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Fitaritz

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Weary

16 JUL
2011

Wow. Literally, there are a million things that concern me right now. Numerous demands, duties, and tasks that need to be done. Both my physical and mental energy are sapped right out from me, and it feels like I'm being squuezed out of every energy I can manage to muster.

The daily load comes from school. Normally, the levels of the concentration and focus that it requires are mixed, low or high, but to add the heavy ton-like weight emotional baggage of life itself must really be hard.

While when it comes to the social aspect of my life, it is quite stable. I know that I belong to a nice group of acquaintances and they manage to keep me by.

Actually, I don't know what I am feeling right now. It's fuzzy, and blurry, no clarity at all.

Sad thing is, that I might not be able to go to the WYD. I was given a false hope all this time. It's embarrassing enough that my teacher/adviser broadcasted it to my whole batch. Now, how should I respond to the prying questions of my schoolmates. I know how they are, hypocritics with a strong hunger for gossip. They just love to critisize every human/object they can possibly set their eyes on. I just hope that I can be spared from them.

It's less than 2 weeks and the first CET, which is UPCAT will finally become a reality. The simple-looking permit was given to us on a Wednesday. Also, I attend school 6x a day. Let's hope I don't faint from all this stress and all things tiresome.

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I drag people with me, bringing them down too much. I feel like I'm such a burden sometimes, and thus to vanish becomes a need

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Universe, guide me and help me. Go and arrange my plans/dreams, and make them come true, if otherwise let me not be broken.

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