefore the heroes must be the peak of humanity to save them. And of course they are. That is actually the one strength that keeps this anime from being complete garbage - while it is an obvious cliche, it is at least honest about it. There is also a cool thing that happens one third of the way through that made me think that perhaps, just perhaps, the story may actually stop being terrible. Unfortunately, that is just the exception to the rule. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure manages to somehow become even dumber.

Characters being one dimensional is one thing. The problem is that one dimension is "annoying". The main protagonists can be described as a boring cliche, the other characters which are expected to add color can be described as tired cliches, the villains are annoying cliches, and in general, if you expect anything original out of anyone, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is a slap to the face. Still, I went in to this series expecting that. After all, Shounen can manage to work their way around that through adding unique features and original character development. I thought to myself that perhaps this is one such case. WRONG! It is one Shinji away from being the worst cast of characters of all times.

The writing is downright horrible. The only redeeming feature is that JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is honest about what it is. It doesn't try to be deep. It doesn't force characters to be interesting. There is a good twist on things that happens once. I don't like Shounen. It is not that it is all bad, just that it is usually very, VERY, VERY bad. And my god, is this one such case.

Art (Animation and Sound):

Say what you will, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure has its own style. The music sounds is forcefully energetic, the voice acting is over the top, the character designs are extreme, and the obvious attempt to stay true to a manga feel are everywhere. Long story short is that, unfortunately, the style sucks. It is actually stupid. Don't get me wrong, "stupid" is probably just what they were going for if you consider the writing. From the poses which are supposed to be cool but look like a parody of modern dance, the character designs which are a throwback to the worst of the 80s and early 90s, the stilted fight scenes... it just all screams "hurr, dis cool mistah?".

Animation is about bring pictures to life. Somehow, no one got that memo during the creation of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. For some unknown reason the staff thought the viewers would prefer endless poses. It plays out more like someone playing with dolls than anime made post 2010. As I mentioned the character design is retro, or more accurately, so outdated that it does not belong anymore. And by god, are the poses contagiously imbecilic. I'd recommend a drinking game where every time someone strikes a pose the viewers take a shot of vodka, but after three episodes you'd be hauling people off to the emergency room.

Professional sound production exists in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. While the soundtrack tries way too hard to be cool and energetic and ends up a parody of energetic soundtracks, it is professional. The voice acting is, in proud Shounen tradition, way over the top. There is just enough going over the top that the effect is "it's so bad it's good". There are moments where you just have to laugh at how retarded it is ("DUDUDUDUDUDU"). The anguished screams as someone mourns the person they met two days ago are actually genius in that way. This is the only part that is self-aware enough to actually be rather awesome. Still, below average, as even the good bits are drowned by the fact that the people who made this were ultimately serious.

The artwork, while crap, has its moments. By no means is this above average in any way. There is some artistic merit for some of the things that happen here, but it grows incredibly tired by the tenth episode. Still, it is not the worst. And who am I to judge? Just because I like things like fluidity, art, clever use of visual/audio effects, and stuff like that makes me the wrong person for JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

Overall:

I don't like most Shounen, yet tried to come and view this with an open mind. That being said, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure was a horrible experience for me. It isn't as bad as some anime out there, but it makes "average" seem like genius. Don't watch this unless you are very young and think Shounen is cool.