what do you think of this script?

[Njiua]

hello people,

I was searching for a way to express my fantasy and thoughts. I tried to draw, to paint or visualise then on any other way. However, sadly I'm a total loss at that kind of things.
Because of that I was searching for a good way to express my feelings. I’m working for the morning newspaper so I have plenty of time to think about my fantasies but it had no result Until last summer. I tried to write a book and many of my friends liked it very much. Sadly because of how chaotic I am I lost some hand written parts and decided to stop. So that was neither suitable for me.

I was a kind of sad when I thought about it. But after a while I came up with the idea to write a short book. I am reading light novels lately and to my surprise many of them has just got a couple of 120~140 pages. Perfect!

So I thought really hard about a story, and I want to know your opinion about it. It is a story based on the anime’s Code Geass Browse Anime by Title: ALL - Anime-Planet and IS Browse Anime by Title: ALL - Anime-Planet.

A guy named Némè is the main character. His mother, sister and brother die when the house is being burned by some guys. After a couple of weeks his father is killed by an assassin. The rest of his life, until he was sixteen, he grew up in an orphanage. He was the best is school and had the highest grades so he was invited by the special forces military school to come at their school, and he would be able to live there. So he decided to go. After a couple of weeks they have to make a test about what specialisation they will get. Némè is classified for the gunner class and the mecha class.
So this is what the begin is about

After a lot of training, meeting friends, and enemies, detailed battles between good and evil, and simulations. Jokes and sad parts in the middle of the book, the end will follow.
As they had their lovely school year, the school is being attacked by enemy forces. Despite that they are just first year Némè and a couple of his friends have to fight in this battle. In this battle some nostalgic things happen. Némè finds out some things, and has got a mayor choice at the end.

So this is a sketchy idea of my story. I have got it some more detailed already but if I put that here it would not be nice to read the story if it will finish.
If you guys got any suggestions, or feedback please let it hear.
Also your opinion is very welcome.

^^