Da Capo

[sothis]

Da Capo


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[therik]

I see this thread's already up, but there's no review on the main site... allow me to remedy the situation :)
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Story - 1.5/10

Imagine, if you will, an end to conflict, a world of peace, a universe where seldom a cross word is exchanged, much less an utterance of aggression. Truly, this would be a wonderful place to live - but watching it for 26 episodes? My, does it ever drag.

Da Capo crawls unapologetically from the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" school of harem anime. In this school, a generic male lead is pursued by a series of improbably acquiescent girls, who differ from one anime to the next solely by virtue of having their hairstyles and personality hooks randomly reassigned. As a rule, the next step is to introduce a novel setting, to plot an interesting story or perhaps to thread the characters into a comedic tapestry. Unhappily, Da Capo doesn't seem to have read that far into the instructions booklet and dismisses every one of these suggestions, instead including... nothing.

Going back to my first paragraph, this series fails principally because it is entirely free of any kind of friction. There is no adverse force to challenge the characters; there is no conflict between the characters themselves; there's not even a personality clash worthy of note. It just feels like one ceaseless bombardment of fake smiles, like an eternity spent in Starbucks. Supposedly, more than one of the girls is attracted to the unpardonably prosaic character of Junnichi Asakura, yet - aside from a handful of trivial scuffles between the two primary love interests - none of them seem to care enough to do something about it. In fact, Junnichi could have saved everyone a lot of time by just drawing up a rota and leaving it at that.

At only two points in the series does Da Capo threaten to excite in any way, shape or form, and these embers of drama are abruptly extinguished. What seem to be a dark ploy and compelling character shift turn out to be an accident and a misunderstanding, and the series returns to its irenic, monotony. Perhaps conscious of the mass-boredom being left in their wake, the later episodes finish early to be augmented by a five-minute "side episode". It is a small mercy, however, as these comprise a few sequences of unfunny nothingness and dull arthouse surrealism, two moments of mild and stylish intrigue and then one final burst of soul-destroying pointlessness. As was the case with the body of the show, a single good idea is diluted with blandness, and then struck down before it dares to captivate the viewer.

Animation - 5.5/10

The animation is passable, but far from spectacular. The lighting is done well, and nothing is truly awry. However, while some of the up-close animation is pleasing, there is no outstanding attention to detail. Indeed, there is nothing at all that is striking or memorable, aside from some face-distorting conceits which are as unfunny as they are overused. Certainly there is nothing in the animation which compensated me adequately for the way in which the story numbed my mind.

Sound - 2/10

The soundtrack is actively annoying. Each "funny" scene flaunts one of a selection of irritating, whimsical ditties as though they are some kind of license to amuse. Instead, they make the scene's failure to gratify all the more obvious and maddening. As for the main themes, whoever wrote the opening and ending tunes somehow managed to marry generic with irritating, giving rise to the pair of cacophonous lovechildren which bookend each sorry episode.

Most of the voices are tolerable but, predictably, those that remain in the consciousness are the truly annoying ones. It's not enough that Moe Mizukoshi falls asleep every few seconds; apparently her spaced-out nature must also be emphasised vocally, by stretching out every blasted sentence to the point where fingernails on a blackboard would be blessed relief. Although she is the worst offender, other characters also manage to do this. They use their voices to reflect and drive home their superficial personalities with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

Characters - 1.5/10

Uninspiring. Unoriginal. Uncommonly nauseating. These are just some of the "un-" adjectives which describe the majority of the show's cast. In a romance anime - or a romance anything, for that matter - it's pivotal that the characters be interesting and worthy of sympathy. In Da Capo's case, half of them invoke feelings of idle hatred, whilst the other half incite nothing but indifference.

What little plot is offered depends quite heavily on the viewer's emotional involvement with the protagonists. You need to care about each individual in order to care about their insignificant backstories and minor plights. It's hardly a surprise that this involvement scuppered by the fact that there is no reason to care. Those last few words may sound somewhat nihilistic but those are the depths that watching this meritless dross has brought me to.

Overall - 2.5/10

In truth, there are no real redeeming features to this anime. It is simple, it is unadventurous, it is dull, and it is a black hole of humour so dense that not even light jokes can escape its pitiless pull. More than anything, though, it is entirely devoid of any element which might rouse emotions or engender the slightest hint of a confrontation. To put it simply, Da Capo digs its own grave, without anything so controversial as a whispered complaint. It then lies there, staring up with a grotesque plastic smile upon which I am only too happy to shovel dirt until the sun bakes my flesh dry.

