Ask me about being transexual

[DS AP]

Ok on a differnt forum I frequent this topic has come up. As much as I try to stealth, I really enjoy educating people about this topic. I don't really know if this forum will have the same response to Ask/Tell style threads, but if it does I would really like to answer questions and maybe enlighten some. Go ahead and ask me whatever questions you happen to have about this, weather you are trying to figure your own life you, think we are freaks and want to ask why, or just happen to have a spur of the moment question.

[VivisQueen]

How the hell does one break it to the family 'Mum, Dad, I've decided I'm going to be a woman.' Or a man, depending on what you are born as.

I suppose it is one of the most difficult life-changing decisions because not only are you affecting a large part of your identity, but the world around you literally has to shift its perceptions and preconceptions.

I always wonder, for example, for men who become women, do they often find their male family members start opening doors for them, letting them go through first, pull out chairs for them? Do they suddenly get more fearful about walking the streets at night by themselves, like inexplicably, because they are now women and 'that's what women do'. Or in some ways are the family members and general public unable to look beyond the original sex of the person?

[Kensai]

Originally Posted by Vivi's Queen

I always wonder, for example, for men who become women, do they often find their male family members start opening doors for them, letting them go through first, pull out chairs for them?

You don't have any brothers do you?

[DS AP]

Originally Posted by Vivi's Queen

How the hell does one break it to the family 'Mum, Dad, I've decided I'm going to be a woman.' Or a man, depending on what you are born as.

I always wonder, for example, for men who become women, do they often find their male family members start opening doors for them, letting them go through first, pull out chairs for them? Do they suddenly get more fearful about walking the streets at night by themselves, like inexplicably, because they are now women and 'that's what women do'. Or in some ways are the family members and general public unable to look beyond the original sex of the person?

For me I had to work up the nerve for months to tell my mother. When I actually told her, I had her sit down and I sat next to her and I just kind of let it blurt out. I *knew* she wouldn't care, but I couldn't help but be afraid she would disown me anyway.

About the only change in my family has been my mom sometimes getting my name right. I simply just don't deal with much of my family, and that in all honesty is how I like it.

[VivisQueen]

Awesome. I'm hoping that when I have a kid and they turn out to be gay or want to have a sex change, or decide they're scientologists, I'll just not care. Well, maybe not the scientology - I'll go apeshit.

But it seems to me it's a lucky individual who has parents who are understanding about such changes right from the start.

Were you a man who became a woman or a woman who became a man? And do you think society is more forgiving about one than the other or just as ignorant about both? In fact, I'm assuming society is always harsh - has your experience with people been generally good or bad?

And no, I'm not a curious person at all. Haha!

[DS AP]

I am an MtF (male to female).

Scocity is far rougher on MtFs than FtMs. Everyone seems to "know" why a female wants to be male, but they cannot grasp why a male wants to be female. I say "know" because they only think they know, the thought process is something along the lines of "well guys don't have a glass ceiling and get to be out of shape & not groom, and they must think girls are hot". Which ofcourse isn't anything at all close to what *any* transexual or genderqueer person feels. Sometimes ignorance can be a blessing I suppose. Plus a genetic female who dresses and acts like a male isn't so far out of the norm compaired to a genetic male who dresses and acts female. Not that I am saying that FtMs have actually have an easier time or anything, but as far as social acceptance goes they get off a little lighter.

[VivisQueen]

Heh. Kinda confirmed my suspicions. Gender (as opposed to sex) is a weird and terrible thing. It's one of those social constructions that impacts heavily upon how we treat others and yet it can be so... irrational sometimes.

Which makes me think, actually. Much of being a woman is about being feminine (well in this Western culture anyway). Is it femininity that attracted you to being a woman - as in, were you thinking 'In myself I feel feminine, I should be a woman) - or was it literally the sex itself that you didn't want to be anymore? Because if it is the former, then a world where you could be more free to choose your gender would mean you'd probably not need to change your sex. But if it is the latter, then however gender is constructed, you'd always want to change your sex.

And do you think the answer is different for every individual, or do you think there is a general trend of reasons for sex changes?

[DS AP]

I have the wrong body, that is all their is to it. I am litterally uncomfortible in my own skin, I know I am female. This is just to releive the cognitive dissonance between my brain and my body, as well as to bring acceptance from the outside world. My friends and family address me as Jennifer and use female pronouns, but the rest of the world won't until I look the part. I am also disgusted by my primary and secondary sex characteristics, just like a female who has facial hair or a male with breasts would be.

[VivisQueen]

I see, so it is very much about changing the body. Well, thanks for the chance to ask. It's quarter past two in the morning and my contacts are destroying my eyes, but I'll no doubt think up other questions in my sleep.

I wish you all the best, though (not sure whether you have completed the change or are still in the process of). The world can be well shit about anything different, as I'm sure you totally know, but my opinion is as long as an individual can look in the mirror and be happy with who they are, who gives a damn?

Gute Nacht.

[KidOtaku2003]

I worked with a guy that went MtF, altho i cant say it didnt bother me since lack of understanding she was pretty nice, but as a person was very unstable so i cant use her as a comparision to others.

Now I have a Uncle AND a Aunt that are gay, and my assumption is if your looking to have that change done to your of that sexual orientation, or not since two gay men would perfer to have there male counterpart and for woman vice versa, i guess my question is how hard is it to meet people as a love interest gay/straight since i dont know your preference.