Sky Girls Review

story 3/10

When I watched Sky Girls' opening sequence, I immediately noticed the similarities between it and Yukikaze:  Aliens have invaded earth, earth's population is in shambles, yet mankind has managed to pull off a victory in the end.  Within the first five minutes, however, I quickly came to realize that such likeness was superficial on every level.  Instead of witnessing badass dogfights with incredible CGI, you get to see some sixteen year old girls (who look younger) trounce around in tiny bikinis.  Not a good sign to say the least.

As you might expect, these girls are actually pilots of the military's top secret weapons, Sonic Divers, and of course all three follow cliché archetypes.  There's Karen, the supposed genius who is unable to speak with men and talks by spewing random percentages (because remember, if you have a percentage in your sentence it makes you smart!); Eika, the emotionless military type who everyone in the OVA heralds as the best pilot on earth; and Otoha, the loudmouth airhead whose single-digit IQ is mankind's only hope.  None of these three have an inkling of depth, yet the scriptwriting flaunts their shallowness as if it were a virtue.

By the time the action scene rolled around, I was already snoring; twelve year olds flaunting various swim suits isn't within my tastes.  Never mind that the world is in danger, our favorite imbecile mechanic has to get a good view of Otoha's panties, and the two must argue for two minutes about how stupid the other person is.  The entire OVA is filled with pointless scenes like this -- one lame segment is immediately followed by another of similar quality.

animation 5/10

The animation isn't up to OVA standards. For supposedly being military personnel (since when does that matter in anime anyhow?), the three girls spend about twenty of the thirty minutes waltzing around in swimsuits.  Hell, even their pilot uniform is just another variation of one. I don't see why they even bothered with this, as the girls' designs are far too simplistic to really even call it fanservice. There's an abundant lack of detail ranging from character designs to the scenery, which easily equates an unpleasant visual experience. Just a hint to the creators: If you want to make a fanservice OVA, even if the girls are 12, at least make the girls cute.

sound 4/10

While I'm on the topic of the girls not being attractive, let me add that this is also because of their voice acting. Perhaps it was because of an abhorrent script; regardless, it was terrible. At their very best they were decent, and on average they sucked. Couple in some crap opening/ending themes and lame insert music for good measure. I've three words for the sound score: bad, bad, bad.

characters 3.5/10

The characters are the worst part of this tripe, though. They throw in three obvious "romances," all of which are so contrived it's laughable. Each of the girls are incredibly retarded cliches, and the "admiral" doesn't say his orders out loud, but rather points forward and somehow the crew unanimously understands what he has in mind. I must admit, though, I did actually chuckle when I heard the guy with the goatee say (paraphrasing), "It's one of two things -- a giant alien life form or a flock of birds, we just can't tell yet!" That's about as intuitive as the characters get.

overall 4/10

I must admit, anime series/OVAs like this are productive on one level: They enhance my vocabulary for words synonymous with "bad," and if I can't find one that suits my tastes I can simply create my own.  For this particular instance, I think "craptastic" aptly sums up the thirty minutes of garbage which you hopefully will never put on your screen.  I've been racking my brain in an attempt to come up with at least one redeeming quality this OVA might possess, but I continue to draw blanks.  Simply put, even if you're bored out of your mind, don't bother; you could be doing more productive things like watching paint dry.