[rockenroll4life]

First I would like to say by reading this I feel like you didn't watch Da Capo. Starting off there are 26 episode to this anime not 24.

Originally Posted by therik

There is no adverse force to challenge the characters, there is no conflict between the characters themselves - there's not even a personality clash worthy of note.

With this statement you are flat out wrong. Having just skimmed over all 26 eps before I made a comment about this post I can say that there are plenty of conflicts, personality clashes, and conflicts.

With the last 1/4 of the anime being almost strictly story driven this showed many heart felt sad, and happy moments. As for the first the beginning of the anime I would hardly say it dragged.

As for sound, I'm not even going to go there as I completely disagree.

I'm just going to stop even nit picking at your review. I respect your opinion but I have to flat out say No....Just No.

[VivisQueen]

Heya, therik. A very amusing review. Just a couple of general points to note;

1) To me it seems there's a bit of a vocab overload happening here. I remember saying something about getting a thesaurus in another thread instead of a dictionary, but you might have gone a bit overboard. Not by much, just a tad. Whenever this happens to me, it's because I'm so intent on writing a highly sarcastic review (see Ninja Resurrection), that I kinda forget to simplify it for readability. Don't get me wrong - you make sense, but I often had to read slower because the less familiar words meant I had to think things through. There were places where I was thinking simplicity would have been more effective. I do offer some alternatives, although, as always, feel free to discard them.

2) I also found an inordinate number of adverbs. Almost every verb and adjective seems to come with an adverb. Adverbs aren't the enemy by any stretch of the imagination, I just think that used too much they constitute a massive waste of wordage. Some of them were just superfluous and got highlighted in bold. But with a couple of them, the good thing to do is sometimes to see if you can delete the adverb-verb/adjective combo and replace that with a stronger verb or adjective. So, for example, 'walking purposefully' could just be 'marching'. Or 'smiling happily' could become 'grinning'. Or 'ludicrously big' could become 'giant'. You'll find the instances underlined below.

Other than that, there are some more details I think you should consider.

Originally Posted by therik

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Story - 1.5/10

Imagine, if you will, an end to conflict(.) <--- turn this into a comma, otherwise the 'A world of peace...' bit is not a full sentence. A world of peace, a universe where seldom a cross word is exchanged, much less an utterance of aggression. Truly, this would be a wonderful place to live - but watching it for 24 episodes? My, does it ever drag.

Da Capo crawls unapologetically from the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" school of harem anime. I was confused by what follows here. Because, 'A generic male' I thought was talking specifically about the generic male in THIS anime. I didn't realise you had switched to talking generally about generic males in the 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it school of harem'. So I suggest a tiny rewrite to '... school of anime. In this school, a generic male lead is pursued....' ---> A generic male lead is pursued by a series of improbably acquiescent girls, who differ from one anime to the next solely by virtue of having their hairstyles and personality hooks randomly reassigned. As a rule, the next step is to introduce a novel setting, to plot an interesting story or perhaps to thread the characters into a comedic tapestry. Unhappily, Da Capo doesn't seem to have read that far into the instructions booklet and offhandedly repudiates <--- you could delete 'offhandedly' or delete both and use 'dismisses' in stead every one of these suggestions, instead including... nothing.

Going back to my first paragraph, this series fails principally because it is entirely free of any kind of friction. There is no adverse force to challenge the characters, there is no conflict between the characters themselves - there's not even a personality clash worthy of note. <--- I'd change the comma and the dash between the clauses into semicolons. Neater, more consistent punctuation, and much stronger pauses. It just feels like one ceaseless bombardment of fake smiles, like an eternity spent in Starbucks. <--- Lol. Great! Supposedly, more than one of the girls is attracted to the unpardonably prosaic character of Junnichi Asakura, yet - aside from a handful wholly trivial scuffles between the two primary love interests - none of them seem to care enough to do something about it. In fact, Junnichi could have probably saved everyone a lot of time by just drawing up a rota and leaving it at that.

