Ah anime. It's been awhile hasn't it? I mean, I was all about you in high school and then one day...I "grew up" and just didn't look at you any more. My Manga all slipped into the abyss we call 'moving' and my movies all but three joined them. For years I never bothered to watch anything again, not even the ones that had remained on my shelf. Utena and Angel Sanctuary and Ah! My Goddess the movie were the only three that managed to survive.
And now, living alone, six years later at the tender age of twenty four I find myself devouring anime again. Although, now I find that it also comes with some sensibility. I don't shout my love for anime from the roof-tops. Being a well-groomed drone means I know how to fit in with society, and that means I know the stigma that comes from liking anime. Honestly I probably wouldn't have given it a second chance if it weren't for my 'sister' Murphy and her Terra Byte and those damned cleaver episodes of Death Note.
My 'Sister' is actually a friend I've only known for a year who adopted herself onto me. When I met her she saw the world as this hideous place, was self-titled Murphy because of her horrible luck, she lived on my good graces (and yes, I do mean that) for three months. Three long months, before I finally told her my cousin was coming to stay and could she please get out. I'm sure she knew this was a ploy. I had already told her that I would never come right out and say 'get out of my apartment' but I also knew she had some where else to go. Ah, but I shall forever be grateful to her if only because she re-introduced me to anime. I may never have given it a second chance if not for her.
I don't remember my time in high-school with much fondness, and anime is linked to those ill feelings of my situation and feelings of an out-cast. (Yes, I admit much of that was my own making. I could have, perhaps, fit into life there, become a drone in high-school, but proudly I was myself, even when it caused me trouble and embarrassment.) Now, I live alone, in a tiny apartment with free time from classes. As I get to know myself and the things I actually enjoy I realize, I have missed watching these cartoons, these anime's that fill me with gladness. A well put together story with light-hearted moments, comedic expressions, and soul touching plot lines...well it's something I didn't know I was missing.
It's amazing to be able to think, and say I like anime to myself. Not to anyone else really. I like it, but as I said, I have no desire for the stigma that often comes with this fandom to attach it's self to me. It is possible that this 'stigma' I speak of is actually just self-projected fear of rejection, but I'm not ready to face that possibility yet so for now slow and steady wins the race.
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