The Power of Cool - An Ongoing Story by Lagore

[lagore]

The Power of Cool
A MicroSerial Novel
by
Dr. Theodore Lagoré

[lagore]

Section One:
The Annoying Acrid Adolescent Acquires Access
to an Absolutely Awesome Alliance who
Annihilate Alien Antagonists

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Part One
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Tommy Aldridge was sitting in his boring 7th grade science class looking at all the bored kids who were listening to the teacher talk about neutrons or DNA or some other boring **** like that. He was also bored. Really, really bored. He couldn't even draw some doodles because he had used up all his notebook paper the day before when he got a little carried away making paper-mache. He couldn't sleep, because he had stupidly been late to the first day of class and he was stuck with that crappy seat that's right in the middle of the front row. The one where the teacher is constantly looking right at you. You know the one.

So Tommy passed the time imagining what would happen if a nuclear bomb was dropped near his city. The school could protect them reasonably well from the fallout, and there would be plenty of food in the cafeteria. But these teachers would be totally ineffective against the hordes of mutants. He would have no choice but to initiate a coup-de-tat against them. Yes... he could barricade the doors and throw chairs at the mutants from the second floor. It was just crazy enough to work.

Tommy was busy trying to figure out how to defend the school from the gangs of marauding bikers that always show up in post-apocalyptic situations, when suddenly the door swung open with a crash. In front of him stood the baddest mother****er he'd ever seen. He wore Rayban sunglasses and his jet-black hair was styled in a high, slicked back ducktail. He had on a black pinstriped suit with a long black duster over it. He had two massive fifty-caliber handguns clearly visible on his waist, and an unfiltered camel in his mouth.

He glanced across the room, then spat the cigarette out of his mouth. He pointed at Tommy and said, in a a low, raspy voice:

"You're coming with me, bitch."

To be continued...
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[Jensling]

awesome

[NimirRa]

/subscribes

[lagore]

Part Two
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"So... Seen any good movies lately?"

Tommy had always found that the best way to deal with a tense situation was by making small talk. And this would certainly count as a tense situation. First, he had been blindfolded and handcuffed, then he was dragged behind the school and forced into the back of a car. Now he could deal with all of these things, but it was the awkward silence that really got to him.

"Well... Guess you're not much of a talker then. Although, I guess you could just be listening to an iPod, and not be able to hear what I'm saying. Hmm... I wonder what kind of music you listen to. Most people would probably say metal, but I think that's a little too obvious. I think it's probably bluegrass, or maybe-"

"We're here." The mysterious, but intriguingly cool stranger said as the car came to a stop. The car door opened and some slow, heavy footsteps approached.

To be continued...
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[lagore]

Part Three
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"Good day, boy!" said a loud, jovial voice, "and welcome to- um... Tungsten, why is the new recruit blindfolded and handcuffed?"

Tommy could hear the driver's side door opening and his ultra-cool captor standing up.

"Sir, we received intelligence that this subject was particularly ferocious and dangerous."

"Really? I don't remember that."

"Yes sir. It also said that he was not yet house-broken."

"Are you sure you aren't thinking of one of our new guard dogs?"

There was a brief pause.

"In retrospect, I guess that's probably more likely, sir."

"Well, don't worry. Everyone makes mistakes... Oh! We should probably open his handcuffs."

To be continued...
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[lagore]

Part Four
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The one who had kidnapped him came over and stood Tommy up. He opened his handcuffs and untied his blindfold. At first the light was blinding, but as his eyes adjusted, he began to realize where he was. It was the old lighthouse. He had come here once for a school trip and had remembered vividly how pointless the whole experience had been.

"Allow me to apologize for your rough treatment, Mr. Redding." Tommy looked to his right and saw where the voice was coming from. In front of him stood a short, round, balding man who held an ornate cane in one hand. He had long muttonchops and wore tiny pince-nez eyeglasses. His waistcoat and pocket watch completed his unusual old-timey look.

"My name is Commodore Barnabas Tilsby Sr. I believe you've already met Agent Tungsten." Comm. Barnabas motioned towards the gun-wielding kidnapper, who nodded.

"Anywho, I'd like to welcome to the Seriously Cool Earth Defense Association or SCEDA. And you are our newest recruit. Pay attention over the next few days. The fate of the earth may depend on it..."

To be continued...
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[NimirRa]

This is getting interesting. :D

[Lanxdata]

haha sweet! Im loving it

[lagore]

Part Five
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"You see," bellowed The Commodore as he led Tommy towards the lighthouse, "SCEDA's job is to protect earth from all of the uncool extraterrestrials in our galaxy who want to do us harm."

"Okay, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. Because I have a few problems with this. Firstly, I don't believe for a second that we're at war with some aliens."

"Of course not. We don't want the public to be running around all willy-nilly, protecting their rectums from the invader's anal probes."

"Uh-huh... Secondly, you do realize that there's a bunch of elementary schoolers here right now, right? I'm just saying that this might not be the best place for a secret military organization, or whatever the hell it is you are."

"Indeed, but who would possibly suspect a simple lighthouse to be our base of operations?"

"Well, I think pretty much anyone who saw all those mysterious black sedans and g-men walking around. So what am I up to, now? Three? Right, thirdly: you can't just send an armed guy to kidnap me from school. I mean, I'm no lawyer, but that's obviously illegal, right?"

"Nope. We work for the government. We can do pretty much anything we want."

To be continued...
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