It’s been a bit of a wait, but here it is folks, the latest “it’s so bad, you *have* to watch it” ecchi anime title! As usual, I find these little gems on the behest of sothis in an attempt to cover as many titles as possible in the anime database since I would definitely not be watching them by choice. But the plethora of terrible and forgotten ecchi shows have become a major source of amusement for both me and those friends who get to laugh at the atrocious screenshots produced. And believe me, Homeroom Affairs does not disappoint.
Opening with the lustful dream of a rather naive teacher believing that his first day in an all-girls school will see him surrounded by innocent females professing their love for him, it becomes painfully obvious that this is a Japanese otaku’s wet dream of an OVA. Obviously, he has never watched an episode of Jerry Springer filled with teenage sluts. Brought to earth with a bump, Tokiro-sensei stumbles, literally, across Miyako. Proving that he is as feckless as first thought, he is led by the young minx back to her place where they discuss the fact she has a packet of condoms in her possession. Predictability means that I do not need to spell out what happens next, nor how the teacher finds himself in a compromising position with the buxom babe.
As Tokiro attempts to suppress the breasticles being rubbed in his face, only the fact that Miyako is 18 (and therefore legal) sets this aside from Kodomo no Jikan. The creative and downright perverted ways that the pretty young girl devises to seduce her sensei are frequently laughable, especially against the backdrop of a classroom. Unfortunately, the second half of these two episodes sees a deviation from the crude to the poorly plot driven. In an attempt to explain Miyako’s scantily clad tendencies and force a sense of empathy from the viewer, the appearance of an ex-boyfriend gives her even more opportunities to shed various items of clothing and once more unleash the puppies.
Having seen an almost identical plot unfold in Strange Love, Homeroom Affairs simply becomes much of a muchness and instantly forgettable. With a title reminiscent of a porno, and a blantant desire to be an all-out hentai, the OVA instead plays it safe as an over-the-top ecchi and surprisingly it is this that makes for disappointment. Note to the writers: When a girl sits topless before a guy with her legs akimbo, she doesn’t want the guy to pass out from a severe nosebleed. If a female uses her body to wash the object of her desires, being pushed away is certainly not the biggest turn on. So please, less of the teasing, and more of the down and dirty!
Created in the 90’s, the hand drawn style of Homeroom Affairs certainly lacks finesse. With characters facial features varying from scene to scene, and colours seeming to bleed between the hastily drawn lines, it compares unfavourably with shows from the same era. Even palette choices are often completely wrong, for example urine-hued water ruins what could have been a sexy bathtub scene. One thing in its favour, however, is an uncanny ability to draw breasts. Perfectly proportioned Miyako proudly displays her feminine protrusions on a regular basis and they really are a marvel to behold. If only the animation for the rest of her body warranted as much love and attention. Or any other character. Or the background.
Usually, I only gripe about voice actors if I watched a show dubbed. But there is always an exception to the rule, and Homeroom Affairs demonstrates that even Japanese seiyuu are not immune from the talentless overacting disease. Especially prevalent in the male cast, whiny, nasal tones spew forth from the misshapen character lips. Even the females aren’t spared some annoyance though; Miyako and her friends act like typical schoolgirls, using uncomfortably high pitched voices to giggle and gossip. The show lacks any opening music, which is a blessing in disguise as the closing track is instantly forgettable, especially with the deluge of episode flashbacks focussing on the boobies.
Stereotyped: from the overly naive teacher who believes that all of his students are angelic kittens that need protecting, to the persistently horny schoolgirl that whips her ample bosom out given half the chance. As tempted as I am to claim zero character development, there is actually a surprising amount given the escalation of the relationship between lusty Miyako and the petrified Toriko. Sadly, this doesn’t make either of them likeable characters, especially when it seems sensei lacks the balls to be a real man! Then again, ecchi is never out to dazzle the viewer with a likable cast, or leave them with fond memories of an engrossing plot.
By god is it bad, but Homeroom Affairs definitely has that something that will make you laugh at just how terrible it is. Be it the naked apron trick, or the Soapland visit, this is definitely a title for those sadists who love to experience the “so bad it’s good” effect. Everyone else, heed the warning and steer well clear.
Ehara Tokiro is looking forward to his first day as a new teacher in an esteemed all-girls school, dreaming of young and naive females being coy and flirting with him. What Mr. Tokiro wasn’t expecting was to become intimate with the sexually-charged Miyako Hase, especially after discovering the randy little minx is one of his new students! Using her feminine wiles and dirty tricks, Miyako makes a proposition to her homeroom teacher that no red-blooded male could refuse. The only question is, can Ehara’s teaching principles overcome the stirring in his loins when confronted by a beautiful -and naked - pupil?
As a not-so-closet perv, I love watching anything involving panty-shots, handfuls of cleavage and an innuendo fuelled plot. Although most of my reviews will err on the risque, I also love the obscure, the twisted and things that make you think - drop me a line if you want to discuss any of them!