At only two points in the series does Da Capo threaten to excite in any way(COMMA HERE) shape or form, and these embers of drama are abruptly extinguished. <--- *claps excitedly* nice imagery! What seemed to be a dark ploy and compelling character shift turn out to be an accident and a misunderstanding, and the series returns to its Irenic <--- I have never known an adjective to be capitalised. Also, change to 'seem' since you randomly switch to past tense here. Incidentally, I think the sentence would be better off without 'uninspired', since you get a more direct description, but that's just a thought, uninspired monotony. Perhaps conscious of the mass-boredom being left in their wake, the later episodes in the series cut off <--- remove 'in the series'. Change 'cut off' to 'finish' maybe? I got a bit tripped up here. If anything, you're using one word instead of two early to be augmented by a five-minute "side episode". It is a small mercy, however, as these comprise a few sequences of unfunny nothingness, a few of dull arthouse surrealism, two of mild and stylish intrigue and then one final burst of soul-destroying pointlessness. <--- after the first instance, the 'a few of' bits get really awkard. I kept having to remind myself that 'of' was referring to 'sequences'. SUGGESTED REWRITE: 'Perhaps conscious of the boredom being left in their wake, the later episodes finish early to introduce five-minute side episodes. Unfortunately, these side episodes comprise a few sequences of unfunny nothingness and dull arthouse surrealism, and one particular instalment of soul-destroying pointlessness.' As was the case with the body of the show, a single good idea is homoeopathically diluted <--- er, what? in a platitudinous <--- @_@ void, and then struck down before it dares to captivate the viewer. The problem is, I'm not sure what you're trying to say in this sentence, so I'm stumped for suggested rewrites. I'm not even sure if you've used 'platitudinous' correctly. Can a void be platitudinous, considering a void already means nothingness? That homeopathically also doesn't work well as a metaphor. I feel you could cut that word and immediately improve the sentence.

Animation - 5.5/10

Passable, but far from spectacular. <--- make this into a full sentence i.e. 'The animation is passable but far from spectacular' The lighting is done well - very well in places - and nothing is truly broken. <--- what isn't broken? If it's a metaphor, you might need to expand upon it, or, if that's not possible without going on for ages, just say what you mean in more straightforward English However, while some of the up-close animation <--- you mean 'some of the close-ups' in stead of 'up close animation'? is pretty good, there is no outstanding attention to detail. Indeed, there is nothing at all that is striking or memorable, aside from some face-distorting conceits which are as unamusing <--- 'unamusing' isn't a word as they are overused. Certainly there is nothing in the animation which compensates the viewer adequately for the way in which the story has indubitably numbed their mind. <-- When you speak about a general 'viewer' here, note how you talk in present tense. How do you know for certain that the viewer's mind has been numbed already? You're speaking to an audience that presumably hasn't yet seen Da Capo. It is much safer to just refer to yourself e.g. 'Certainly, there was nothing about the animation which compensated for the way the story numbed my mind'

Sound - 2/10

The soundtrack is actively annoying. Each scene which is meant to be funny proudly flaunts <--- when you flaunt, you proudly do so. Nobody flaunts humbly, so I'd say 'proudly' is a redundant addition. Also maybe rewrite to 'Each "funny" scene flaunts'? one of a selection of irritatingly whimsical ditties as though they are some kind of license to amuse. Instead, they render <--- Maybe 'make'? Something about rendering a failure, as opposed to rendering something/someone concrete, reads awkward the scene's failure to gratify all the more obvious and maddening. As for the main themes, whoever wrote the opening and ending tunes somehow managed to marry generic with irritating, giving rise to the pair of unholy lovechildren whose cacophonous strains bookend each sorry episode. <--- Maybe: 'As for the opening and closing themes, whoever wrote them managed to marry generic with irritating, giving rise to the pair of cacophonous lovechildren which bookend each sorry episode.' I did this because I'm not sure otherwise what 'lovechildren who have cacophonous strains' you're referring to. You get what I mean?

Most (INSERT: of the) voices are tolerable but, predictably, those that remain in the consciousness are the truly annoying ones. It's not enough that Moe Mizukoshi falls asleep every few seconds; apparently her spaced-out nature must also be emphasised vocally(,) by stretching out every blasted sentence to the point where fingernails on a blackboard would be blessed relief. Although she is the worst offender, other characters manage to translate what little personality they have into burdensomely blatant vocal intonations, repeated without clemency. <--- you know, I'm confused by this entire paragraph. Could you clarify what you are trying to say about these characters a little bit further? Maybe with slightly simplified vocabulary? For example, in stead of a general 'those that remain in the consciousness', why not a specific 'those that I remember'?

Characters - 1.5/10

Uninspiring. Unoriginal. Uncommonly nauseating. These are just some of the "un-" adjectives which describe the majority of the show's cast. In a romance anime - or a romance anything, for that matter - it's pivotal that the characters be interesting and worthy of sympathy. In Da Capo's case, half of them invoke feelings of idle hatred, whilst the other half incite nothing but indifference.

