Internet Etiquette - what's your view?

[VivisQueen]

I'm sick of the drama in my life, which is why I enjoy coming into the AP forum. I came for the anime, but I stayed for the discussion about anime, the witty banter, and, occasionally, the vigorous (read: pointless) intellectual orgies.

Hell, I would never bring my personal life and/or my moments of vulnerability to this godforsaken Nowhere in the ether. For one, it's nobody's business. Secondly, if I need sympathy I'll go to my real friends (sorry, but they can actually hug me without the use of asterix). Finally, if my problem is really that bad, there's no way posting about it on here could be considered a constructive attempt to resolve it. So, why blow the tumbleweed through the entire forum with my baggage? I'd prefer it if others refrained too, but, when they don't, to get over it quickly if others don't respond the way they wanted.

What's more, having come to AP from a place where there was so much arse-licking, clique-ness and censorship, I feel nothing but relief at AP's open attitude that lets people get on with being themselves. I don't care about what is appropriate for kids (why are they on the internet and not doing their homework anyway?) and I have no intention of pandering to over-sensitive, emotional vampires who feel the need to vomit their neediness on a community which is faceless, communicates by dry text, and ultimately doesn't give a shit.

Bar being racist, sexist, genuinely gistusting, and George W. Bush, I don't want to have to watch every word I say or waste precious seconds apologising to some Nobody from Somewhereville for putting my foot in it.

[Pidjiken]

The net is not the place for bitching moaning and whining about life's troubles. Unless you have a blog or run a vlog, complain away on said blog/vlog in that case, you obviously don't have the money for a shrink.

Taking your real-life issues out on someone on the net is shameful, irritating, and stupid. People come to these kinds of forums for relief from the stress of real-life. For the most part posts that aim to garner sympathy generally just gather hate since no one is here to go "Awww poor baby, this is why I log on, to help whiny little bitches like you."

Cheers Veev! I knew you'd make something like this.

[Uriel]

Originally Posted by VivisQueen

I'll go to my real friends (sorry, but they can actually hug me without the use of asterix).

Like we could send Asterix to hug you. We wish.

I agree, AP is very unique island of well, normality, on the interwebs. I love it that we can fight our futile verbal battles here, discuss everything and joke about almost everything.

Yet on board that has almost 6000 members someone will always be insulted. Good thing that most of the time they keep it to themselves. Problem with internet is that it lacks non-verbal means of communication. That is sometimes what was intended as innocent joke can be misread as grave insult and vice versa. Someone can post something literally crying on his keyboard and his post may get read as joke and treated accordingly.

Been there few times... all you can do is getting tougher skin and take it all with grain of salt.

Concerning the kids - I say adhere to forum rules. If there are no nipples or other hardware in it - it is appropriate. Anyone who says things posted here are inappropriate for kids should talk with my 13yo sister and 14 yo cousin. They are like walking bibles of perversion and sleaziness. I blush when they start swearing and talking dirty. In fact I think they could get more civilized if they read some of AP. At least here our jokes are intelligent in most cases, not just vulgar.


EDIT: In fact I gave it an extra thought and I think I will enrich my sig now with this:

[RandomCL]

I don't view interactions via the Internet any different from those "in real life". You are communicating with other REAL people, and you should treat the situation as such. The internet isn't some magical outlet that makes it okay for you to believe that you are the only real person in the world, standing on a soap box, spouting bullshit. I treat people online the same as I do in person, and expect the same back. Words are our main method of communication, and the written (typed) word is just a means of conveying ideas without sound. If I was standing face to face with someone, I'd obviously have more of an insight into their intentions, but the words would still just be words. They are a means to convey thought, and just because this method is electronic, doesn't mean that it should be held in some strange regard as a "magical world" where normal etiquette doesn't apply. Mysteriously, though, some people feel this way. It baffles me.

[Uriel]

RandomCL you seem to underestimate non verbal means of communication. Written word may be good way to go for conveying ideas but not so good for discussion. Surely you know guys who sometimes say something that doesn't come right and someone gets insulted (most often a girl since they tend to read non verbal signals way better then we do).

It is the same situation with the written discussion. You are half blind. You think you just posted cool and reasonable arguments and all of the sudden you are in the middle of shitstorm because guy reading it was pissed off or girl had "those days". If that was face to face conversation you could figure out that is not best moment for little personal voyages and mom jokes.

Etiquette always applies be it normal life conversion or web based one. But then again you cannot expect me to be caring if someone posts his problems just because it would be impolite not to be caring.