What little plot is offered depends quite heavily on the viewer's emotional involvement with the protagonists. It's hardly a surprise that this is scuppered comprehensively <--- maybe 'hindered', 'thwarted', 'frustrated'? Or even just 'scuppered' by itself by the fact that there is no reason whatsoever to care about anyone. <--- all in all, this sentence is very watery with lots of extra wordage that takes ages to build to what you're trying to say. Consider something a bit like this: 'In order to entertain, the plot depends heavily on the viewer's emotional involvement with the protagonists (MAYBE ELABORATE e.g. they spend a lot of time initially delving into the characters' everyday lives). However, since the characters are boring and unoriginal, staying interested in what happens to them becomes impossible.' Those last few words may sound somewhat nihilistic but those are the depths that watching this meritless dross has brought me to.

Overall - 2.5/10

In truth, there are no real redeeming features to this anime. It is simple, it is unadventurous, it is dull, and it is a black hole of humour (-) so dense that not even light <--- very lovely use of double meaning with 'light' jokes can escape its pitiless pull. More than anything, though, it is entirely devoid of any element which might rouse emotions or engender the slightest hint of a confrontation. To put is (it) simply, Da Capo digs its own grave, without anything so controversial as a whispered complaint. It then lies there, staring up with a grotesque plastic smile upon which I am only too happy to shovel dirt until the evening sun bakes my flesh dry. <--- not sure I get the relevance of the evening sun, but unless you can find a better way of completing that sentence, that should be okay. Made me chuckle as a whole, though.

[sothis]

rock: saying you respect his opinion and then saying it;s flat out wrong is a bit hypocritical :p YOU think differently, but it doesnt make you right over him.

[rockenroll4life]

True, but I never said my opinion was better, or correct. An opinion is an opinion, no one is right or wrong. All I think is that if this series ended up having 3 additional season that is must have been much better then was credited for.

Though I shouldn't really comment on these things because I disagree with a majority of reviews in general. I feel that to much of reviews are based on personal preference then on actual quality in comparison to other anime in its genre. Personally I've seen a fair amount of romantic based anime and I feel that it is in the top percentage of what I've seen. Though I'm sure that can be taken as personal preference but I base that off of comparison, not preference. None the less this is me just rambling and sounding like a fan boy for wanting better of an anime that I think many could enjoy or already enjoy.

[Pendevous]

I actually agree with this review, but at least I'll make it a bit higher for the effort of a story being centered around a Sakura Tree, and still has something to do with Da Capo II.

With this statement you are flat out wrong. Having just skimmed over all 26 eps before I made a comment about this post I can say that there are plenty of conflicts, personality clashes, and conflicts.

There are indeed plenty of personality clashes in the story, but the thing is, most of them are repetitive. The clash between Nemu and Junouchi even escalated to the 2nd season because the main conflict is just generally because of Nemu's immaturity.

[VivisQueen]

Originally Posted by rockenroll4life

I feel that to much of reviews are based on personal preference then on actual quality in comparison to other anime in its genre. Personally I've seen a fair amount of romantic based anime and I feel that it is in the top percentage of what I've seen. Though I'm sure that can be taken as personal preference but I base that off of comparison, not preference. None the less this is me just rambling and sounding like a fan boy for wanting better of an anime that I think many could enjoy or already enjoy.

I actually think a review can be wrong. You can be factually wrong about what happens in the story. If I said Akira was a failed romantic comedy, that makes me wrong. It doesn't have romance or comedy because it's not intended to be a romantic comedy.

However, when you say reviews are based on personal preference, that's because that is what a review is meant to be. Reviewers aren't gods - they can't move outside of themselves and compare things from an indifferent perspective. By nature of being human we will be applying our preferences etc. However, the point is to consider other factors APART from just our biases i.e. coherency of the story, depth of characters, how well the animation enhances the storytelling (whether these are in fact relevant factors TO consider) etc. Even if I don't like Kaiji's character designs and wouldn't want to see it replicated too often elsewhere, I can appreciate that it works very well for the tone of the story. Reviewers are asked to look a little bit deeper than just 'did I like it'. Although, 'did I like it' will often be the starting point. You ask yourself that question, and then you consider why or why not.

Moreover, it's inevitable that a reviewer will compare a show to other stuff they have seen. Nobody has an opinion that comes out of nowhere. If you're new to anime, you'll compare it to non-anime stories you've come across. If you'e not new and you've seen a shitload of other anime, chances are you'll have enough other similar shows to compare it to in your mind. This is the same whether you are an anime reviewer, a review for a newspaper, a reviewer for games, a reviewer for books etc. Everything is relative.

What you're criticising reviewers for is actually something that everyone does without thinking.

My guess is, you just are someone who has a view of anime that rarely gets reflected in reviews. This just means you have unique tastes or opinions or generally just seem to stumble across reviewers who tend to differ in opinion. Incidentally, I thought your original criticism of therik was an interesting one and one worth noting. Whether there is conflict/friction in a story is not necessarily just a matter of opinion - it can be a matter of fact, or at least, a fundamental enough element to storytelling that I'd double-check.

[therik]

My goodness, I appear to have courted controversy!

Rock

Originally Posted by rockenroll4life

First I would like to say by reading this I feel like you didn't watch Da Capo. Starting off there are 26 episode to this anime not 24.

Spot on. My bad, and a factual omission, which I will correct. I did watch Da Capo (approximately 2 months ago) from start to finish. Although the number of episodes must have slipped my mind, I remember well enough my feelings on it. It's certainly my least favourite of all the anime I've watched. However, I did re-watch 2 episodes before writing this to remind myself of the animation, the voices and the BGM.

Having just skimmed over all 26 eps before I made a comment about this post I can say that there are plenty of conflicts, personality clashes, and conflicts.

Conflicts? Really? Closest it gets is for my money is between Nemu and Sakura, but that's such a damp squib its not even worth mentioning, in my opinion. As for personality clashes; yes there are a handful, but I did say "no personality clashes of note", and I stand by that. The way I see it, the miniscule bust-ups that exist are blown over so quickly and comprehensively that they leave no real trace on the story.

With the last 1/4 of the anime being almost strictly story driven this showed many heart felt sad, and happy moments. As for the first the beginning of the anime I would hardly say it dragged.

I disagree. I didn't find the last 1/4 of the anime gripping me in any way, apart from when I thought

Sakura was going to turn out to be a malicious, devious bitch

. But that turned out to by way off the mark and things just got back to the status quo, which I found to be very dull.

Personally I've seen a fair amount of romantic based anime and I feel that it is in the top percentage of what I've seen

I've seen a pretty decent amount of romantic-based anime (admittedly not as many as you), and found Da Capo to be the very worst of those I'd seen. I acknowledge that different people enjoy different things, but, unfortunately, I can't write everyone else's opinion in my review. In fact, I can't write anyone else's opinion.

I think is that if this series ended up having 3 additional season that is must have been much better then was credited for.

There must be some TV programme which you hate that's had multiple seasons. I can't speak about America but over here in the UK, mindless drivel such as I'm a Celebtity, get Me Out of Here, Big Brother, and When Jordan Met Peter are still going strong.

Though I shouldn't really comment on these things because I disagree with a majority of reviews in general

No, definitely keep it up. If a reviewer isn't called to defend their opinion, then they can write absolutely anything they want. Perhaps you think that's what I've done in this case, but I hope that my comments above at least go some way to explaining why I don't quite feel the same way as you.

I acknowledge that my review was perhaps more aggressive than strictly necessary, but that's part of the point. It's hard to temper a negative review, because it tends to be a rant rather than an analysis. As such, I've probably been unkinder with my words than I should have been, but the scores that I've given are an accurate account of my impressions of the series.

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V to the Q

I also found an inordinate number of adverbs.

Yeah, I know. . It's a go-to construction for me, particularly when I'm writing like this. I actually weeded five or six others out before posting, but I'm happy to take on board that there are still too many. I'll get to cutting, particularly in the areas you suggested.

I have never known an adjective to be capitalised

I was split on this one. It's an adjective named after a person. I know for certain that 'Elizabethan', 'Dickensian' and 'Keynesian' are capitalised but that 'platonic' is not. It's hard to tell whether a word has reached sufficient commonality of usage (if I can say that) to drop its capital. Therefore, I consulted the online dictionary, who suggested that I use upper-case. Also, it looks (slighlty) less like a typo of 'ironic' when I use the capital I. It's pretty tough to find the word in use as most Google results are dictionary definitions, so I remain unsure... I'll consult the Comprehensive Oxford when I go into University today, and take her judgment on the matter.

The problem is, I'm not sure what you're trying to say in this sentence, so I'm stumped for suggested rewrites. I'm not even sure if you've used 'platitudinous' correctly. Can a void be platitudinous, considering a void already means nothingness? That homeopathically also doesn't work well as a metaphor. I feel you could cut that word and immediately improve the sentence.