[Pidjiken]

Originally Posted by RandomCL

I don't view interactions via the Internet any different from those "in real life". You are communicating with other REAL people, and you should treat the situation as such. The internet isn't some magical outlet that makes it okay for you to believe that you are the only real person in the world, standing on a soap box, spouting bullshit. I treat people online the same as I do in person, and expect the same back. Words are our main method of communication, and the written (typed) word is just a means of conveying ideas without sound. If I was standing face to face with someone, I'd obviously have more of an insight into their intentions, but the words would still just be words. They are a means to convey thought, and just because this method is electronic, doesn't mean that it should be held in some strange regard as a "magical world" where normal etiquette doesn't apply. Mysteriously, though, some people feel this way. It baffles me.

It isn't the same at all. Basically posting on the net about life's trouble is the equivalent of you going to your schools silent packed cafeteria and screaming at the top of your lungs "It hurts when I pee. My father hits me and I get molested by my mother, also my boyfriend helps them. Can someone give me a hug because of all of this?" No one does that -.-;

If the whining was done via pm it would be the same as a 1 on 1 chat. In that situation it would depend on the person you are messaging. If they are cool with hearing your life's troubles, then by all means talk to them PRIVATELY. The problem is more often than not it's done as a full blown cry for attention to the masses, which is fucking annoying to most people who are just trying to enjoy themselves on the net.

[alexander]

Originally Posted by Pidjiken

Cheers Veev! I knew you'd make something like this.

I have no idea what this whining is about. When starting a meta discussion it's useful to link the cause.

Originally Posted by VivisQueen

What's more, having come to AP from a place where there was so much arse-licking, clique-ness and censorship, I feel nothing but relief at AP's open attitude

I came from a place without any moderation. Usenet has been around much longer, and AP is the first web forum thing I really bothered with.

I do not feel I can talk about anything here. Actually I'm more anxious about criticising the site than I ever was in support forums hosted by companies.

[RandomCL]

Originally Posted by Uriel

RandomCL you seem to underestimate non verbal means of communication. Written word may be good way to go for conveying ideas but not so good for discussion. Surely you know guys who sometimes say something that doesn't come right and someone gets insulted (most often a girl since they tend to read non verbal signals way better then we do).

It is the same situation with the written discussion. You are half blind. You think you just posted cool and reasonable arguments and all of the sudden you are in the middle of shitstorm because guy reading it was pissed off or girl had "those days". If that was face to face conversation you could figure out that is not best moment for little personal voyages and mom jokes.

Etiquette always applies be it normal life conversion or web based one. But then again you cannot expect me to be caring if someone posts his problems just because it would be impolite not to be caring.

I wasn't referencing anything about empathy over someone else's problems.

I was just simply stating that I treat conversations with those online in the same manner as in person. I don't bother reading a thread full of someone's complaints, nor would I listen to them in person.

[RandomCL]

Originally Posted by Pidjiken

It isn't the same at all. Basically posting on the net about life's trouble is the equivalent of you going to your schools silent packed cafeteria and screaming at the top of your lungs "It hurts when I pee. My father hits me and I get molested by my mother, also my boyfriend helps them. Can someone give me a hug because of all of this?" No one does that -.-;

If the whining was done via pm it would be the same as a 1 on 1 chat. In that situation it would depend on the person you are messaging. If they are cool with hearing your life's troubles, then by all means talk to them PRIVATELY. The problem is more often than not it's done as a full blown cry for attention to the masses, which is fucking annoying to most people who are just trying to enjoy themselves on the net.

Yeah, as I said in my other response, I wasn't talking about any of that.

I was just speaking on my etiquette on the Internet. I guess I misunderstood the thread. I thought it was about Internet etiquette, not what you guys are talking about. My apologies.

[RandomCL]

Originally Posted by Zakiel

Perception of anonymity + lack of consequences that affect the real world + access to many people = A lack of disregard for ethics, morality, common sense, modesty, and decency among many other things.

Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone though.

I think it definitely depends on the type of board you frequent.

For example, I see much more immaturity and "social rebellion" on video game and anime message boards like this one, whereas on boards like writingforums, I see much more insight into issues pertaining to my life, generally handled with a greater level of decency.

That isn't to say that everyone here is young and immature, and the opposite for another board, but just that it is more prevalent.

I try to keep a healthy balance. I visit a lot of General/Off Topic boards (Sherdog, Shoryuken, WritingForums, AP, AS, and more) and the tone greatly varies.