I worked and re-worked this phrase, so I was certainly aware of its cloudy meaning. I opted for 'homoeopathically' simply to exaggerate the level of dilution (generally 1:1000000000000000000000000000000) and... well... you got me bang to rights on 'platitudinous void'. It is illogical to say that. I'll rework the phrase.

you know, I'm confused by this entire paragraph. Could you clarify what you are trying to say about these characters a little bit further? Maybe with slightly simplified vocabulary? For example, in stead of a general 'those that remain in the consciousness', why not a specific 'those that I remember'?

To summarise the paragraph - "The only reason some characters are memorable is because they are annoying. [Specific example of character who is annoying]. Other characters also have voices that repetitively and unsubtly hammer home a superficial facet of their personality, through their manner of speech." (For example, if a character is excitable, her speech is permanently rapid and chirpy. This doesn't convey much more than the fact that she is excitable, which is already obvious from her actions). Does that make sense, or does the paragraph read very differently from what I meant to say?

As for the "those that remain..." I take that on board, to a point. Throughout the review, I've been cautious about using the first person, and have only talked about myself in my capacity as reviewer, not in my capacity as viewer. In all honesty, I don't know whether it reads better or worse by talking about it from such a direct personal standpoint, so I attempted to avoid the issue wherever possible. That said, I understand that 1st person is something of a standard for the site, so I'll rework this bit, especially as you picked it out as being awkward.

Maybe: 'As for the opening and closing themes, whoever wrote them managed to marry generic with irritating, giving rise to the pair of cacophonous lovechildren which bookend each sorry episode.' I did this because I'm not sure otherwise what 'lovechildren who have cacophonous strains' you're referring to. You get what I mean?

If you're selling it, I'm buying it. This was another phrase that I was re-working, until I became convinced that "lovechildren" would be understandable as "music", even without using "cacophonous" as a modifier. But I think your way reads better.

Not sure I get the relevance of the evening sun, but unless you can find a better way of completing that sentence, that should be okay. Made me chuckle as a whole, though.

I used 'evening sun' to re-emphasise just how long I would spend shovelling dirt. I'd originally written 'until the labour breaks my back', but found this clichéd, so I replaced it. Would it sound better if I just took 'evening' out?

Any changes that I haven't directly commented on, I'm more than happy to accept and implement. I'll do so this afternoon when I get back from University. Once again, thanks for your time.

[VivisQueen]

Originally Posted by therik

To summarise the paragraph - "The only reason some characters are memorable is because they are annoying. [Specific example of character who is annoying]. Other characters also have voices that repetitively and unsubtly hammer home a superficial facet of their personality, through their manner of speech." (For example, if a character is excitable, her speech is permanently rapid and chirpy. This doesn't convey much more than the fact that she is excitable, which is already obvious from her actions). Does that make sense, or does the paragraph read very differently from what I meant to say?

As for the "those that remain..." I take that on board, to a point. Throughout the review, I've been cautious about using the first person, and have only talked about myself in my capacity as reviewer, not in my capacity as viewer. In all honesty, I don't know whether it reads better or worse by talking about it from such a direct personal standpoint, so I attempted to avoid the issue wherever possible. That said, I understand that 1st person is something of a standard for the site, so I'll rework this bit, especially as you picked it out as being awkward.

Regarding the first point, you notice that in your explanation of the paragraph, you were perfectly clear. If your explanation of what you've written is clearer than the original, then substitute the original for the substitute i.e. copy-paste this explanation here into the review. That's a personal trick of mine. if I have difficulty describing soemthing, then I ask myself 'what exactly am I trying to say?' And that's usually my answer.

Regarding the second point, it's less direct to refer to 'the reviewer' or 'the viewers'. These are general people who don't mean anything. However, to say 'you' or 'I' addresses specific people and makes it more relevant. I suggest that you read as many of the site reviews as possible (esp. Vivafruit, Sheex, FalseDawn <--- they know their writing shit). When you're done with that, go read Anime News Network (ANN) reviews, which are basically written to a professional standard (they are paid reviewers). Then, when you're done, find reviews in newspapers of movies etc and basically look at how they deal with the tricky issues. You'll notice, they will almost never refer to some vague entity, but usually to someone specific OR they may say 'it makes you wonder' in stead of 'I wondered' or 'you will wonder'.

Generally, on AP, the unofficial standard has been to refer to yourself as a specific person ('I wondered'). Either way, there's nothing like READING profusely lots in order to improve your own writing.